Will it ever end?

This week has been quite interesting. However, what grabbed my attention and kept it was the recent two part episode of Dr. Phil entitled Bullies Beware. The viewers got to spend the first part with a self-professed bully. The second episode gave us a 13-year-old young man who was abused by peers in elementary school. He became an abuser by middle school. The kid was quite honest; he said he enjoyed the power that came with being an abuser as it was a rush. He even stated that “he was addicted to bullying.” As he is still in the developmental years, there is a good chance he can be reformed without many complications. Heck even his mother was considered a bully. It seemed as if she owned her bad behavior and was willing to reform in that area. The one that got my goat was this self-professed bully on Monday and part of Tuesday.

This woman is 26-years-old and seems quite proud of herself. She is also the epitome of what I consider a hard core bully to be. What I mean by hard core is the organic, true Queen Bee who has followers to do her dirty work. Not a pseudo-bully like we find in the “little workers” of the Queen. I am guessing she went through school manipulating and charming those around her. Let me take a few minutes and list some of her activities:

1. She says people will respect her whether they want to or not. She demands it. (um, controlling much?)

2. When she is in line waiting for gas, she will go up to the car in front of her and tell the owner that they need to move because her car is better than theirs. (Oh, it’s that sense of entitlement speaking out!)

3. Her cousin has Down Syndrome and she makes fun of her. (Okay, your lack of empathy is screaming through here)

4. Handicapped parking should not exist and she parks in these places because she can. (Oh wow, more entitlement here! Does it ever end??)

5. She mishandled a tea cup poodle that belongs to her friend. (Um, those who harm animals usually are those with anti-social personality problems)

6. Oh and the most important tip off. A mother of a child who was abused by his peers confronted her and her behavior. Her response? “See, she is bullying ME!” This is so common of adult bullies. They spin things like this and are good at it.

As an adult survivor, I found her to be disturbing. Her lack of remorse or conscience was evident. Also, the narcissism that radiated through her and that dang sense of entitlement. One thing she did not lack was self-esteem. This woman was so arrogant and full of herself. It was hard to watch her to be honest. Yes, I have encountered this ilk all of my life. Yup, they gave me enough grief to last me 2300 lifetimes and then some. They were so good that they eventually made me believe I was the disgusting piece of crap they kept telling me I was. Well, not any longer. Their dysfunction is evident and it must suck to be them. Who do I blame for people like this? I blame society and their lack of knowledge for so long. As a child, I tried to make adults aware of this behavior in others only to be told I was “too sensitive”. Nobody wanted to put the stops out and hold these people accountable for their ilk. As a result, we have people like this woman in our society and are appalled at how they behave. We shouldn’t be! We created these monsters by not standing up to them and following them wanting to be a part of their world. As for this woman on the show, I do not know if she was a Queen Bee growing up or if she was abused by her peers. However, what I saw on that show was a perfect example of what comes of allowing this problem to fester. Not only do the abused suffer but so do those being abused. In many ways I pity her. I would not think it would be fun to run around without any conscience. I would miss out on really caring about others. Plus, the entitlement would leave me disappointed time and again as I would not always get the red carpet treatment.

Please, we do not need any more children growing up to be like this woman. Talk to your kids about this problem. Bystanders, stand up to these abusers and stop trying to be “wannabees.” Is this what we want for our future? Something to seriously think about here.

OJ is at it again!

Whoa boy! I come back from a nice labor day weekend and a friend sends me some information about OJ Simpson and the fact that he wants to get out of prison. He and his recent accomplice, Clarence Stewart, were in high court this past Friday trying to leave prison based upon Nevada’s “heavy burden” clause where evidently, they could post bail and leave. The judge denied this stating that their crime was too serious and stated that they did not meet this clause. Plus, both would be considered flight risks. I know most of America is rejoicing at this decision.

OJ Simpson was acquitted from the high profile double homicide trial back in the mid 90’s involving Nicole Brown-Simpson and Ronald Goldman. In 2007, OJ and Stewart were found guilty of kidnapping and robbing two sports memorabilia dealers at a Las Vegas casino and hotel. During this act, both used firearms and of course, used violence. Vintage OJ, huh? This time he was held accountable for his actions. Simpson is serving 33 years while Stewart is serving 7 ½ to 27 years in prison.

The bottom line is that OJ Simpson does not get it. This is very common amongst the anti-social and narcissistic personality disorders. That sense of entitlement, avoidance of any responsibility and lack of remorse with their actions. Has any lesson been learned on his part? If he were released, would we have the “privilege” of seeing pictures of him playing golf again? OJ committed a crime which warranted prison time and the fact that he was trying to get released is troubling. Has he even apologized to the victims for his recent actions? Does this even begin to register with him?

I commend the judge for not releasing him. He broke the law and needs to pay his dues to society. It is not uncommon for adult bullies to seek loopholes and ways to avoid punishment. They believe they are above the law and do not deserve to be punished. They manipulate their way out of these situations. I am not one who just wants to “lock them up and throw away the key”. However, in this case, OJ should be in prison. His charm is not working any longer. If he were released, he would be back on the streets and another person would be harmed more than likely.

He just does not get it if you ask me. That right there is a scary thought.

How Does He Sleep At Night?

As I got online this morning, one of the first things I saw was an article where O.J. Simpson was found guilty on 12 charges with some being kidnapping and armed robbery in a Nevada courtroom. What is more amazing is this verdict was read 13 years to the day that he was found not guilty in what was called “The Trial of the Century” where he was charged and acquitted for the murders of his former wife Nicole Brown Simpson and Ronald Goldman who was a waiter at the Brentwood restaurant Mezzaluna. During this 13 year period, we saw him in many photos living the good life in Florida. He would play a lot of golf and was always ready for the camera and any photo opportunity he could grab.

I am glad that justice has finally been served. This man literally got away with murder. I got tired of his smug face all over the nation back in 1995 during his trial that bombarded our lives. Then we would see him in photos playing golf and living it up. When he committed these crimes in Nevada, I honestly think he thought he would get away with his crimes. I got the impression that he thought he was above the law. I mean, he kills two people and gets away with it. If he can pull that off, I guess he felt he could do anything else he wanted. Of course, he never paid the Brown and Goldman families the money he was ordered to pay in the civil suit that was held after his criminal trial. He moved to Florida to avoid every loop hole out there in paying that money. Plus, a book was written by him where he gave a hypothetical confession of how Nicole and Ron were murdered. The families put the breaks on that, got the rights to the book, changed the title and all proceeds for that book are now going to the families. Now he will be in prison probably the rest of his life and frankly, I feel this is 13 years too late.

O.J. Simpson is your classic narcissist. He has a warped sense of entitlement and believed the laws did not apply to him. He got away with double homicide and moved to a state that allowed him to avoid paying the families of his victims the money that was ordered by the civil suit. If that did not beat all, he published that book with his so called hypothetical confession and trying to profit from these crimes. What kind of a person does that? One who is so vainglorious and so full of himself that he believes that he is someone special. One that lacks a conscience or any empathy for others whatsoever. In a nutshell, a bully. Yes, I said it, a bully. He abused his wife and never batted an eyelash. He murdered his wife and an innocent bystander and had the nerve to publish a book based on this. He avoided paying the money he owed his victims families. Then he comes to Nevada and pulls more crap there. This time it backfired and he was caught. This is classic behavior of an adult bully.

Now that O.J. is finally getting his just deserts, lets hope that the families and society itself can move forward and feel safe knowing that he is behind bars for the rest of his life. Finally, justice is served! Happy trails, O.J. Simpson!

Resource Cited:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/CRIME/10/04/oj.simpson.verdict/index.html

Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .