As I was sorting through my daily Google Alerts, I found this article amongst the bunch. As a rule of thumb, I try and write about bullying and abuse by peers that occurs in the United States. However, this article which came from India really jumped out at me. If the title alone is not discouraging, the article itself is chop full of reasons to defend this problem we face. How can bullying be a good thing?
I understand the fact that children need to learn that life is hard and not always nice. That’s true; this is a dog eat dog society and people will throw one another under the bus to get what they want. It can be a vicious cycle. I think its important to teach children to stand up for themselves and take an assertive approach to the world. Also, its important to learn good leadership and healthy social skills so they can learn to get along with others and be productive. Conflict resolution is vital in the world today. Children do need to grow up learning these things.
One the flip side, when is abuse good? Abuse is not healthy folks. Constantly verbally, physically and sexually attacking others is not healthy. Since when is it good to beat someone down and break them to a point where some never recover a good thing? I guess this means someone developing depression, PTSD and social anxiety is a good thing too? This stuff happening daily in schools and the workplace is a good thing?
It’s a matter of limits folks! Knowing when it’s a matter of standing up for oneself and others and when it goes into abuse is vital in this. Children can learn healthy behaviors and grow up to be productive without this nonsense occurring. The bottom line is that people need to understand when and where to draw the line. Its pretty simple once you think about it. Teasing, joking around and such is just that; teasing and joking around. Friends do this and all in fun. However, it becomes an issue of peer abuse when the person says “Stop! Its not funny” or other things indicating that the situation is not but hurtful. “No means NO and stop means STOP.” When someone indicates they are bothered by the behavior then its time to stop! You can tell when someone is being hurt or affected as its not that hard. Really, it’s a matter of teaching this to children. Once they learn this, as adults, they will have this understanding can set these limits for their own children.
Limits and knowing them are everything in this. Bullies have no sense of boundaries and while they are young, its important to catch this and teach them this. Otherwise, they grow up believing rules do not apply to them and they have carte blanche to do as they please. Rules and laws exist for a reason. People just have to learn them and understand them. Its not different with the problem of bullying. In my opinion, this is healthy for everyone.
Resource Cited:
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From a Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California.
Showing posts with label Mental Health. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mental Health. Show all posts
Wednesday, February 04, 2009
Friday, December 05, 2008
The Evil in Peer Abuse at Work
I read an article this morning entitled Workplace Bullying: Psychological Violence? This was well written and informative. It gave a few examples of recent stories shared that involved bullying growing up and how victims were still being affected by this trauma.
One thing I want to point out is that bullies do not “grow up” as they age but they “grow worse”. They take their dirty deeds and bring them into the workplace. You can find them picking out their targets and cornering them like a cat corners a bird. Some examples of what they do are spread lies, exclude others, give false information on purpose, constant criticism. I could go on and on ad nauseum. Basically, they spend their time sucking up to the boss to persuade them that their ideas and beliefs are gospel. If they are the boss, they just revel in their power. They twist things to make themselves look good while making their target look bad. It never ends and it is physically and emotionally draining. Not to mention that companies loose a lot of money each year as a result of this. Victims develop problems like depression, anxiety and are overwhelmed with stress. A lot of sick days are used as a result of this.
One point mentioned in this article that I wanted to point out is that a person cannot work to his full potential if being bullied at work. With constant criticism, games and manipulations, how can one focus and try to do a good job? They can’t! A person does not feel safe or secure then yes, they are going to screw up.
Please, educate yourselves on this problem that persists in the workplace. Do not get involved in the politics and games. Stay away from all of that. Read your code of conduct and if any of these behaviors mentioned in the article sounds like you, do something about it! Bystanders, do something and don’t egg the problem on or add to it. If a bully targets one person, he will target another. Don’t give them any power. This is a great article and one I highly recommend others take a look at.
There is enough evil in the world. Please don’t take it to work and add to it.
Resource Cited:
http://www.fedsmith.com/article/1780/
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From a Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/
One thing I want to point out is that bullies do not “grow up” as they age but they “grow worse”. They take their dirty deeds and bring them into the workplace. You can find them picking out their targets and cornering them like a cat corners a bird. Some examples of what they do are spread lies, exclude others, give false information on purpose, constant criticism. I could go on and on ad nauseum. Basically, they spend their time sucking up to the boss to persuade them that their ideas and beliefs are gospel. If they are the boss, they just revel in their power. They twist things to make themselves look good while making their target look bad. It never ends and it is physically and emotionally draining. Not to mention that companies loose a lot of money each year as a result of this. Victims develop problems like depression, anxiety and are overwhelmed with stress. A lot of sick days are used as a result of this.
One point mentioned in this article that I wanted to point out is that a person cannot work to his full potential if being bullied at work. With constant criticism, games and manipulations, how can one focus and try to do a good job? They can’t! A person does not feel safe or secure then yes, they are going to screw up.
Please, educate yourselves on this problem that persists in the workplace. Do not get involved in the politics and games. Stay away from all of that. Read your code of conduct and if any of these behaviors mentioned in the article sounds like you, do something about it! Bystanders, do something and don’t egg the problem on or add to it. If a bully targets one person, he will target another. Don’t give them any power. This is a great article and one I highly recommend others take a look at.
There is enough evil in the world. Please don’t take it to work and add to it.
Resource Cited:
http://www.fedsmith.com/article/1780/
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From a Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Anthony Biggs Jr. Victimized by a Cruel Society
I got an email from my best friend on Saturday. It was a Yahoo story about a young man who committed suicide via a webcam in front of a live, virtual audience. This took place on the site Justin.tv .The way I understand it, this young man was threatening to take his own life and was egged on by other viewers to do so who were watching this take place. A few tried to stop it and contacted the police in his area. However, it was too late. The young man, Abraham Briggs Jr., suffered from bi-polar disorder died from a combination of opiates and benzodiazepines he took for his illness. What sort of a world do we live in where we encourage those who are hurting and are in trouble?
You know, people out there are shocked and appalled by this. Well, I’m not one of them. I have been using the internet for almost 10 years and some of the things I have seen online have been unbelievable. People starting flame wars and trolling chat rooms and communities. There is always some sort of drama somewhere. Then there is the social site problems that are hot beds for gossip, rumors and impersonating or making up monikers to hurt and upset others. My Space and Face book are two of the leading sites for this. I see the callousness people exhibit online towards one another. They waste time and energy fighting and commenting using the most scathing and biting remarks they can find. Plus, while people get their kicks out of breaking each other, I hear the other side of it. The side where people are traumatized by these actions and events. How they are needing therapy to cope with the stress, anxiety and depression that all of this has brought on. So, when I heard of this recent act of bullycide, I was not in the least surprised. Abraham Biggs Sr. was shocked by this behavior as most are but me? No, we have become a callous lot who just do not give a darn about one another at all. Any decency that was once there has left the building.
As I have said many a time, we have to crack down on this cyber bullying problem. Another young life is lost at the hands of tormentors who had fun watching their victim die right in front of their eyes. Why do we continue to stay in the dark? Why are we enabling this? Parents, please talk to your kids and set limits with them on the use of the computer. Educate them on what is right and wrong in this world. I believe many have lost this capacity and everyday, we continue to develop behavior that grows more and more pathological. We are breeding a nation of sociopaths! Let them know that watching someone committing bullycide online is not entertainment. It’s a serious problem and instead of enabling it, teach them to report it. Shouldn’t someone out there give a darn? Is there any human decency left? It can be done if we begin to take this seriously. It only takes a voice and be that voice! My condolences go out to the Biggs family. May your son rest in peace. He was a good kid that fell victim to a cruel society. Nothing more or less.
Resource Cited: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081122/ap_on_re_us/webcam_suicide
Elizabeth Bennett is the author and consultant of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective. She resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
You know, people out there are shocked and appalled by this. Well, I’m not one of them. I have been using the internet for almost 10 years and some of the things I have seen online have been unbelievable. People starting flame wars and trolling chat rooms and communities. There is always some sort of drama somewhere. Then there is the social site problems that are hot beds for gossip, rumors and impersonating or making up monikers to hurt and upset others. My Space and Face book are two of the leading sites for this. I see the callousness people exhibit online towards one another. They waste time and energy fighting and commenting using the most scathing and biting remarks they can find. Plus, while people get their kicks out of breaking each other, I hear the other side of it. The side where people are traumatized by these actions and events. How they are needing therapy to cope with the stress, anxiety and depression that all of this has brought on. So, when I heard of this recent act of bullycide, I was not in the least surprised. Abraham Biggs Sr. was shocked by this behavior as most are but me? No, we have become a callous lot who just do not give a darn about one another at all. Any decency that was once there has left the building.
As I have said many a time, we have to crack down on this cyber bullying problem. Another young life is lost at the hands of tormentors who had fun watching their victim die right in front of their eyes. Why do we continue to stay in the dark? Why are we enabling this? Parents, please talk to your kids and set limits with them on the use of the computer. Educate them on what is right and wrong in this world. I believe many have lost this capacity and everyday, we continue to develop behavior that grows more and more pathological. We are breeding a nation of sociopaths! Let them know that watching someone committing bullycide online is not entertainment. It’s a serious problem and instead of enabling it, teach them to report it. Shouldn’t someone out there give a darn? Is there any human decency left? It can be done if we begin to take this seriously. It only takes a voice and be that voice! My condolences go out to the Biggs family. May your son rest in peace. He was a good kid that fell victim to a cruel society. Nothing more or less.
Resource Cited: http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20081122/ap_on_re_us/webcam_suicide
Elizabeth Bennett is the author and consultant of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective. She resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Well, another week and another entry. I was reading in my Google Alerts about an article entitled Workplace Bullies are Costly and was I glad to see this. I was glad because it is time that more is said and done about bullying in the workplace. We focus so much on the schools and getting the kids educated yet we hardly if ever focus upon the problem in the workplace. One reason could be that people probably assume that these childhood bullies outgrow their behavior? Or that its not a big deal with adults like it is with kids? There are many myths out there I know but one thing is for certain. Bullies do NOT grow up but grow worse. Yes, they get more pathological, methodical and sophisticated in their techniques. Trust me, this problem exists; I lived in twice at work. I am well aware of the realities occuring here.
A colleague of mine, Dr. Gary Namie, has been speaking out against this problem for quite some time. He has stated that the bully is trying to put fear into targets and other employees. Also, he tries to weed out the best employees and set them up to fail. Also, he describes the four types of workplace bullies. The first being the Screaming Mimi’s who give a lot of verbal abuse and make sure others are on their side so they do not get bullied themselves. Another is the Constant Critic who does his dirty deeds behind closed doors. He will tear the victim down bit by bit so that person comes to believe he is actually incompetent and unworthy of being at the job. Another one is the Two Headed Snake. This one will try and be your best friend to your face but is out to break you down behind your back. Finally there is a Gatekeeper and this one is one who can withhold any funding or anything where the target is involved so he will fail.
Folks, is this really productive? How can people even work with all of this going on? Not only do companies loose all kinds of money but employees are being fired unjustly. Not only that but they are developing problems such as PTSD, situational depression and anxiety. Who can blame them? A bully will do anything to tear down another without the blink of an eye. Why can’t people just go to work and do a job without all of this crap? So many companies and organizations are in denial and refuse to do anything. If companies have a code of conduct, why can’t a clause about Peer Abuse be added in there? Folks, this is outright abusive behavior! Your abusers are tearing down their victims everyday. People are being affected by this garbage! Why can’t people just go to work, do a job and go home? Why do people have to horn in on others work? Do they not have enough work to do themselves? Most importantly, why can’t we get educated and crawl out of the denial that exists? We are taking the time to teach the children so what is wrong with educating ourselves in our own backyards?
If there is one thing I hope people learn it is that bullies do not grow up but they grow worse. Its time to get educated and put a stop to this once and for all. We have enough stress in this world, must we add to it?
Resource Cited: http://www.tulsaworld.com/business/article.aspx?articleID=20081026_46_E1_DrGary301220&allcom=1#commentform
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
A colleague of mine, Dr. Gary Namie, has been speaking out against this problem for quite some time. He has stated that the bully is trying to put fear into targets and other employees. Also, he tries to weed out the best employees and set them up to fail. Also, he describes the four types of workplace bullies. The first being the Screaming Mimi’s who give a lot of verbal abuse and make sure others are on their side so they do not get bullied themselves. Another is the Constant Critic who does his dirty deeds behind closed doors. He will tear the victim down bit by bit so that person comes to believe he is actually incompetent and unworthy of being at the job. Another one is the Two Headed Snake. This one will try and be your best friend to your face but is out to break you down behind your back. Finally there is a Gatekeeper and this one is one who can withhold any funding or anything where the target is involved so he will fail.
Folks, is this really productive? How can people even work with all of this going on? Not only do companies loose all kinds of money but employees are being fired unjustly. Not only that but they are developing problems such as PTSD, situational depression and anxiety. Who can blame them? A bully will do anything to tear down another without the blink of an eye. Why can’t people just go to work and do a job without all of this crap? So many companies and organizations are in denial and refuse to do anything. If companies have a code of conduct, why can’t a clause about Peer Abuse be added in there? Folks, this is outright abusive behavior! Your abusers are tearing down their victims everyday. People are being affected by this garbage! Why can’t people just go to work, do a job and go home? Why do people have to horn in on others work? Do they not have enough work to do themselves? Most importantly, why can’t we get educated and crawl out of the denial that exists? We are taking the time to teach the children so what is wrong with educating ourselves in our own backyards?
If there is one thing I hope people learn it is that bullies do not grow up but they grow worse. Its time to get educated and put a stop to this once and for all. We have enough stress in this world, must we add to it?
Resource Cited: http://www.tulsaworld.com/business/article.aspx?articleID=20081026_46_E1_DrGary301220&allcom=1#commentform
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
Saturday, September 13, 2008
I was reading an article about two teenage girls from Northern California. They are Emily and Sarah Buder and they wrote a book entitled Letters to a Bullied Girl. The inspiration for this book was a girl in Northern California named Olivia Gardner. Olivia was experiencing severe bullying and peer abuse at the hands of her peers. She suffered indignities such as having her book bag dragged through mud, peers creating an “Olivia Haters” page on the internet and tormenters would always tell her to die. Needless to say, Olivia was suicidal which comes of no surprise to me. When the Buder sisters found out about Olivia and what she was dealing with, they decided to write this book. The project grew as they started to hear from other bullied kids, kids who did bully and felt bad about it, adults who bullied growing up and felt bad and adult survivors who still struggle with the affects of being bullied and abused by their peers.
I commend these two young ladies for reaching out to Olivia who was a complete stranger. Today, it is so rare to see teens have empathy and reach out to others in a compassionate manner. I have the up most respect for these sisters. They probably do not realize how many other kids and teens they helped in their project. Sometimes, hearing these things from a peer rather than an adult or someone in authority can make a greater difference. I hope this book creates a wave with other kids out there and they learn something from it. Kindness can go a long way.
Olivia being suicidal is not uncommon. Many who are bullied and abused by their peers develop depression which leads to suicide eventually. We refer to it as bullycide as this is suicide as a result of peer abuse and bullying. How can we expect someone to grow into a well adjusted and balanced adult when as children, they suffer these indignities and have nobody there to help them? Or, the kids are told to just ignore it and stop taking it personally as it is a fact of life. Schools put so much emphasis on test scores and grades. How can someone excel when they are constantly told they are scum and need to die?
School is starting back in many places. We need to enforce these programs and laws so our children are safe and safe from each other. So they can score high in grades and become productive citizens some day. Emily and Sarah already know kindness and they exercise it. I hope others use these ladies as an example and not think of them as a joke. They both have hearts of gold and a powerful message to share.
Most importantly, I was glad to see the book was dedicated to Corrine Sides. Corrine was an exceptional young lady who did die of bullycide. May her spirit live on through this book. Angels do exist after all.
Resource Cited: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emily-and-sarah-buder/letters-to-a-bullied-girl_b_116970.html
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
I commend these two young ladies for reaching out to Olivia who was a complete stranger. Today, it is so rare to see teens have empathy and reach out to others in a compassionate manner. I have the up most respect for these sisters. They probably do not realize how many other kids and teens they helped in their project. Sometimes, hearing these things from a peer rather than an adult or someone in authority can make a greater difference. I hope this book creates a wave with other kids out there and they learn something from it. Kindness can go a long way.
Olivia being suicidal is not uncommon. Many who are bullied and abused by their peers develop depression which leads to suicide eventually. We refer to it as bullycide as this is suicide as a result of peer abuse and bullying. How can we expect someone to grow into a well adjusted and balanced adult when as children, they suffer these indignities and have nobody there to help them? Or, the kids are told to just ignore it and stop taking it personally as it is a fact of life. Schools put so much emphasis on test scores and grades. How can someone excel when they are constantly told they are scum and need to die?
School is starting back in many places. We need to enforce these programs and laws so our children are safe and safe from each other. So they can score high in grades and become productive citizens some day. Emily and Sarah already know kindness and they exercise it. I hope others use these ladies as an example and not think of them as a joke. They both have hearts of gold and a powerful message to share.
Most importantly, I was glad to see the book was dedicated to Corrine Sides. Corrine was an exceptional young lady who did die of bullycide. May her spirit live on through this book. Angels do exist after all.
Resource Cited: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/emily-and-sarah-buder/letters-to-a-bullied-girl_b_116970.html
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
Wednesday, September 03, 2008
Must We Feed the Bully?
Recently, I heard about this new book entitled “101 Facts About Bullying: What Everyone Should Know” and even though I have not read it, I do commend the author for taking a stand against the problem. Every bit helps in educating on this serious subject.
One point made in the book is that bullies can become victims and visa versa depending on situations and circumstances. Also, that it is not always good to fight back with bullies as that keeps the problem going. I have been saying both all along. The only time I advocate any fighting back is in the case of self-defense. Bullies have no limits whatsoever. Physical or psychological limits and will go the distance regardless. If a bully is trying to murder someone then yes, I do advocate fighting back out of protection and defense alone. Otherwise, I do not agree to fighting back either. Let the bully take the rap and let his actions be shown to everyone. Peer Abuse creates all sorts of problems in victims such as depression, social anxiety and PTSD. Its high time they pay for their crimes instead of the victim doing it for him.
Also, from what I understand, the book mentions that bullies can enjoy high social status. Oh isn’t this so common! Bullies are socially sophisticated and pretty much set the bar for their social environment. Therefore, they are charming and charismatic and people are drawn to them. As a result, they are given a lot of social power because people are so drawn in by them. It reminds me of one selling their souls to the devil. What bothers me is that we are learning this yet we continue to give in to them. Give them a lot of power they do not need. Instead of just saying “that is just the way it is. It is what it is” then why don’t we start educating them and rise to the occasion here? Teach them to use their powers for good instead of bad. They are given these social gifts and why do we have to allow them to misuse them? These gifts could be used to help those peers who are not blessed in these areas. Why does kindness have to be such a bad thing?
Once again, kudos to Dr. Kervokian for taking this initiative and writing the book. As a society, I wish we could learn to take the high road and stop feeding these bullies. Take the time to teach them kindness instead. After all, kindness is not really a bad thing.
Resource Cited
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
One point made in the book is that bullies can become victims and visa versa depending on situations and circumstances. Also, that it is not always good to fight back with bullies as that keeps the problem going. I have been saying both all along. The only time I advocate any fighting back is in the case of self-defense. Bullies have no limits whatsoever. Physical or psychological limits and will go the distance regardless. If a bully is trying to murder someone then yes, I do advocate fighting back out of protection and defense alone. Otherwise, I do not agree to fighting back either. Let the bully take the rap and let his actions be shown to everyone. Peer Abuse creates all sorts of problems in victims such as depression, social anxiety and PTSD. Its high time they pay for their crimes instead of the victim doing it for him.
Also, from what I understand, the book mentions that bullies can enjoy high social status. Oh isn’t this so common! Bullies are socially sophisticated and pretty much set the bar for their social environment. Therefore, they are charming and charismatic and people are drawn to them. As a result, they are given a lot of social power because people are so drawn in by them. It reminds me of one selling their souls to the devil. What bothers me is that we are learning this yet we continue to give in to them. Give them a lot of power they do not need. Instead of just saying “that is just the way it is. It is what it is” then why don’t we start educating them and rise to the occasion here? Teach them to use their powers for good instead of bad. They are given these social gifts and why do we have to allow them to misuse them? These gifts could be used to help those peers who are not blessed in these areas. Why does kindness have to be such a bad thing?
Once again, kudos to Dr. Kervokian for taking this initiative and writing the book. As a society, I wish we could learn to take the high road and stop feeding these bullies. Take the time to teach them kindness instead. After all, kindness is not really a bad thing.
Resource Cited
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Peer Abuse & Relational Aggression
Hi, I know……I have been gone for a week. Well, maybe more than a week. However, my mother came to visit me for mothers day and am just getting back in the swing of things.
Ah, a workshop on Relational Aggression. Again, many kudos to Susan Fee of the New Jersey shore area for getting this up and getting educated on this serious subject. She will be working with some local Girl Scouts in this. If there is a group that this problem exists in, its Girl Scouts. I know because for six weeks in the second grade, I was enrolled in the Brownie Troop and hated every bit of it. I never felt included and always felt isolated. Its that ole “you cannot play with us or be our friend”. I know….I know…..kids stuff. Well, this “kids stuff” really hurt and I begged to get out of it. FINALLY my mother gave in and let me quit. Who needed that crap?
Relational aggression is the “mean girls” and “girl on girl peer abuse”. It starts early folks. As young as preschool. This exclusion has always been considered “kids being kids” yet we wonder why in our society, the behavior of kids is bad and grows worse into adulthood? Well, if we would STOP ENABLING IT and start teaching early on that this behavior is hurtful and not acceptable then MAYBE we will start to see change. By saying this isolation is “kids stuff” is teaching these girls that its okay to exclude others and make them feel bad. Its okay to taunt others and make them feel bad.
I experienced relational aggression most of my life and still do. It still exists! Its not just in girls and tweens, its in grown women as well. I do a LOT of observing and see it alive and well in women and even men have their hands in it. They bring it to work and do things such as leaving others out of lunch invites, circulate emails and nasty notes and spread lies about others. Forming cliques is not uncommon either. You have your in-crowd and the hangers on who will do anything to become members of this elite group. They frequent message boards and use this by ignoring some members, going to pm’s to spread lies, always confront in mob mentalities…..its endless. What saddens me is that as adults they should know better yet this is all any of them really know. Some have been conditioned into being queen bees while others have fallen into the sidekick, banker and other dysfunctional social roles out there. They were never taught any different and now, they bring what they know to the world.
Its time to get serious about this girl on girl crime. The lies, cliques, in-crowds…..it needs to stop. Women, get an education……see what you can do about changing your own social roles out there if you have fallen into any of them. Get your daughters in these workshops so they learn early on the dangers in all of this. The formative years are crucial and we need to start educating. Kudos to Susan Fee for taking that step. Kudos to Tami McCandlish, Rachel Simmons, Dreamsinger and others out there who are working on this and trying to make a difference. Keep doing what you are doing!
As for the psychology in this, the scars can last a lifetime. The social anxiety, post traumatic stress, depression…..nothing saddens me more than to hear of a seven year old girl being diagnosed with clinical depression due to this horrific problem. It happens folks, I have lived it and continue to see it firsthand. Life is cruel, sure. Its hard and we are always going to have to face hurtles. However, with this, do we need to add to the stress that already exists out there? If you see this occurring in young girls, let them know its wrong to exclude others.
The steps in changing the world start with a random act of kindness. We can all make a difference one day at a time with this step. Something to think about….
Source: http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/GETPUBLISHED/805160480/-1/HOMETOWNS
Elizabeth Bennett is a Consultant and Author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
Ah, a workshop on Relational Aggression. Again, many kudos to Susan Fee of the New Jersey shore area for getting this up and getting educated on this serious subject. She will be working with some local Girl Scouts in this. If there is a group that this problem exists in, its Girl Scouts. I know because for six weeks in the second grade, I was enrolled in the Brownie Troop and hated every bit of it. I never felt included and always felt isolated. Its that ole “you cannot play with us or be our friend”. I know….I know…..kids stuff. Well, this “kids stuff” really hurt and I begged to get out of it. FINALLY my mother gave in and let me quit. Who needed that crap?
Relational aggression is the “mean girls” and “girl on girl peer abuse”. It starts early folks. As young as preschool. This exclusion has always been considered “kids being kids” yet we wonder why in our society, the behavior of kids is bad and grows worse into adulthood? Well, if we would STOP ENABLING IT and start teaching early on that this behavior is hurtful and not acceptable then MAYBE we will start to see change. By saying this isolation is “kids stuff” is teaching these girls that its okay to exclude others and make them feel bad. Its okay to taunt others and make them feel bad.
I experienced relational aggression most of my life and still do. It still exists! Its not just in girls and tweens, its in grown women as well. I do a LOT of observing and see it alive and well in women and even men have their hands in it. They bring it to work and do things such as leaving others out of lunch invites, circulate emails and nasty notes and spread lies about others. Forming cliques is not uncommon either. You have your in-crowd and the hangers on who will do anything to become members of this elite group. They frequent message boards and use this by ignoring some members, going to pm’s to spread lies, always confront in mob mentalities…..its endless. What saddens me is that as adults they should know better yet this is all any of them really know. Some have been conditioned into being queen bees while others have fallen into the sidekick, banker and other dysfunctional social roles out there. They were never taught any different and now, they bring what they know to the world.
Its time to get serious about this girl on girl crime. The lies, cliques, in-crowds…..it needs to stop. Women, get an education……see what you can do about changing your own social roles out there if you have fallen into any of them. Get your daughters in these workshops so they learn early on the dangers in all of this. The formative years are crucial and we need to start educating. Kudos to Susan Fee for taking that step. Kudos to Tami McCandlish, Rachel Simmons, Dreamsinger and others out there who are working on this and trying to make a difference. Keep doing what you are doing!
As for the psychology in this, the scars can last a lifetime. The social anxiety, post traumatic stress, depression…..nothing saddens me more than to hear of a seven year old girl being diagnosed with clinical depression due to this horrific problem. It happens folks, I have lived it and continue to see it firsthand. Life is cruel, sure. Its hard and we are always going to have to face hurtles. However, with this, do we need to add to the stress that already exists out there? If you see this occurring in young girls, let them know its wrong to exclude others.
The steps in changing the world start with a random act of kindness. We can all make a difference one day at a time with this step. Something to think about….
Source: http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/GETPUBLISHED/805160480/-1/HOMETOWNS
Elizabeth Bennett is a Consultant and Author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
Peer Abuse & Relational Aggression
Hi, I know……I have been gone for a week. Well, maybe more than a week. However, my mother came to visit me for mothers day and am just getting back in the swing of things.
Ah, a workshop on Relational Aggression. Again, many kudos to Susan Fee of the New Jersey shore area for getting this up and getting educated on this serious subject. She will be working with some local Girl Scouts in this. If there is a group that this problem exists in, its Girl Scouts. I know because for six weeks in the second grade, I was enrolled in the Brownie Troop and hated every bit of it. I never felt included and always felt isolated. Its that ole “you cannot play with us or be our friend”. I know….I know…..kids stuff. Well, this “kids stuff” really hurt and I begged to get out of it. FINALLY my mother gave in and let me quit. Who needed that crap?
Relational aggression is the “mean girls” and “girl on girl peer abuse”. It starts early folks. As young as preschool. This exclusion has always been considered “kids being kids” yet we wonder why in our society, the behavior of kids is bad and grows worse into adulthood? Well, if we would STOP ENABLING IT and start teaching early on that this behavior is hurtful and not acceptable then MAYBE we will start to see change. By saying this isolation is “kids stuff” is teaching these girls that its okay to exclude others and make them feel bad. Its okay to taunt others and make them feel bad.
I experienced relational aggression most of my life and still do. It still exists! Its not just in girls and tweens, its in grown women as well. I do a LOT of observing and see it alive and well in women and even men have their hands in it. They bring it to work and do things such as leaving others out of lunch invites, circulate emails and nasty notes and spread lies about others. Forming cliques is not uncommon either. You have your in-crowd and the hangers on who will do anything to become members of this elite group. They frequent message boards and use this by ignoring some members, going to pm’s to spread lies, always confront in mob mentalities…..its endless. What saddens me is that as adults they should know better yet this is all any of them really know. Some have been conditioned into being queen bees while others have fallen into the sidekick, banker and other dysfunctional social roles out there. They were never taught any different and now, they bring what they know to the world.
Its time to get serious about this girl on girl crime. The lies, cliques, in-crowds…..it needs to stop. Women, get an education……see what you can do about changing your own social roles out there if you have fallen into any of them. Get your daughters in these workshops so they learn early on the dangers in all of this. The formative years are crucial and we need to start educating. Kudos to Susan Fee for taking that step. Kudos to Tami McCandlish, Rachel Simmons, Dreamsinger and others out there who are working on this and trying to make a difference. Keep doing what you are doing!
As for the psychology in this, the scars can last a lifetime. The social anxiety, post traumatic stress, depression…..nothing saddens me more than to hear of a seven year old girl being diagnosed with clinical depression due to this horrific problem. It happens folks, I have lived it and continue to see it firsthand. Life is cruel, sure. Its hard and we are always going to have to face hurtles. However, with this, do we need to add to the stress that already exists out there? If you see this occurring in young girls, let them know its wrong to exclude others.
The steps in changing the world start with a random act of kindness. We can all make a difference one day at a time with this step. Something to think about….
Source: http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/GETPUBLISHED/805160480/-1/HOMETOWNS
Elizabeth Bennett is a Consultant and Author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
Ah, a workshop on Relational Aggression. Again, many kudos to Susan Fee of the New Jersey shore area for getting this up and getting educated on this serious subject. She will be working with some local Girl Scouts in this. If there is a group that this problem exists in, its Girl Scouts. I know because for six weeks in the second grade, I was enrolled in the Brownie Troop and hated every bit of it. I never felt included and always felt isolated. Its that ole “you cannot play with us or be our friend”. I know….I know…..kids stuff. Well, this “kids stuff” really hurt and I begged to get out of it. FINALLY my mother gave in and let me quit. Who needed that crap?
Relational aggression is the “mean girls” and “girl on girl peer abuse”. It starts early folks. As young as preschool. This exclusion has always been considered “kids being kids” yet we wonder why in our society, the behavior of kids is bad and grows worse into adulthood? Well, if we would STOP ENABLING IT and start teaching early on that this behavior is hurtful and not acceptable then MAYBE we will start to see change. By saying this isolation is “kids stuff” is teaching these girls that its okay to exclude others and make them feel bad. Its okay to taunt others and make them feel bad.
I experienced relational aggression most of my life and still do. It still exists! Its not just in girls and tweens, its in grown women as well. I do a LOT of observing and see it alive and well in women and even men have their hands in it. They bring it to work and do things such as leaving others out of lunch invites, circulate emails and nasty notes and spread lies about others. Forming cliques is not uncommon either. You have your in-crowd and the hangers on who will do anything to become members of this elite group. They frequent message boards and use this by ignoring some members, going to pm’s to spread lies, always confront in mob mentalities…..its endless. What saddens me is that as adults they should know better yet this is all any of them really know. Some have been conditioned into being queen bees while others have fallen into the sidekick, banker and other dysfunctional social roles out there. They were never taught any different and now, they bring what they know to the world.
Its time to get serious about this girl on girl crime. The lies, cliques, in-crowds…..it needs to stop. Women, get an education……see what you can do about changing your own social roles out there if you have fallen into any of them. Get your daughters in these workshops so they learn early on the dangers in all of this. The formative years are crucial and we need to start educating. Kudos to Susan Fee for taking that step. Kudos to Tami McCandlish, Rachel Simmons, Dreamsinger and others out there who are working on this and trying to make a difference. Keep doing what you are doing!
As for the psychology in this, the scars can last a lifetime. The social anxiety, post traumatic stress, depression…..nothing saddens me more than to hear of a seven year old girl being diagnosed with clinical depression due to this horrific problem. It happens folks, I have lived it and continue to see it firsthand. Life is cruel, sure. Its hard and we are always going to have to face hurtles. However, with this, do we need to add to the stress that already exists out there? If you see this occurring in young girls, let them know its wrong to exclude others.
The steps in changing the world start with a random act of kindness. We can all make a difference one day at a time with this step. Something to think about….
Source: http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/GETPUBLISHED/805160480/-1/HOMETOWNS
Elizabeth Bennett is a Consultant and Author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Hello! Its another week and sadly, more drama amongst us. Many stories in the news about Peer Abuse and one that has really gotten my goat. There has been talk about peanut allergies and peer abuse. I am not sure how many are aware of this but those who have peanut allergies can die if consuming or even being around peanuts, peanut butter or anything with this in it. Its lethal and dangerous. Yet, these bullies now use this as a weapon in bringing more harm to their victims. I tell you what and have said it many times, we are a nation growing without a conscience and as far as I am concerned, this is criminal behavior. Also, I consider this attempted murder. Sure, I am probably coming off as over zealous in my thoughts here but dangit if it walks like a duck….talks like a duck…..need I say more?
There was an incident with a 14 year old girl with peanut allergies and a group of girls she had known most of her life. They were friends until recently when these girls decided she could not sit at their lunch table any longer. How did they decide to get rid of her and shut her out? Bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school! Okay, if these girls had grown up with her and knew her, they would know about her peanut allergies and the dangers of it. They had planned this together and one girl, with a bout of conscience, warned the girl with the allergies. If this was not bad enough, she walked into class one day and someone had a jar of peanut butter. When she came in, they opened it up and sadly, the girl had a reaction and had to go to the hospital for four days. Thank goodness she was able to get through it. What has gotten me is that the girl told the school about the kids and the lunch table and the school did NOTHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!! Well, until after the fact and the girl went to the hospital they decided to do something. Now, the school has to treat this as a disability and under the 504 laws, there can be no peanut butter within the vicinity of this girl.
Do the schools realize that if this girl had died, they would have really been in trouble? Why is it that it takes actually seeing something to believe it? The school KNEW about these allergies and should have acted before it got out of hand like this. In the article, someone stated that kids do not realize the real danger in these sort of things. Excuse me? These girls grew up with the victim and were probably well aware of the dangers of peanut allergies yet “they were not thinking of the real dangers?” It is well documented that kids pass away from this. I get tired of this problem being swept under the rug. If bullycide is not bad enough, NOW we are going into homicide. Yes folks, intentionally bringing harm to someone, and in this case peanut butter, this is homicide!
My point in all of this is that despite them being underage, this was done with malicious and criminal intent and bullies are your criminals. Peer Abuse is not just “kids stuff”. Not only was this attempted homicide, but of course, good ole Relational Aggression. Yeah, you know the girl on girl stuff. The Queen Bee crap….but of course, I am sure nobody tried to investigate this or try to help until after the fact as “this is just kids stuff and it will blow over“. Kids at 13 and 14 may be testy but they certainly know the difference in right and wrong. Bringing peanut butter around someone who could die from it is wrong and again, attempted homicide. I wish these girls would be charged as such but my guess is they only got detention or were told “now don’t ever do that again, okay”. If it were me and I had a child like this, I would have pressed charges. Taken these abusers straight to the bank!
Thanks for reading.
Source:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/AllergiesNews/story?id=4659705&page=1
There was an incident with a 14 year old girl with peanut allergies and a group of girls she had known most of her life. They were friends until recently when these girls decided she could not sit at their lunch table any longer. How did they decide to get rid of her and shut her out? Bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school! Okay, if these girls had grown up with her and knew her, they would know about her peanut allergies and the dangers of it. They had planned this together and one girl, with a bout of conscience, warned the girl with the allergies. If this was not bad enough, she walked into class one day and someone had a jar of peanut butter. When she came in, they opened it up and sadly, the girl had a reaction and had to go to the hospital for four days. Thank goodness she was able to get through it. What has gotten me is that the girl told the school about the kids and the lunch table and the school did NOTHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!! Well, until after the fact and the girl went to the hospital they decided to do something. Now, the school has to treat this as a disability and under the 504 laws, there can be no peanut butter within the vicinity of this girl.
Do the schools realize that if this girl had died, they would have really been in trouble? Why is it that it takes actually seeing something to believe it? The school KNEW about these allergies and should have acted before it got out of hand like this. In the article, someone stated that kids do not realize the real danger in these sort of things. Excuse me? These girls grew up with the victim and were probably well aware of the dangers of peanut allergies yet “they were not thinking of the real dangers?” It is well documented that kids pass away from this. I get tired of this problem being swept under the rug. If bullycide is not bad enough, NOW we are going into homicide. Yes folks, intentionally bringing harm to someone, and in this case peanut butter, this is homicide!
My point in all of this is that despite them being underage, this was done with malicious and criminal intent and bullies are your criminals. Peer Abuse is not just “kids stuff”. Not only was this attempted homicide, but of course, good ole Relational Aggression. Yeah, you know the girl on girl stuff. The Queen Bee crap….but of course, I am sure nobody tried to investigate this or try to help until after the fact as “this is just kids stuff and it will blow over“. Kids at 13 and 14 may be testy but they certainly know the difference in right and wrong. Bringing peanut butter around someone who could die from it is wrong and again, attempted homicide. I wish these girls would be charged as such but my guess is they only got detention or were told “now don’t ever do that again, okay”. If it were me and I had a child like this, I would have pressed charges. Taken these abusers straight to the bank!
Thanks for reading.
Source:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/AllergiesNews/story?id=4659705&page=1
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Victoria Lindsay and Peer Abuse
Hello, I know, have not blogged in a couple of weeks. That’s my bad as I was working away from the computer. I am now back and let me tell you, the info I am getting on bullying has me nothing more than peeved to a tea. Oh yeah, Elizabeth Bennett is ANGRY! MAD! TIRED OF THE PEER ABUSE!!!!!!!!
I am well aware of the Victoria Lindsay case. The one in Florida where six teens “jumped” her and caught it on tape to put on My Space and You Tube. Yeah, this is the latest trend in peer abuse; taping assaults and getting them on these sites for everyone to see. Like some prize, you know? Are you aware that with psycho and sociopath, they ALSO look for rewards in their dirty deeds? Many times they will keep a souvenir from the assault. So, I guess this is the “reward” for these criminals in training, huh? Oh I know, its only kids and only bullying …forgive me for overreacting here as calling it abuse is just an exageration. Note the sarcasm in the last sentence. *rolling eyes*
Well, someone finally FINALLY did something right! Yup, those bullies were arrested and put in jail and I rejoiced. YES! A bully is FINALLY paying his dues! However, they screwed up again in my opinion as they are now on house arrest. House arrest? How sweet….now they can stay home and go online, play video games, text their friends and create more useless crap. Boy, I wish I had been punished this way growing up! What really takes the cake is that someone from the Dr. Phil show has bailed one of the bullies out! YES! Now I thought Good ole Phil was against bullying?
I heard the 911 call Victoria made. Describing the side of her head being hurt and blood all over her mouth. I also saw the video which was equally disturbing. The girl in pain and a group of bullies making it worse. I know there is a gag order on this case and can only learn so much about it. I say remove that gag and let it all go……get it out there and keep it real. Keep us abreast of what is going on and get these bullies back in jail. They need to understand that they did wrong and having Dr Phil bail them out of jail is NOT teaching them anything!
Oh and it gets worse…..now these bogus support pages are being set up online. Yeah, they are doing this for notoriety and not with concern for Victoria. Plus, sites are asking for money on behalf of Victoria and her family. Yup, more embezzlement on My Space and other places. Of course, nothing is going to be done I am sure. Yet the police say they are looking into it. Really? I figured these criminals would be rewarded in some way as well. You know, more house arrest or maybe a guest stint on a talk show?
Yes, this is full of sarcasm but you know, someone FINALLY did the right thing in all of this and that was putting the bullies behind bars where they belong. However, they moved them to house arrest. I am sure house arrest is not easy either but at least they are at home with access to the same stuff that started this whole mess. Plus, one gets help from Dr. Phil! The best thing that could help these kids is time in jail. Yes, let them take responsibility here. I know, they are “just kids” but are old enough to know right from wrong. Old enough to know that beating someone to a pulp and putting it online is wrong. Old enough to know all of this is wrong and until they are accepting any sort of responsibility, it is not going to register. So, if I am coming off as sarcastic, I have a damned good reason to. WHEN IS THIS GOING TO STOP??? WHEN ARE WE GOING TO STOP REWARDING AND SENSATIONALIZING BAD BEHAVIOR??? One of these kids faces life in prison? Really? I will believe it when I see it.
In the meantime, I am disgusted. Sickened and most of all, sick of the fact that this is just considered “kids stuff” and everyone is so appalled at the horrible behavior yet have never done anything before about it. GIVE THEM JAIL TIME AND I MEAN REALLY LET THEM LEARN A LESSON. Tough love works best in cases like this one.
Who knows, it may also teach the bullies how to love too.
Thanks for reading. Have a good week and praying that nothing else will spring up. These kids are abusing the crap out of one another and killing each other. ITS ABUSE!!!!!! PEER ABUSE!!!!!!!!
Links to learn more about the case:
http://www.wftv.com/news/15817394/detail.html
http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=6295182&version=2&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1
http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_272620020.shtml
http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=60A7A702445D522EB9E58AD31153B20A?contentId=6311709&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1
I am well aware of the Victoria Lindsay case. The one in Florida where six teens “jumped” her and caught it on tape to put on My Space and You Tube. Yeah, this is the latest trend in peer abuse; taping assaults and getting them on these sites for everyone to see. Like some prize, you know? Are you aware that with psycho and sociopath, they ALSO look for rewards in their dirty deeds? Many times they will keep a souvenir from the assault. So, I guess this is the “reward” for these criminals in training, huh? Oh I know, its only kids and only bullying …forgive me for overreacting here as calling it abuse is just an exageration. Note the sarcasm in the last sentence. *rolling eyes*
Well, someone finally FINALLY did something right! Yup, those bullies were arrested and put in jail and I rejoiced. YES! A bully is FINALLY paying his dues! However, they screwed up again in my opinion as they are now on house arrest. House arrest? How sweet….now they can stay home and go online, play video games, text their friends and create more useless crap. Boy, I wish I had been punished this way growing up! What really takes the cake is that someone from the Dr. Phil show has bailed one of the bullies out! YES! Now I thought Good ole Phil was against bullying?
I heard the 911 call Victoria made. Describing the side of her head being hurt and blood all over her mouth. I also saw the video which was equally disturbing. The girl in pain and a group of bullies making it worse. I know there is a gag order on this case and can only learn so much about it. I say remove that gag and let it all go……get it out there and keep it real. Keep us abreast of what is going on and get these bullies back in jail. They need to understand that they did wrong and having Dr Phil bail them out of jail is NOT teaching them anything!
Oh and it gets worse…..now these bogus support pages are being set up online. Yeah, they are doing this for notoriety and not with concern for Victoria. Plus, sites are asking for money on behalf of Victoria and her family. Yup, more embezzlement on My Space and other places. Of course, nothing is going to be done I am sure. Yet the police say they are looking into it. Really? I figured these criminals would be rewarded in some way as well. You know, more house arrest or maybe a guest stint on a talk show?
Yes, this is full of sarcasm but you know, someone FINALLY did the right thing in all of this and that was putting the bullies behind bars where they belong. However, they moved them to house arrest. I am sure house arrest is not easy either but at least they are at home with access to the same stuff that started this whole mess. Plus, one gets help from Dr. Phil! The best thing that could help these kids is time in jail. Yes, let them take responsibility here. I know, they are “just kids” but are old enough to know right from wrong. Old enough to know that beating someone to a pulp and putting it online is wrong. Old enough to know all of this is wrong and until they are accepting any sort of responsibility, it is not going to register. So, if I am coming off as sarcastic, I have a damned good reason to. WHEN IS THIS GOING TO STOP??? WHEN ARE WE GOING TO STOP REWARDING AND SENSATIONALIZING BAD BEHAVIOR??? One of these kids faces life in prison? Really? I will believe it when I see it.
In the meantime, I am disgusted. Sickened and most of all, sick of the fact that this is just considered “kids stuff” and everyone is so appalled at the horrible behavior yet have never done anything before about it. GIVE THEM JAIL TIME AND I MEAN REALLY LET THEM LEARN A LESSON. Tough love works best in cases like this one.
Who knows, it may also teach the bullies how to love too.
Thanks for reading. Have a good week and praying that nothing else will spring up. These kids are abusing the crap out of one another and killing each other. ITS ABUSE!!!!!! PEER ABUSE!!!!!!!!
Links to learn more about the case:
http://www.wftv.com/news/15817394/detail.html
http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=6295182&version=2&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1
http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_272620020.shtml
http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=60A7A702445D522EB9E58AD31153B20A?contentId=6311709&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Why do we continue to excuse Peer Abuse?
Greetings! I wanted to take a few minutes and address my thoughts on recent articles in the news concerning bullying or what I refer to as Peer Abuse.
This week, a school board meeting was held to discuss this issue in Charlotte, North Carolina. Some felt that school would be safer if Peer Abuse (sorry, I call it as I see it and this is abuse) were not such a problem and something was done to nip it in the bud. But of course, as with any other place, one board member felt it was not an issue and should deal with other important things. Folks, WHY are people still denying this? WHY are they putting this on the back burner? Do you want me to tell you WHY I think they are doing this? Because bullying is still seen as “kids stuff” and “some right of passage” while others are seeing this for what it is. ABUSE! We protect those suffering from child, rape, domestic, sexual and elder abuse, why is this any different? Same behavior and psychological impact. Yet, we tend to excuse this and accept it but help others suffering from these other forms of abuse. Sounds to me like some folks need an education!
On a positive note, in Orville California, an article was written in the Orville Mercury Register that Peer Abuse affects everyone….and that hit’s the nail on the head. It affects a community as a whole. It stresses families out. The workplace becomes toxic. Of course, in school, it becomes unsafe. The article left some great information from the Department Of Health & Human Services and it was good to see someone calling a spade a spade. Yes, this affects a person physically and psychologically. Yes, it is hard to overcome. No, this just does not “go away”. I commend this publication for raising the awareness and getting real about this serious problem.
The bottom line is that this is a form of abuse. The victim deals with a multitude of problems such as depression, social anxiety, PTSD and other issues while the bully grows up to be narcissistic and pathological. Also, many wind up in prison by the age of 24. You want to know what else? Its our tax money that keeps these prisoners in prison and I do not know about you but I, for one am tired of this. How do we combat this? We get serious about this problem……treat it as we would child, domestic, sexual and elder abuse. Bottom line!
This week, a school board meeting was held to discuss this issue in Charlotte, North Carolina. Some felt that school would be safer if Peer Abuse (sorry, I call it as I see it and this is abuse) were not such a problem and something was done to nip it in the bud. But of course, as with any other place, one board member felt it was not an issue and should deal with other important things. Folks, WHY are people still denying this? WHY are they putting this on the back burner? Do you want me to tell you WHY I think they are doing this? Because bullying is still seen as “kids stuff” and “some right of passage” while others are seeing this for what it is. ABUSE! We protect those suffering from child, rape, domestic, sexual and elder abuse, why is this any different? Same behavior and psychological impact. Yet, we tend to excuse this and accept it but help others suffering from these other forms of abuse. Sounds to me like some folks need an education!
On a positive note, in Orville California, an article was written in the Orville Mercury Register that Peer Abuse affects everyone….and that hit’s the nail on the head. It affects a community as a whole. It stresses families out. The workplace becomes toxic. Of course, in school, it becomes unsafe. The article left some great information from the Department Of Health & Human Services and it was good to see someone calling a spade a spade. Yes, this affects a person physically and psychologically. Yes, it is hard to overcome. No, this just does not “go away”. I commend this publication for raising the awareness and getting real about this serious problem.
The bottom line is that this is a form of abuse. The victim deals with a multitude of problems such as depression, social anxiety, PTSD and other issues while the bully grows up to be narcissistic and pathological. Also, many wind up in prison by the age of 24. You want to know what else? Its our tax money that keeps these prisoners in prison and I do not know about you but I, for one am tired of this. How do we combat this? We get serious about this problem……treat it as we would child, domestic, sexual and elder abuse. Bottom line!
Monday, November 26, 2007
Letter Concerning Lori Drew
Here is the letter I sent to MO people concerning Megan Meier. I typed it out and its going out today. The lady who was behind this MySpace prank is named Lori Drew. She has a blog on here trying to excuse herself out of this by blaming Megan. How low can she sink???(http://meganhaditcoming.blogspot.com/) Yes, a grown woman created this and sent this child over the edge. What does this say about our society? Anyway, I sent this letter out today to the Sheriffs Department, District Attorney and House Representative in that area. If you wish to have this info, please email me and will gladly share it.
Hi, my name is Elizabeth Bennett and am sending this concerning theMegan Meier and Lori Drew situation in your area.I am enclosing a copy of a blog this woman, Lori Drew, hassupposedly started on the internet. I will just get to the point here. WHY is this woman still walking the streets free as a bird? This is someone who is not well mentally yet the press was willing to protect her privacy. Her actions are what sent Megan over the edge. Yet, Lori is not charged with anything and expresses no remorse towards this. Word has it that she saw Megan's mother in a store and asked her to stop talking to the press. I hope Mrs. Meier speaks to the press from now until Kingdom Come! There is no justice here! None! This woman, a woman of consent went on the internet, setup a bogus Myspace account with a bogus boy named "Josh". The reasonshe did it? Because she wanted to see what was being said about her own daughter? My gosh, this is a grown woman with a family! A member of the Chamber Of Commerce! What does this say about the mentality of your community? The Meier family is charged for destroying a foosball table yet Mrs. Drew is charged with absolutely NOTHING? All she does is put up some sorry excuse of a blog blaming MEGAN for this??
Needless to say, the Anti-bullying Community is in an uproar over this. There is no justice in this and this woman should be charged with murder. Are you aware of the dangers of Peer Abuse? That's right PEER ABUSE. This is bullying with a clinical term for it. Its high time you all get an education on this. Lori Drew is nothing more than a sociopath and by allowing her to roam the streets freely, all you are doing is enabling criminal behavior. Please, lets see justice be served. Justice for Megan! Have a good day.
Regards,Elizabeth Bennett, M.Ed
http://www.peerabuse.info
elizabethbennett@peerabuse.info
I left my land mail and phone numbers where they can find me. I amnot putting them up on a public board though. I hope they arebombarded with letters. This case has burned me to the core.
Hi, my name is Elizabeth Bennett and am sending this concerning theMegan Meier and Lori Drew situation in your area.I am enclosing a copy of a blog this woman, Lori Drew, hassupposedly started on the internet. I will just get to the point here. WHY is this woman still walking the streets free as a bird? This is someone who is not well mentally yet the press was willing to protect her privacy. Her actions are what sent Megan over the edge. Yet, Lori is not charged with anything and expresses no remorse towards this. Word has it that she saw Megan's mother in a store and asked her to stop talking to the press. I hope Mrs. Meier speaks to the press from now until Kingdom Come! There is no justice here! None! This woman, a woman of consent went on the internet, setup a bogus Myspace account with a bogus boy named "Josh". The reasonshe did it? Because she wanted to see what was being said about her own daughter? My gosh, this is a grown woman with a family! A member of the Chamber Of Commerce! What does this say about the mentality of your community? The Meier family is charged for destroying a foosball table yet Mrs. Drew is charged with absolutely NOTHING? All she does is put up some sorry excuse of a blog blaming MEGAN for this??
Needless to say, the Anti-bullying Community is in an uproar over this. There is no justice in this and this woman should be charged with murder. Are you aware of the dangers of Peer Abuse? That's right PEER ABUSE. This is bullying with a clinical term for it. Its high time you all get an education on this. Lori Drew is nothing more than a sociopath and by allowing her to roam the streets freely, all you are doing is enabling criminal behavior. Please, lets see justice be served. Justice for Megan! Have a good day.
Regards,Elizabeth Bennett, M.Ed
http://www.peerabuse.info
elizabethbennett@peerabuse.info
I left my land mail and phone numbers where they can find me. I amnot putting them up on a public board though. I hope they arebombarded with letters. This case has burned me to the core.
Monday, November 05, 2007
Peer Abuse Newsletter
Hi, the Peer Abuse Newsletter for November 2007 is out. Visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/peerabuse and feel free to sign up. Its free, goes out only 4 times a year, all contact info is kept private and you can unsubscribe at any time. If you wish for me to sign you up, email me at elizabethbennett@peerabuse.info .
Have a good day,
Elizabeth Bennett
Have a good day,
Elizabeth Bennett
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