Hello, yes, am back again and this time, am back with a vengeance. I AM MAD!
I have been reading online about this young man named Billy Wolfe. He is the boy in Arkansas whose family is suing the schools and his bullies for their actions and neglect. He is the boy that the bullies LOVE to beat up. Its sick!
Billy is a 15 year old high school sophomore. He has been bullied since elementary school by the same little sadists (yes, bullies are just that, sadists) and they went on and on and never stopped. The parents tried dealing with the schools and the bullies parents and to no avail. So, enough was enough and now, they are suing them all! Good on them, I hope they take them all straight to the bank.
I am sick and tired of people considering this some sick rite of passage. I am sick and tired of the denial, excuses and the whole she-bang! Just because these are kids does not mean they are immune to punishment yet we think just that…..guess what, if they are old enough to know right from wrong, they should be old enough to be held accountable for their actions. In Billy’s unfortunate journey, these sadists would beat him up, put it on camera phone and share it with everyone at school. Also, in one case, they pushed his head against a window in a school bus, it was caught on tape and STILL, nothing was done! EXCUSE ME???????????????????????? Oh and it gets worse, he has had to have dental work because of this and other things. Yet NOTHING WAS DONE! Hey, he was told that he deserved some of it. WHAT???????
Its high time we stop excusing this and get an education. Its high time we call a spade a spade and see it for what it is: ABUSE! Yes, this is outright ABUSE and that term “bullying” is not cutting it. This problem is growing worse and we are continuing to excuse it. Some are getting educated and I commend them but to allow this situation with Billy to reach these proportions is inexcusable! What is WRONG with people?
Folks, bullies “bully” or should I say abusers “abuse” because THEY CAN! They know nobody will do anything about it so it continues and continues…..would someone listen for once and save these kids from themselves????? For the love of GOD, PLEASE! They are creating so much havoc and I am sorry but in high school, a teen is old enough to think abstractly and therefore, old enough to accept some responsibility and know the difference between right from wrong.
Life is hard, sure. However, THIS is not “just life” but a violation of human and constitutional rights. IT MAKES ME ANGRY! GET REAL SOCIETY! STOP EXCUSING THIS! Yes, I am yelling because….well….I AM ANGRY and it is high time someone DOES GET ANGRY! I hope that Billy’s family is compensated in spades and that they seek him some counseling. This stuff leaves psychological scars that are horrific. As for the bullies, I hope they get help too…..they are the ones that needed it to begin with. If they had kept their crap to themselves, none of this would have ever happened. That’s right: I AM PLACING THE BLAME WHERE IT BELONGS AND NOT ON BILLY!
If anyone is reading this…..help! STOP FEEDING THE BULLY AND ENABLING THIS PROBLEM! DO THE RIGHT THING! PLEASE!
Thank you for reading and have a good day. Again, this angers me and there is no excuse. May Billy and his family prosper from this.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Peer Abuse and the Workplace
So, another week has reached us and with that comes more interesting news on Peer Abuse. As we know it happens in the schools, it also happens at the workplace. I have included work place tips in my book and a lot of times, we focus so much on the schools that the workplace tends to get overlooked in trying to reach others with this problem.
I have been reading an article on the Forbes web site about this very same problem. It is mentioned that little is done about this problem. One reason is that unless someone is at the receiving end of the abuse, it is unlikely that anyone will recognize it. Never mind that we are adults here and should understand that harassing someone and constantly harping on others and their work is wrong and that that unless someone is a supervisor themselves, they really have no place ordering others around or creating stressful nonsense. To think we are the ones at our prime and raising children! I guess those with children are teaching their children that it is okay to behave like this. The article also mentions that the victim is harmed health wise and their job performance is affected. Well no joke! Anyone who is reading this, can you function with someone ALWAYS on your back, sending you daily nasty notes in your mailbox or inbox, blaming you for others mistakes and trying to mob you out of the company? If anyone answers “yes” then they are fooling themselves in my opinion. A person can get so bogged down in this that they cannot come up for air and it affects everyone’s work performance….except the bullies who get their kicks off of this nonsense.
Yes, the health problems are there and 45% of the people out there are having to deal with these problems. These can be cardiovascular and heart problems, immune system problems, post traumatic stress and anxiety. Gee! Don’t people who are abused in other situations experience some of this? Yes, they do! However, there is a difference. The difference being that what they are dealing with is considered a clinical problem and what these in the workplace are dealing with is not. This 45% is growing daily and is not about to stop. Until people get serious about this problem that is.
There are ten signs left in the article that show that someone is being abused at work. Again, I have this in my book but does not harm in mentioning them on here. Some things one should look for is misery, constant criticism, yelling, keeping track of your mistakes, gossip and lies, left out of lunch meetings, constant need for mental health days, sabotage, impossible scheduling and having your work stolen. If any of this is occurring with you by a bully co-worker or boss, you are experiencing peer abuse and I suggest either hunting for another job before quitting this one or go a legal route. Also, keep up with that code of conduct which the company enforces. Catch the bully in his/her own stuff. If you wish to learn more, check out my book! Nobody and I mean nobody deserves this.
If you know someone who is dealing with this at work, help them. If you are the one who is the bully, you need to take two steps back and stop pricking the other guy in the eye when what you are doing is twice as bad. It takes one voice to create change, be that voice!
Source: http://www.forbes.com/health/2008/03/22/health-bullying-office-forbeslife-cx_avd_0324health.html
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of “Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/ .
I have been reading an article on the Forbes web site about this very same problem. It is mentioned that little is done about this problem. One reason is that unless someone is at the receiving end of the abuse, it is unlikely that anyone will recognize it. Never mind that we are adults here and should understand that harassing someone and constantly harping on others and their work is wrong and that that unless someone is a supervisor themselves, they really have no place ordering others around or creating stressful nonsense. To think we are the ones at our prime and raising children! I guess those with children are teaching their children that it is okay to behave like this. The article also mentions that the victim is harmed health wise and their job performance is affected. Well no joke! Anyone who is reading this, can you function with someone ALWAYS on your back, sending you daily nasty notes in your mailbox or inbox, blaming you for others mistakes and trying to mob you out of the company? If anyone answers “yes” then they are fooling themselves in my opinion. A person can get so bogged down in this that they cannot come up for air and it affects everyone’s work performance….except the bullies who get their kicks off of this nonsense.
Yes, the health problems are there and 45% of the people out there are having to deal with these problems. These can be cardiovascular and heart problems, immune system problems, post traumatic stress and anxiety. Gee! Don’t people who are abused in other situations experience some of this? Yes, they do! However, there is a difference. The difference being that what they are dealing with is considered a clinical problem and what these in the workplace are dealing with is not. This 45% is growing daily and is not about to stop. Until people get serious about this problem that is.
There are ten signs left in the article that show that someone is being abused at work. Again, I have this in my book but does not harm in mentioning them on here. Some things one should look for is misery, constant criticism, yelling, keeping track of your mistakes, gossip and lies, left out of lunch meetings, constant need for mental health days, sabotage, impossible scheduling and having your work stolen. If any of this is occurring with you by a bully co-worker or boss, you are experiencing peer abuse and I suggest either hunting for another job before quitting this one or go a legal route. Also, keep up with that code of conduct which the company enforces. Catch the bully in his/her own stuff. If you wish to learn more, check out my book! Nobody and I mean nobody deserves this.
If you know someone who is dealing with this at work, help them. If you are the one who is the bully, you need to take two steps back and stop pricking the other guy in the eye when what you are doing is twice as bad. It takes one voice to create change, be that voice!
Source: http://www.forbes.com/health/2008/03/22/health-bullying-office-forbeslife-cx_avd_0324health.html
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of “Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/ .
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Peer Abuse Using Visuals
I have been reading the recent articles on Peer Abuse (what I call that “bully” word as that “b” word is not cutting it in my opinion) and one stuck out to me. The NBC affiliate KFYR in New Town, North Dakota recently did a segment on a group called R5 Online which deals with that “b” word.
I commend R5 on their efforts. They do presentations with videos and pictures on how harmful words can be to elementary schools in the area. By painting these kids themselves into the pictures, they see themselves actually in that particular situation. This helps them to visualize and try to gain an understanding of each other. True, children do not think abstractly but the use of these pictures helps to put the problem into a concrete perspective. By doing this, children are learning to walk in one another’s shoes. I think this is a great way to learn empathy because early on, that is when children need to be learning it. If not, this can lead to other problems later in life. This day in time, I think we could all use a good dose of empathy training regardless of what age we may be. Not only is R5 using the picture technique, they are also putting up posters around all schools and have a website set up where kids can go and talk to a counselor about these problems. Boy, do I wish these resources were available elsewhere.
However, I have to disagree with a statement that was made concerning the fact that this problem decreases once these kids get into high school. I strongly disagree with this and will explain why. When a person matures and becomes more abstract in their thinking, how they approach things may be less evident and more covert. During the elementary years, child bullies are very vocal and do not have the sophistication that a teen has in disguising these situations. Teens know that vocalizing these things will get them into trouble so they become more sneaky in how they abuse their peers. They have the tools to manipulate these situations and who to take their actions to. As for the abuse, much of it is done relationally and is very hard to detect. Sure, some is overt like hate groups but much of it is done away from authority, in places where nobody will “rat them out” so to speak. The mind of an abuser has become abstract and the actions have developed. Needless to say, as a result of this, it is much harder to detect who the bully is and who they are abusing. Many in authority are missing the mark here and chances are, maybe the group from R5 is missing this as well? If having ones life threatened, do you think they are going to go and freely share the fact that they are being abused by their peers? That is ratting someone out! A form of social suicide! A sad and terrible way to view this but it’s all these kids know. The older they get, the more they know to be a fact. Maybe this is what could be occuring in this case?
As I previously stated, I am glad someone else out there is gaining an understanding and reaching out to others on this serious and lethal issue. Many bullies lack empathy and catching children early on is vital for healthy emotional growth. However, we need to understand that this problem does not “grow up” but it “grows worse” and becomes much harder to detect as a person matures. There are many adult abusers today who started out being childhood bullies. They flew under the radar due to the fact that their behavior was always excused and swept under the rug. They never grew up or out of their behavior, just fine tuned it with time. Remember, bullies do not “grow up” but they “grow worse”. This is definitely something to think about.
Source:http://www.kfyrtv.com/News_Stories.asp?news=16735
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of “Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/ .
I commend R5 on their efforts. They do presentations with videos and pictures on how harmful words can be to elementary schools in the area. By painting these kids themselves into the pictures, they see themselves actually in that particular situation. This helps them to visualize and try to gain an understanding of each other. True, children do not think abstractly but the use of these pictures helps to put the problem into a concrete perspective. By doing this, children are learning to walk in one another’s shoes. I think this is a great way to learn empathy because early on, that is when children need to be learning it. If not, this can lead to other problems later in life. This day in time, I think we could all use a good dose of empathy training regardless of what age we may be. Not only is R5 using the picture technique, they are also putting up posters around all schools and have a website set up where kids can go and talk to a counselor about these problems. Boy, do I wish these resources were available elsewhere.
However, I have to disagree with a statement that was made concerning the fact that this problem decreases once these kids get into high school. I strongly disagree with this and will explain why. When a person matures and becomes more abstract in their thinking, how they approach things may be less evident and more covert. During the elementary years, child bullies are very vocal and do not have the sophistication that a teen has in disguising these situations. Teens know that vocalizing these things will get them into trouble so they become more sneaky in how they abuse their peers. They have the tools to manipulate these situations and who to take their actions to. As for the abuse, much of it is done relationally and is very hard to detect. Sure, some is overt like hate groups but much of it is done away from authority, in places where nobody will “rat them out” so to speak. The mind of an abuser has become abstract and the actions have developed. Needless to say, as a result of this, it is much harder to detect who the bully is and who they are abusing. Many in authority are missing the mark here and chances are, maybe the group from R5 is missing this as well? If having ones life threatened, do you think they are going to go and freely share the fact that they are being abused by their peers? That is ratting someone out! A form of social suicide! A sad and terrible way to view this but it’s all these kids know. The older they get, the more they know to be a fact. Maybe this is what could be occuring in this case?
As I previously stated, I am glad someone else out there is gaining an understanding and reaching out to others on this serious and lethal issue. Many bullies lack empathy and catching children early on is vital for healthy emotional growth. However, we need to understand that this problem does not “grow up” but it “grows worse” and becomes much harder to detect as a person matures. There are many adult abusers today who started out being childhood bullies. They flew under the radar due to the fact that their behavior was always excused and swept under the rug. They never grew up or out of their behavior, just fine tuned it with time. Remember, bullies do not “grow up” but they “grow worse”. This is definitely something to think about.
Source:http://www.kfyrtv.com/News_Stories.asp?news=16735
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of “Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/ .
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Folks, bullying IS abuse! Did you know that??
Hey there! Its another week and more bullying and peer abuse occurring out there. Here is the latest…..
Well, we have second graders who are writing their own books about bullying. One even stated that this helps her get her own bad feelings out.
A recent study was conducted where cyber bullying has gone up to 9% from 6% five years ago. One thing that may help is to keep an eye on pages such as MySpace as this is a hotbed for bullying. If parents have access to their childs account, this could well decrease any bullying occurring.
Also, a woman who has a daughter who was ill went last year to purchase cigarettes and wrote a check for $26.61 and the check bounced. She is on a fixed income and was threatened by a company who stated that she needed to pay a certain amount to them or would be facing jail and $1,000 in fines. This was a simple mistake on her part yet the company was relentless. She has fallen victim to a company who contracts with the court system that demands excessive fines from those who have written checks for very little money. They bully others to pay these excessive fines and threaten jail time. Many times, writing a bad check is just a simple mistake on the part of the victim and can usually be cleared up with the bank. Plus, this was the first time this woman ever did this and was bad check book balancing on her part. It happens and we all make mistakes. What is more disturbing is that the victim never received a letter from the merchant letting her know that the check had bounced in the first place.
There was a young man who had written a list of those who had bullied him in school and church. This list was found by another party who took it to her mother. So, with everyone jumping the gun as they do before getting the facts first, took it and the young man was charged and authorities were contacted. However, through actual talking things through to get to the truth, it turned out that the bullies were the ones who pushed him to this point. Really?? Someone is actually getting this?? What took them so long??
Folks, I lived this for 27 years. I KNOW what this can do to a person and it is not some stupid rite of passage. Please, PLEASE know that bullying is actual abuse: Peer Abuse! Why should anyone have to put up with it? Why do people have to do it?
Well, we have second graders who are writing their own books about bullying. One even stated that this helps her get her own bad feelings out.
A recent study was conducted where cyber bullying has gone up to 9% from 6% five years ago. One thing that may help is to keep an eye on pages such as MySpace as this is a hotbed for bullying. If parents have access to their childs account, this could well decrease any bullying occurring.
Also, a woman who has a daughter who was ill went last year to purchase cigarettes and wrote a check for $26.61 and the check bounced. She is on a fixed income and was threatened by a company who stated that she needed to pay a certain amount to them or would be facing jail and $1,000 in fines. This was a simple mistake on her part yet the company was relentless. She has fallen victim to a company who contracts with the court system that demands excessive fines from those who have written checks for very little money. They bully others to pay these excessive fines and threaten jail time. Many times, writing a bad check is just a simple mistake on the part of the victim and can usually be cleared up with the bank. Plus, this was the first time this woman ever did this and was bad check book balancing on her part. It happens and we all make mistakes. What is more disturbing is that the victim never received a letter from the merchant letting her know that the check had bounced in the first place.
There was a young man who had written a list of those who had bullied him in school and church. This list was found by another party who took it to her mother. So, with everyone jumping the gun as they do before getting the facts first, took it and the young man was charged and authorities were contacted. However, through actual talking things through to get to the truth, it turned out that the bullies were the ones who pushed him to this point. Really?? Someone is actually getting this?? What took them so long??
Folks, I lived this for 27 years. I KNOW what this can do to a person and it is not some stupid rite of passage. Please, PLEASE know that bullying is actual abuse: Peer Abuse! Why should anyone have to put up with it? Why do people have to do it?
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Interested In Talking About Spiritualtity With a Dentist?
Well, it can be done with the Total Success Seminar! This is an audio conference with Dr. Joe
Capista who is the author of What Can a Dentist Teach You About Life and Success.
If you purchase this book, you will receive a spot on the teleseminar while they last and over $2,551 in bonus gifts. If you purchase this book within the next 24 hours, you will automatically receive a spot in Dr. Capistas audio conference. How great is that?? Check it out: http://www.joecapista.com/amazon.htm
Dr. Capista shares great information on manifestation, law of attraction and spirituality. Plus, tips to success on health, happiness and great relationships. These principles have allowed him to become successful in his own life and he now shares them with you. He has been married for over 34 years and is the in the top 3% of revenue generators in this nation. Now, you can be this successful also if you check out this great book! To learn more, visit http://www.joecapista.com/amazon.htm .
Here’s to greater success! Have a good day!
Regards,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info
Capista who is the author of What Can a Dentist Teach You About Life and Success.
If you purchase this book, you will receive a spot on the teleseminar while they last and over $2,551 in bonus gifts. If you purchase this book within the next 24 hours, you will automatically receive a spot in Dr. Capistas audio conference. How great is that?? Check it out: http://www.joecapista.com/amazon.htm
Dr. Capista shares great information on manifestation, law of attraction and spirituality. Plus, tips to success on health, happiness and great relationships. These principles have allowed him to become successful in his own life and he now shares them with you. He has been married for over 34 years and is the in the top 3% of revenue generators in this nation. Now, you can be this successful also if you check out this great book! To learn more, visit http://www.joecapista.com/amazon.htm .
Here’s to greater success! Have a good day!
Regards,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info
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