Stop Bullying Rita Allison!

South Carolina is in the news a lot these days. As the story broke earlier in the summer about Governor Mark Sanford and his mistress from Argentina, we seem to have more than our share of national publicity. If the Sanford story is not enough to keep people busy, we now have another story break concerning Sanford. The difference is that this story is not true. I guess some people have too much time on their hands.

Rita Allison is a 69 year old grandmother from South Carolina. She is a member of the House of Representatives and has done a lot of great things for the Palmetto State. Most importantly, she has been happily married for 50 years to the same man. Over the past week, a story broke where someone had sent a letter to those in Allison’s House District stating that she also had an affair with Governor Sanford. Who sent the letter? At this point nobody knows. Allison has gone public with this and stated that this is not true. She has filed a defamation lawsuit against this “John Doe.” Good for her is what I say. Nobody deserves to have their character attacked and it shows she will not be abused by her peers.

This is exactly what adult bullies do. They will take a person and spread lies and gossip about them.. Not to mention they nitpick, harass, attack, demean and try to break that person. Through this they use other people and go to extremes. Chances are that this is someone Allison knows. It could be someone she offended or disagreed with in the past. Of course, Doe is not revealing him or herself but just sending a letter with lies. Why Allison? This is not a woman who goes out of her way to make others miserable so why try and attack her? She believes in having a good heart and doing good things for others around her. What is really sad is what people say on these blogs about her. They make jokes and do other things at her expense. What ever happened to compassion for other people? Trying to help their fellow man and support them in troubled times? These people do not even know Allison yet attack her anyway. Bullies seem to take pleasure in others misery. We can take the attitude that this is all in politics. Or, we can do the right thing and stop believing the lies.

Folks, do not believe everything you read. Bullies are alive and well and regardless of the other person will do what they can to bring their victim down. I can assure you this story is false. As for John Doe, please come forward and stop your abuse. Better yet, get a hobby or do something worthwhile for a change. Try and make the world a better place.

Celebs are Bullied Too!

Another week and another Google Alert. I opened one recently that talked about celebrities who were bullied growing up. Also, saw information on the recent book written by Miley Cyrus entitled Miles to Go where bullies locked her in a bathroom for over an hour and she thought nobody would ever come and save her. Jessica Simpson mentioned having eggs thrown at her house and toilet papered. Others like Tom Cruise and Taylor Swift also shared memories of being at the hands of these little criminals in training during childhood. Fame has entered their lives and sadly, I do not believe any bullying has stopped. Its grown worse if you ask me.

The lives of celebrities are under a microscope. The public cannot get enough of them. Fans sometimes do not know when to leave them alone. Society has taught us to worship these people and as a result, we expect them to always be nice, giving and live up to the pedestals we put them on. If they have a bad day, forget to sign an autograph or walk out of the house with a shirt that does not settle with fans or others, they are sure to see it plastered all over the internet and be one of the top searches in a search engine. I live in Los Angeles and I have seen the paparazzi chase these people with cameras and cars. There is no privacy in their lives and that life, liberty and pursuit of happiness goes out the window. The public believes that since they are who they are, they must share every aspect of their lives with the rest of us. In other words, we expect them to live as they do because of who they are.

I have to just say it and that is celebrities live their lives being bullied. They are stalked, harassed, slandered, pressured by their peers and are expected to live perfect lives. One step over the line and they are crucified. They have no rights and cannot even throw out the trash without people going through it. Society feels that not only are they expected to be perfect but when they do fail or something bad happens, everyone cannot wait to get their hands on the magazines, tabloids and other fodder. If you ask me, it’s a wonder they can keep their sanity as living under a microscope can be really hard. Sure, they have money but is it really worth all of this? Humans are not wired to exist like this and no wonder many spiral out of control.

Celebrities are people like the rest of us. It just happens that their work is in the public eye whether it be television or radio. In a lot of ways they are like the rest of us. Some have families to support with children to raise. Others use that money to pay the high taxes they accumulate. Some are not even asked to be celebrities as they are born into this lifestyle. Most importantly, they are not superhuman and are fallible like the rest of us. Celebrity Worship Syndrome is a serious problem and we need to stop bullying them and allow them to live that life, liberty and pursuit of happiness like the rest of us. Put yourselves in their shoes for a minute. How would you feel if you had to leave your home incognito everyday? Getting daily threats in the mail and having to protect your children from kidnapping possibilities? Watch everything you do in public or always running away from paparazzi? You could not even drive to Burger King for a Whopper without someone finding out! Have your friends sell you out for money or you get blackmailed? Something to certainly think about in all of this. Is it really necessary? Can’t we just let them live and let live?

Juicy Campus is no More!

Well, good news travels fast I must say. I just caught word over on facebook that the college site Juicy Campus will be shutting down in the near future. They are taking the site down and leaving cyberspace and for good lets hope. I, for one, am rejoicing.

This is the website that was started by a man named Matt Ivester. His intentions were good initially. As he had not been out of school for long, he thought it would be a good idea to set up a website for college kids to go, mingle and share stories at their respective universities. There is no harm in that and I am sure the site started out as a fun place to visit. However, within the last months, this site started to take an ugly turn. Slander was posted about other students and even faculty at the schools. The person was always allowed anonymity which gave them ever more of an incentive to go on there and say degrading things such as “you are a slut” and others. Some are so bad they are not worth repeating. One student had been raped on campus and she had only told three friends about what happened. Nine months later, the story wound up on the site and the responses were “good, she deserved it!”. Eventually, the site came under fire with the legal system. Ivesters story was that the site would not censor anyone and therefore, these lies and slanderous messages were allowed to stay and he hid behind the First Amendment of free speech. After this, the site become more popular than ever.

Folks, there is nothing wrong with speaking ones mind and being honest. However, when it goes into affecting people and harming them, it becomes problematic. Calling someone a “slut” is not right nor is telling a rape victim that “they deserve it.” This right here has gone to show how insensitive we have become towards one another and the lack of empathy that I have been talking about on here. Nobody likes censorship but like anything else, there are limits. The young lady who was raped was traumatized by the words and actions of this site. I have seen other college students speak online about it. I spoke to a reporter about this particular site and the psychological damages it brings. A group of students got together on face book and stood up to Juicy Campus and saw the ugliness and harm that it created. I commend these kids for taking up the cause and speaking out. It does leave some hope that there are people of our future who have some compassion and an understanding of right from wrong.

I wish Mr. Ivester well. This started out as a good idea at the time. College is a good time in ones life. It is a time of learning and becoming an individual. Some of the stories along the way are fun to remember. However, Ivester allowed things to get ugly on there and people were affected by this stuff. So, from that perspective it’s a good thing the site is coming down. If a site like this is ever created again, I hope it will have some rules, dignity and respect to go along with it. In the meantime, we can rejoice in the fact that Juicy Campus will soon be gone. However, the wounds from those who have been hurt will still be fresh and will take a long time to heal.

Resource Cited

Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From a Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California.

Juicy Gossip?

Yesterday morning, I came online and found an interesting article on a website called Juicy Campus. This is a site devised for college students to go online, share funny stories, experiences and is general fun for those in college. The founder, Matt Ivester has been out of college for a couple of years and designed the site specifically for college students. One would think that a online place to hang out and have fun is a good thing, right? Absolutely not. I cannot find any fun in this at all.

There is a dark side to Juicy Campus as in any other site where people post and interact. Juicy Campus is also a place to cyber bully. Gossip turns ugly and students are basically slandering one another. One student in particular had a cruel experience on this site. She was raped one night on the street and shared this traumatic experience with her close friends and family. Nine months later, her experience was posted on the Juicy Campus site and many responses of “she deserved it”, “she is a slut” and other derogatory comments were targeted at her. Needless to say, the experience only made her trauma worse, not better. This site has also raised some legal issues and come under the concern of the Consumer Fraud Act. Of course, Ivester is hiding under the First Amendment of free speech and section 230 of the Communications Decency Act of 1996. His attitude is that there should be no censorship and that some of this stuff on there is mean but at the same time its funny. In a nutshell, he has no remorse about what is occurring on this site.

Are we a society that wants to continue to enable abusive behavior? Folks, if someone has been raped, its not good to rejoice and encourage slander towards the victim. Its not good to spread vicious gossip about others for fun. I understand that people should be able to speak their mind. However, at the expense of hurting others? What is good about that? I know many will tell me not to take this site so seriously. People are being affected by this! How can I not take this seriously? Not only is this cyber bullying but its abuse and outright slander. My guess is Mr. Ivester has never come under the fire of bullies. If he had, I am sure he would put limits on his site. I do not like censorship either but good grief! Some people just do not know when to stop! Are we becoming a nation lacking a conscience? Is this gossip really that juicy?

Resource Cited:
http://abcnews.go.com/OnCampus/story?id=5985372&page=1

Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/ .