Wow! Another day and another case of abuse on the records. Yes, this time it is done by a 40 year old woman in Missouri by the name of Elizabeth A. Thrasher. I guess the acts of Lori Drew were not enough to either wake people up to these things or completely put a stop to them. This is the first case under the new Megan Meier Law in Missouri to be charged with felony harassment.

Mrs. Thrasher was having a feud with the girlfriend of her ex-husband. The 17 year old daughter of the girlfriend went over to MySpace and sent Mrs. Thrasher a note telling her to grow up. Well, Mrs. Thrasher decided to head over to Craig’s List and posted a picture, email address and cell phone number of the 17 year old girl under the Casual Encounters section of the site. The content was suggesting that the girl was looking for contact of a sexual nature.

I do not even know where to begin with this one. I have seen the comments posted in this resource and people are saying “why don’t they grow up?” and things like that. All I know is that if we cannot behave as adults ourselves and handle our problems with one another as adults, how can we expect children to behave and be respectful to others? Folks, I grew up in the same generation as Mrs. Thrasher and I can tell you that this problem with peer abuse and bullying was as alive then as it is now. I can remember many who did not behave with consideration or respect and have probably not outgrown it but taking it to the workplace where we are now talking about these problems at work. Folks, if you get anything from this blog, I hope it is the fact that bullies do not grow up but grow worse. I hear so many say that people outgrow this behavior but can assure you that for the most part, they don’t. They just get more manipulative, charming and subtle in how they abuse their peers. I cannot say whether Mrs. Thrasher is an adult bully considering the fact that I do not know this lady. However, her actions in this situation indicate an adult bully. This is the kind of stuff adult bullies do. No regard for anyone else, especially a child.

I would hope after the Lori Drew case that people would wake up to this problem and not enable it. So far, it does not seem to be the case.

Is Lori Drew Online Again?

As I was reading this morning, I came across this article here online. Lori Drew is once again in the news. Recently, her case was dismissed in a Los Angeles Court which enraged me. It only set a precedence for more cases such as this and the fact that people will get away with online impersonations as she has done. I have feel strongly that social justice was not sought in this case. The Meier family will never have Megan again thanks to this woman. Yet she gets to go home and continue to watch her own daughter grow into adulthood. She has yet to pay for what she has done to the Meier family. An apology would be nice but appears that this is not going to happen.

According to recent events, Ms. Drew is asking to use the internet again as she recently got a job offer that would require her to use it at work. Since June of 2008, she had been banned from going online. Evidently, the woman has moved to an undisclosed state and found possible employment.

Folks, I DO have a problem with this. For starters, this woman took the life of a young girl who suffered from clinical depression by using the internet. She manipulated, plotted and set up a fake account as a 16 year old boy named Josh. As most abusers do, she showed her cruel streak and Josh turned against Megan which led to Megan committing bullycide. This woman was well aware of the fact that Megan was vulnerable, clinically depressed and knew her weak spots. After Megan died, she had the nerve to ask the Meier family to keep a game for her that she was giving someone for Christmas. No admission, apology or any of that. She behaved as if nothing was ever wrong. If you ask me, this is scary behavior.

As Mrs. Drew was not punished or held accountable for her crimes or Megan’s death, who is to say she is not going to go back online and pull this stunt on another child that her daughter may be feuding with? As she expressed no remorse or apology for Megan, who is to say she has changed or learned anything? MySpace is still in existence and is still a online hangout for teens. People who have internet access at their jobs are always sneaking peeks at their email or coming on places to chat like Facebook or Twitter. It does not appear she has learned a lesson the first time around and the fact that she may be going online again is scary.

I understand Mrs. Drew has to work so she can care for her family. However, I do not trust her whatsoever when it comes to the internet. She has proven that she cannot behave responsibly online and will repeat these same behaviors because she knows she will not be punished for her actions. That was the lesson that was learned the first time around. Besides, allowing this woman back online is like handing a serial killer a loaded gun. Now would anyone in their right mind even go there? Something to think about.

Stop the Celebrity Imposters!

In the aftermath of the Lori Drew trial, I have been reading bits and pieces online as time has permitted. This trial made me think of a few things over the past several days about internet safety, the realities of social sites and other odds and ends pertaining to the internet. I stumbled across this well written blog in the LA Times where the reader is asked to ponder whether or not social sites need to get serious about cyber bullying, online pranks and other debauchery that we see when we go to places such as My Space, Facebook, Twitter and others out there.

Currently, I have an account on these main social sites but the primary reason has to do with business and networking. I also add my family and friends and have reconnected with people I either worked with or went to school with in the past. Plus, you can keep everyone abreast of the latest happenings all at once rather than bit by bit through email or the phone. There are some great advantages to having accounts on these sites. However, in my own experience not only on social sites but on the internet as a whole, there is a very dark side to the dangers that can occur. Predators can be found lurking these sites for their next young prey. People are looking for love and in all of the wrong places. One very scary and overlooked problem is not only with setting up fake profiles as Lori Drew did but setting up profiles pretending to be celebrities. Fans join and see their favorite celebrity on there and will send them an add request asking to be friends. The celebrity will accept and this person is so excited! Not only that but the celebrity is actually sending them messages and leaving comments on their pages and turns out some mentally ill adult, predator or a kid is behind the screen fooling everyone. This does occur because on My Space, some friends and I took the initiative to catch these bogus profiles and report them to My Space a year ago. However, My Space asked us not to do this any further and they created their own celebrity avenue on there. Yet the fake profile and poser issue still exists. This can be very traumatic to the person who thinks they are writing their favorite celebrity only to find out that it was not that person after all.

We need to get tougher on these social sites. Facebook will delete bogus profiles and I commend them. All this problem does is add to the cyber bullying problem and feed into the predator and stalking that occurs. The psychology of the victim is traumatic. They feel violated and like they have been stabbed in the back. This can create trust issues and other psychological problems down the line. Plus, it is a very real problem that exists. I helped to catch two posers of celebrities away from social sites and the rest on social sites. Many consider this a joke but it is no laughing matter. I have defined this as a form of cyber bullying in my book with hope that people become aware of this. They say that they do not tolerate any cyber bullying on their sites? This is a form of cyber bullying so why do they tolerate this? Folks, get educated! Take this seriously! Pretending to be someone online is identity theft and is wrong. Do not enable this; ban these cyber bullies from your site! Keep things clean and safe for everyone. Do what you can to stop these online posers, I know I did.

Resource cited:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/technology/2008/11/in-the-wake-of.html

Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From a Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .

Lori Drew: A Woman Lacking a Conscience

As many of you know, I have been following the Megan Meier case. This is the case where Megan committed bullycide after a 16 year old boy she met on the social site My Space, , Josh Evans, who she was infatuated with suddenly turned on her stating “the world would be a better place without you in it.” The twist of all of this? Josh was not a 16 year old boy but a moniker created by a 49 year old woman by the name of Lori Drew along with her daughter, 14 year old Sarah and a colleague, 18 year old Ashley Grills. For a year, America has heard and followed this case and I have been right there along with everyone else. I have blogged and discussed this ad nauseum with friends and colleagues. I have been angry at this woman for even “going there” with this child in the first place. This whole story reeks of drama, cruelty and in the center of it sits this woman who apparently lacks a conscience of any kind. What kind of a person even considers doing this?
Well, Mrs. Drew is now in a Los Angeles Court having to own up to her dirty deeds. She was told by Grills and her hairdresser that what she was doing was wrong. Of course, Grills said it was okay because everyone did this sort of thing all the time on there. Her daughter even admitted to flirting with Megan as “Josh” on My Space. Of course Drew is now saying she never read the terms of service on My Space and her attorneys are lobbying for her case to be dismissed. Okay, I have a My Space account and to even set this up, one must accept the terms of service. You have to click on the little box like anyone else does. She had to have been aware to even open the account in the first place! Plus, she is trying to put a lot of blame on Ashley Grills. Now she is charged with a count of conspiracy and three counts of unauthorized computer access by violating the terms of service on My Space. From what I understand, Grills is the star witness yet has immunity. Why, I have no idea since she is a legal adult and had her own hand in all of this.
Folks, Lori Drew is mean, not stupid. She knew what she was doing was mean. She was well aware of Megan’s battle with clinical depression and her fragile state of mind. She was told by two other people that what she was doing was illegal. She involved her own 13 year old daughter in this mess. She is looking at five years in prison if convicted. Do you know what is so appalling? The judge has considered dismissing this case completely! Yes, you read right he is considering dismissing this case. Do you know the message that sends? That its okay to set up fake profiles online. Its okay to cyber bully young girls who deal with depression and send them over the edge. Engaging in illegal activity is okay. This is not okay and this woman does not deserve to walk. She deserves to be in prison where she belongs. Judge Wu, don’t go easy on her! Give her the book and throw away the key! For once, have a bully take some responsibility for their reprehensible actions. Show the world that yes, the justice system still works and Drew will be taking responsibility for her actions. I, for one, hope she rots.
Resource Cited: http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/11/defense-lori-dr.html
Elizabeth Bennett is the author and consultant of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .

As I got up this morning and went online to check the latest news, one of the first things I found was news about Megan Meier. For those who may not remember, Megan was the 13 year old girl in Missouri who committed bullycide (suicide by bullying) after she was dumped by a supposed 16 year old boy named “Josh” on the popular site My Space. It turned out that this 16 year old boy was really a woman pushing 50 named Lori Drew who was a neighbor and had a 13 year old daughter as well. Ms. Drew was posing as a 16 year old boy as she was trying to make sure that Megan was not trying to slander her daughter to others online. After the story broke last November, a blog surfaced online entitled Megan Had It Coming that was fueled with more abuse and slander towards Megan, her family and the situation itself. The blogger stated that he was Lori Drew. This blog fooled many and even made the news. This morning, I learn the real identity of the blogger is a 32 year old Washington State man named Jason Fortuny. Fortuny does not deny his actions and hides behind the freedom of speech in this. Also, he does not care what anyone thinks about him or his actions. His actions really hurt a lot of people but again, he does not care.

As traumatic as this story was for many, what made this man go a step further? What made Lori Drew devise the plan she did to pretend to be a 16 year old boy? One thing I do see in this and that is again, we are ignoring the root of the problem. The fact that we have consenting adults behaving like this is troubling. Is this a case of people having too much time on their hands or the possibility of adults with personality disorders? Both behaved in a pathological manner. Both should have had a child’s best interest at heart. Yet both crossed a line. If we have adults behaving like this, why are we so shocked when children are behaving as they do?

Its time to take this online impersonation problem seriously. You visit social sites like My Space and Facebook and see young favorites like Zac Efron, Chad Michael Murray, Lindsey Lohan and others who have a page on there and guess what? They talk to their fans! Or, people are on there viciously attacking one another and doing so under false identity. After fooling people with these actions and much abuse, it comes out that the person behind the page was not really Zac, Chad or Lindsey but a cyber bully wanting to make problems for others just for fun. Or, kids from the same school spreading lies and making vicious pages about their peers. Some even go as far as being adult predators. Now we have a suburban mom and a bored man pulling the same games. What is the result of all of this? A lot of pain, hurt and psychological trauma ensue for the victims. A young girl kills herself. Then we have those who impersonate, lie and do all of this for their own entertainment. Something is definitely wrong when the welfare of others is at stake and at the hands of people who behave and enable this problem. Or, like Mr. Fortuny, they just don’t care.

Lori Drew is dealing with legal ramifications in Los Angeles and is trying to keep a not guilty plea. What will happen to Mr. Fortuny? Can he hide behind the freedom of speech forever? Why do they feel they have done no wrong? One thing I can say is that this is how a bully operates. Until these sites take the bullying and peer abuse problem seriously, these problems will continue to exist. The innocent will fall and the guilty will rise. At the end of the day, that mind set is pathetic.

Source Cited: http://www.myfoxstl.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=7162749&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1

Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .