Friday, May 20, 2011

Will it ever end?

This week has been quite interesting. However, what grabbed my attention and kept it was the recent two part episode of Dr. Phil entitled Bullies Beware. The viewers got to spend the first part with a self-professed bully. The second episode gave us a 13-year-old young man who was abused by peers in elementary school. He became an abuser by middle school. The kid was quite honest; he said he enjoyed the power that came with being an abuser as it was a rush. He even stated that “he was addicted to bullying.” As he is still in the developmental years, there is a good chance he can be reformed without many complications. Heck even his mother was considered a bully. It seemed as if she owned her bad behavior and was willing to reform in that area. The one that got my goat was this self-professed bully on Monday and part of Tuesday.

This woman is 26-years-old and seems quite proud of herself. She is also the epitome of what I consider a hard core bully to be. What I mean by hard core is the organic, true Queen Bee who has followers to do her dirty work. Not a pseudo-bully like we find in the “little workers” of the Queen. I am guessing she went through school manipulating and charming those around her. Let me take a few minutes and list some of her activities:

1. She says people will respect her whether they want to or not. She demands it. (um, controlling much?)

2. When she is in line waiting for gas, she will go up to the car in front of her and tell the owner that they need to move because her car is better than theirs. (Oh, it’s that sense of entitlement speaking out!)

3. Her cousin has Down Syndrome and she makes fun of her. (Okay, your lack of empathy is screaming through here)

4. Handicapped parking should not exist and she parks in these places because she can. (Oh wow, more entitlement here! Does it ever end??)

5. She mishandled a tea cup poodle that belongs to her friend. (Um, those who harm animals usually are those with anti-social personality problems)

6. Oh and the most important tip off. A mother of a child who was abused by his peers confronted her and her behavior. Her response? “See, she is bullying ME!” This is so common of adult bullies. They spin things like this and are good at it.

As an adult survivor, I found her to be disturbing. Her lack of remorse or conscience was evident. Also, the narcissism that radiated through her and that dang sense of entitlement. One thing she did not lack was self-esteem. This woman was so arrogant and full of herself. It was hard to watch her to be honest. Yes, I have encountered this ilk all of my life. Yup, they gave me enough grief to last me 2300 lifetimes and then some. They were so good that they eventually made me believe I was the disgusting piece of crap they kept telling me I was. Well, not any longer. Their dysfunction is evident and it must suck to be them. Who do I blame for people like this? I blame society and their lack of knowledge for so long. As a child, I tried to make adults aware of this behavior in others only to be told I was “too sensitive”. Nobody wanted to put the stops out and hold these people accountable for their ilk. As a result, we have people like this woman in our society and are appalled at how they behave. We shouldn’t be! We created these monsters by not standing up to them and following them wanting to be a part of their world. As for this woman on the show, I do not know if she was a Queen Bee growing up or if she was abused by her peers. However, what I saw on that show was a perfect example of what comes of allowing this problem to fester. Not only do the abused suffer but so do those being abused. In many ways I pity her. I would not think it would be fun to run around without any conscience. I would miss out on really caring about others. Plus, the entitlement would leave me disappointed time and again as I would not always get the red carpet treatment.

Please, we do not need any more children growing up to be like this woman. Talk to your kids about this problem. Bystanders, stand up to these abusers and stop trying to be “wannabees.” Is this what we want for our future? Something to seriously think about here.


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