Online Predators vs Bullies

Well, I just finished reading this article and my mouth is still hanging open. Something worse than predators is a greater harm to kids? Well, I should have known. Bullying and Peer Abuse are the root of all evil in my opinion. So, why should this article surprise me? I guess because we are so focused on predators being bad and harmful to our children which they are while we minimalize the problem of peer abuse and bullying. Yeah, maybe that’s it! It sure seems to be the case from where I am standing.

According to this article, The Internet Safety Technical Task Force issued a report that stated with online bullying, all kids are not at risk equally as they are with predators. The bullying will generally start offline and filter its way onto the internet. Also, children who are cyber bullied know who their abuser is offline. The social sites are a hotbed for peer abuse as kids can add friends and send messages through bulletins, private message boxes, friend feeds and chat. Also, can set up groups and use other functions to slander each other. Predators exist and are also on these sites. However, as far as meeting one or searching for any material such as porn, this generally will not happen except in the case of teen males and many predators can be found on those sites. Predators do approach children on social sites, however, a predator does not have a relationship with a child offline and has no history of the child unlike the cyber bully. Unless the child tells a predator his offline address and phone number, they are not likely to have this material at hand. The cyber bully generally knows where his target lives and can gain access to any phone numbers and email addresses without any problems. The task force also suggested that there is not any one way to stop this problem unless adults get involved and take this seriously. Using software helps but parents need to filter and monitor where the child goes online. A history function is usually helpful in this case. Its about education and being aware not only of the predator problem but the cyber bullying as well.

I see children on MySpace and You Tube more often than facebook and others. Even though social sites are a great way to network, do business, reconnect with old friends and stay in touch all at once with everyone, they have a dark side to them. One thing that concerns me is the fact that when children turn 13, they are allowed to have an account on these sites. Why are we even giving teenagers an option to be on a site where adults are? I do not agree with this at all. Children, even by the age of 13, have nothing in common with adults so why give them the option to interact with them? If children are online and wish to have a place to interact, they need to be doing so on a site that is not designed for adults. In my opinion, this adds to the predator problem, not help it. A great site is the Safe Wave site that is designed for children and is set up for children to interact without predator and peer abuse problems and keeps children safe. The most important thing is keeping children safe when using the internet. This site comes recommended and after all, our children are the future so lets do what we can to keep them safe!

Resource Cited: http://www.darkreading.com/security/privacy/showArticle.jhtml?articleID=212900579
Posted at 01:19 PM in Web/Tech Permalink Comments (0) TrackBack (0)

Stop the Celebrity Imposters!

In the aftermath of the Lori Drew trial, I have been reading bits and pieces online as time has permitted. This trial made me think of a few things over the past several days about internet safety, the realities of social sites and other odds and ends pertaining to the internet. I stumbled across this well written blog in the LA Times where the reader is asked to ponder whether or not social sites need to get serious about cyber bullying, online pranks and other debauchery that we see when we go to places such as My Space, Facebook, Twitter and others out there.

Currently, I have an account on these main social sites but the primary reason has to do with business and networking. I also add my family and friends and have reconnected with people I either worked with or went to school with in the past. Plus, you can keep everyone abreast of the latest happenings all at once rather than bit by bit through email or the phone. There are some great advantages to having accounts on these sites. However, in my own experience not only on social sites but on the internet as a whole, there is a very dark side to the dangers that can occur. Predators can be found lurking these sites for their next young prey. People are looking for love and in all of the wrong places. One very scary and overlooked problem is not only with setting up fake profiles as Lori Drew did but setting up profiles pretending to be celebrities. Fans join and see their favorite celebrity on there and will send them an add request asking to be friends. The celebrity will accept and this person is so excited! Not only that but the celebrity is actually sending them messages and leaving comments on their pages and turns out some mentally ill adult, predator or a kid is behind the screen fooling everyone. This does occur because on My Space, some friends and I took the initiative to catch these bogus profiles and report them to My Space a year ago. However, My Space asked us not to do this any further and they created their own celebrity avenue on there. Yet the fake profile and poser issue still exists. This can be very traumatic to the person who thinks they are writing their favorite celebrity only to find out that it was not that person after all.

We need to get tougher on these social sites. Facebook will delete bogus profiles and I commend them. All this problem does is add to the cyber bullying problem and feed into the predator and stalking that occurs. The psychology of the victim is traumatic. They feel violated and like they have been stabbed in the back. This can create trust issues and other psychological problems down the line. Plus, it is a very real problem that exists. I helped to catch two posers of celebrities away from social sites and the rest on social sites. Many consider this a joke but it is no laughing matter. I have defined this as a form of cyber bullying in my book with hope that people become aware of this. They say that they do not tolerate any cyber bullying on their sites? This is a form of cyber bullying so why do they tolerate this? Folks, get educated! Take this seriously! Pretending to be someone online is identity theft and is wrong. Do not enable this; ban these cyber bullies from your site! Keep things clean and safe for everyone. Do what you can to stop these online posers, I know I did.

Resource cited:
http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/technology/2008/11/in-the-wake-of.html

Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From a Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .

Lori Drew: A Woman Lacking a Conscience

As many of you know, I have been following the Megan Meier case. This is the case where Megan committed bullycide after a 16 year old boy she met on the social site My Space, , Josh Evans, who she was infatuated with suddenly turned on her stating “the world would be a better place without you in it.” The twist of all of this? Josh was not a 16 year old boy but a moniker created by a 49 year old woman by the name of Lori Drew along with her daughter, 14 year old Sarah and a colleague, 18 year old Ashley Grills. For a year, America has heard and followed this case and I have been right there along with everyone else. I have blogged and discussed this ad nauseum with friends and colleagues. I have been angry at this woman for even “going there” with this child in the first place. This whole story reeks of drama, cruelty and in the center of it sits this woman who apparently lacks a conscience of any kind. What kind of a person even considers doing this?
Well, Mrs. Drew is now in a Los Angeles Court having to own up to her dirty deeds. She was told by Grills and her hairdresser that what she was doing was wrong. Of course, Grills said it was okay because everyone did this sort of thing all the time on there. Her daughter even admitted to flirting with Megan as “Josh” on My Space. Of course Drew is now saying she never read the terms of service on My Space and her attorneys are lobbying for her case to be dismissed. Okay, I have a My Space account and to even set this up, one must accept the terms of service. You have to click on the little box like anyone else does. She had to have been aware to even open the account in the first place! Plus, she is trying to put a lot of blame on Ashley Grills. Now she is charged with a count of conspiracy and three counts of unauthorized computer access by violating the terms of service on My Space. From what I understand, Grills is the star witness yet has immunity. Why, I have no idea since she is a legal adult and had her own hand in all of this.
Folks, Lori Drew is mean, not stupid. She knew what she was doing was mean. She was well aware of Megan’s battle with clinical depression and her fragile state of mind. She was told by two other people that what she was doing was illegal. She involved her own 13 year old daughter in this mess. She is looking at five years in prison if convicted. Do you know what is so appalling? The judge has considered dismissing this case completely! Yes, you read right he is considering dismissing this case. Do you know the message that sends? That its okay to set up fake profiles online. Its okay to cyber bully young girls who deal with depression and send them over the edge. Engaging in illegal activity is okay. This is not okay and this woman does not deserve to walk. She deserves to be in prison where she belongs. Judge Wu, don’t go easy on her! Give her the book and throw away the key! For once, have a bully take some responsibility for their reprehensible actions. Show the world that yes, the justice system still works and Drew will be taking responsibility for her actions. I, for one, hope she rots.
Resource Cited: http://blog.wired.com/27bstroke6/2008/11/defense-lori-dr.html
Elizabeth Bennett is the author and consultant of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .