As I am located in Los Angeles, I try and keep up with the ins and outs of the bullying and peer abuse problem in this state. Recently, a bill entitled AB86 introduced by Assemblyman Ted Lieu of Torrance would finally crack down on the cyber bullying that so many of our young people face today. Finally, we are cracking down on this never ending and ever growing problem. California’s Education Code already has something in the books about harassment at school. Taking this next step is the best news I have heard in weeks.
Cyber bullying is bullying that occurs on the internet, cell phones and anything used electronically. Kids will go to social sites like My Space and Facebook to set up these pages against their classmates and send bulletins and other messages slandering their good name. Or, they may go to these websites that offer free hosting and make horrible pages about each other. If the internet is not enough, they use the cell phone to take pictures or make videos and put them up on You Tube which is a free site to post videos. Also, the use of text messaging is used and it goes on and on.
Its time that we crack down on our kids and teach them the seriousness of this problem. We can put laws on the books all we want but it is about education and enforcement. Are the schools taking this seriously? What about the parents and others in the community? Peer Abuse is not just a school and workplace problem but a community one as well. Bullying affects everyone in the community; not just the bully, bullied and bystander. If bullying in person is not enough, now we go to the internet.
I commend Assemblyman Lieu on his efforts and lets keep rooting for this bill to become a law. I know he has my vote in the next election.
Resource Cited: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2008/08/16/MNF11296BN.DTL
Elizabeth Bennett is the Author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, please visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
Monday, September 01, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Can't take the heat? Then stay out of the kitchen!
There are times when I actually have time on my hands to surf around on the internet and just read blogs or message boards. One place I have gone before is the Perez Hilton blog. This is one that shows pictures of celebrities at their worst and pokes fun at their misfortunes in life. I may see a photo of one supposedly leaving rehab and on the picture, white dots are drawn dribbling down the nose of the celebrity at hand indicating cocaine use. Or, I may see another picture where he has written “no talent” on the picture. Plus, I wonder how much of what he is reporting is truth or word on the street so to speak.
I do not know Perez Hilton as a person and have never met him. I am not trying to judge him or slander him. However, I do have an opinion of his blog. I think that he is verbally abusive to celebrities and believe maybe 1/8 of what he reports. Like any other tabloid out there, I feel he is just enjoying his fame by kicking others when they are down. Folks, once again, this is a form of bullying and Peer Abuse. Slander, the pictures, making fun of someone else and their problems. Where is the compassion? The support?
Recently, two ladies have created a blog entitled Perez Revenge where they are standing up to Perez and reporting facts about celebrities and not kicking them when they are down so to speak. As a result, Perez has gone the legal route and seeking damages in this. Why is it okay for Perez to slander celebrities but when the shoe is on the other foot, he seeks legal help? True, his home address did not need to be placed on the internet, however, that is not the issue at hand. The issue at hand is that these ladies are standing up to what I see is a bully and when someone does the same thing that he has done to many others, he reacts in typical abusive and bullying behavior; he reacts and threatens. A bully does not like for people to give them a dose of their own medicine. They get angry and react every time.
I wish these ladies well and commend them for their efforts. It is hard to bring down a bully and in my opinion, Perez comes across as a bully. If he cannot take the heat, he needs to stay out of the kitchen. What comes around goes around and Perez deserves what he is getting as far as I am concerned. Now he sees how it feels to be lied about, slandered and made fun of when the chips are down and he does not like it at all. Hopefully, he will change and for the better.
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
I do not know Perez Hilton as a person and have never met him. I am not trying to judge him or slander him. However, I do have an opinion of his blog. I think that he is verbally abusive to celebrities and believe maybe 1/8 of what he reports. Like any other tabloid out there, I feel he is just enjoying his fame by kicking others when they are down. Folks, once again, this is a form of bullying and Peer Abuse. Slander, the pictures, making fun of someone else and their problems. Where is the compassion? The support?
Recently, two ladies have created a blog entitled Perez Revenge where they are standing up to Perez and reporting facts about celebrities and not kicking them when they are down so to speak. As a result, Perez has gone the legal route and seeking damages in this. Why is it okay for Perez to slander celebrities but when the shoe is on the other foot, he seeks legal help? True, his home address did not need to be placed on the internet, however, that is not the issue at hand. The issue at hand is that these ladies are standing up to what I see is a bully and when someone does the same thing that he has done to many others, he reacts in typical abusive and bullying behavior; he reacts and threatens. A bully does not like for people to give them a dose of their own medicine. They get angry and react every time.
I wish these ladies well and commend them for their efforts. It is hard to bring down a bully and in my opinion, Perez comes across as a bully. If he cannot take the heat, he needs to stay out of the kitchen. What comes around goes around and Perez deserves what he is getting as far as I am concerned. Now he sees how it feels to be lied about, slandered and made fun of when the chips are down and he does not like it at all. Hopefully, he will change and for the better.
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Its Not All About Them!
I watched another Lifetime Movie this weekend. This one was entitled True Confessions Of A Hollywood Starlet which starred young pop star Joanna “JoJo” Levesque and television veteran and Jenny Craig Spokeswoman Valerie Bertinelli. The premise was about a young A-list teen star Morgan Carter (Levesque) who is an alcoholic and after a stint in rehab, was sent to live with her mothers long time friend “Aunt” Trudy (Bertinelli) in Fort Wayne, Indiana as part of her recovery process. She took on another identity as “Claudia Miller” in Indiana and attended a regular high school and required Alcoholics Anonymous meetings. At first, as with anyone in a new environment, adjustment was not easy but eventually, she came to appreciate this new life away from the spotlight and those who were there for her.
As this movie was a good one, those mean girls still had to make their presence known. In the lunchroom, the Queen Bee had to make some comment about Claudia’s clothes. Claudia, even though not the most socially up to date teen was able to stand up to her and put her in her place. Then, we see the two together in the gymnasium for a game of volleyball. Again, this wrenching queen had to slam the volleyball into Claudia’s stomach and again, after Claudia verbally went back to her and allowing her language to go a little far, was sent to the principals office. Needless to say, the queen was not sent to the office. This bothered me as both were in the wrong. I know it’s a small portion of the movie but why wasn’t Queen Bee sent for slamming the volleyball into Claudia’s stomach? Because like any other bully, she was able to fool everyone into believing her slamming the volleyball into her stomach was an “accident”. She should have been right behind Claudia in going to the principals office. This is far too common out there. The bully never seems to be punished while the other party always seems to suffer the consequences. This was not an outright case of bullying because Claudia did verbally come back at her. However, the queen not being punished is the point I am trying to make. She was just as much at fault as Claudia was. Folks, get both sides to a story before handing out punishment. Usually, it’s the bully that starts these tiffs in the first place.
It was nice that we only had a couple of scenes with this queen bee and her honeybees. They did not dominate the movie. We did not see them terrorize everyone around them. In other words, it was not all about them. Many times, Queen Bees have to have the center stage but in this movie, it was good to see the focus not on these mean girls but what became a nice teen and her caring Aunt instead. The kids in this movie were good kids. Of course, another antagonist emerged later in the movie but this was because of a feud over a boy and not everyone around them got involved. She did not spread vicious lies or make Claudia’s life unbearable. If the boy had not been in the picture, I am sure the girls would have gotten along well. Its all about noticing a real bully and what they are about.
This is one movie I recommend. I only wish this Queen Bee had been sent to the principal along with Claudia as she was the one who instigated the problem in the first place. If anyone sees this occurring, please get both sides of a story and see that both parties are punished fairly.
Resource cited: http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/movies/true-confessions-hollywood-starlet/cast
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/ .
As this movie was a good one, those mean girls still had to make their presence known. In the lunchroom, the Queen Bee had to make some comment about Claudia’s clothes. Claudia, even though not the most socially up to date teen was able to stand up to her and put her in her place. Then, we see the two together in the gymnasium for a game of volleyball. Again, this wrenching queen had to slam the volleyball into Claudia’s stomach and again, after Claudia verbally went back to her and allowing her language to go a little far, was sent to the principals office. Needless to say, the queen was not sent to the office. This bothered me as both were in the wrong. I know it’s a small portion of the movie but why wasn’t Queen Bee sent for slamming the volleyball into Claudia’s stomach? Because like any other bully, she was able to fool everyone into believing her slamming the volleyball into her stomach was an “accident”. She should have been right behind Claudia in going to the principals office. This is far too common out there. The bully never seems to be punished while the other party always seems to suffer the consequences. This was not an outright case of bullying because Claudia did verbally come back at her. However, the queen not being punished is the point I am trying to make. She was just as much at fault as Claudia was. Folks, get both sides to a story before handing out punishment. Usually, it’s the bully that starts these tiffs in the first place.
It was nice that we only had a couple of scenes with this queen bee and her honeybees. They did not dominate the movie. We did not see them terrorize everyone around them. In other words, it was not all about them. Many times, Queen Bees have to have the center stage but in this movie, it was good to see the focus not on these mean girls but what became a nice teen and her caring Aunt instead. The kids in this movie were good kids. Of course, another antagonist emerged later in the movie but this was because of a feud over a boy and not everyone around them got involved. She did not spread vicious lies or make Claudia’s life unbearable. If the boy had not been in the picture, I am sure the girls would have gotten along well. Its all about noticing a real bully and what they are about.
This is one movie I recommend. I only wish this Queen Bee had been sent to the principal along with Claudia as she was the one who instigated the problem in the first place. If anyone sees this occurring, please get both sides of a story and see that both parties are punished fairly.
Resource cited: http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/movies/true-confessions-hollywood-starlet/cast
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/ .
Saturday, August 09, 2008
As I got up this morning and went online to check the latest news, one of the first things I found was news about Megan Meier. For those who may not remember, Megan was the 13 year old girl in Missouri who committed bullycide (suicide by bullying) after she was dumped by a supposed 16 year old boy named “Josh” on the popular site My Space. It turned out that this 16 year old boy was really a woman pushing 50 named Lori Drew who was a neighbor and had a 13 year old daughter as well. Ms. Drew was posing as a 16 year old boy as she was trying to make sure that Megan was not trying to slander her daughter to others online. After the story broke last November, a blog surfaced online entitled Megan Had It Coming that was fueled with more abuse and slander towards Megan, her family and the situation itself. The blogger stated that he was Lori Drew. This blog fooled many and even made the news. This morning, I learn the real identity of the blogger is a 32 year old Washington State man named Jason Fortuny. Fortuny does not deny his actions and hides behind the freedom of speech in this. Also, he does not care what anyone thinks about him or his actions. His actions really hurt a lot of people but again, he does not care.
As traumatic as this story was for many, what made this man go a step further? What made Lori Drew devise the plan she did to pretend to be a 16 year old boy? One thing I do see in this and that is again, we are ignoring the root of the problem. The fact that we have consenting adults behaving like this is troubling. Is this a case of people having too much time on their hands or the possibility of adults with personality disorders? Both behaved in a pathological manner. Both should have had a child’s best interest at heart. Yet both crossed a line. If we have adults behaving like this, why are we so shocked when children are behaving as they do?
Its time to take this online impersonation problem seriously. You visit social sites like My Space and Facebook and see young favorites like Zac Efron, Chad Michael Murray, Lindsey Lohan and others who have a page on there and guess what? They talk to their fans! Or, people are on there viciously attacking one another and doing so under false identity. After fooling people with these actions and much abuse, it comes out that the person behind the page was not really Zac, Chad or Lindsey but a cyber bully wanting to make problems for others just for fun. Or, kids from the same school spreading lies and making vicious pages about their peers. Some even go as far as being adult predators. Now we have a suburban mom and a bored man pulling the same games. What is the result of all of this? A lot of pain, hurt and psychological trauma ensue for the victims. A young girl kills herself. Then we have those who impersonate, lie and do all of this for their own entertainment. Something is definitely wrong when the welfare of others is at stake and at the hands of people who behave and enable this problem. Or, like Mr. Fortuny, they just don’t care.
Lori Drew is dealing with legal ramifications in Los Angeles and is trying to keep a not guilty plea. What will happen to Mr. Fortuny? Can he hide behind the freedom of speech forever? Why do they feel they have done no wrong? One thing I can say is that this is how a bully operates. Until these sites take the bullying and peer abuse problem seriously, these problems will continue to exist. The innocent will fall and the guilty will rise. At the end of the day, that mind set is pathetic.
Source Cited: http://www.myfoxstl.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=7162749&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
As traumatic as this story was for many, what made this man go a step further? What made Lori Drew devise the plan she did to pretend to be a 16 year old boy? One thing I do see in this and that is again, we are ignoring the root of the problem. The fact that we have consenting adults behaving like this is troubling. Is this a case of people having too much time on their hands or the possibility of adults with personality disorders? Both behaved in a pathological manner. Both should have had a child’s best interest at heart. Yet both crossed a line. If we have adults behaving like this, why are we so shocked when children are behaving as they do?
Its time to take this online impersonation problem seriously. You visit social sites like My Space and Facebook and see young favorites like Zac Efron, Chad Michael Murray, Lindsey Lohan and others who have a page on there and guess what? They talk to their fans! Or, people are on there viciously attacking one another and doing so under false identity. After fooling people with these actions and much abuse, it comes out that the person behind the page was not really Zac, Chad or Lindsey but a cyber bully wanting to make problems for others just for fun. Or, kids from the same school spreading lies and making vicious pages about their peers. Some even go as far as being adult predators. Now we have a suburban mom and a bored man pulling the same games. What is the result of all of this? A lot of pain, hurt and psychological trauma ensue for the victims. A young girl kills herself. Then we have those who impersonate, lie and do all of this for their own entertainment. Something is definitely wrong when the welfare of others is at stake and at the hands of people who behave and enable this problem. Or, like Mr. Fortuny, they just don’t care.
Lori Drew is dealing with legal ramifications in Los Angeles and is trying to keep a not guilty plea. What will happen to Mr. Fortuny? Can he hide behind the freedom of speech forever? Why do they feel they have done no wrong? One thing I can say is that this is how a bully operates. Until these sites take the bullying and peer abuse problem seriously, these problems will continue to exist. The innocent will fall and the guilty will rise. At the end of the day, that mind set is pathetic.
Source Cited: http://www.myfoxstl.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=7162749&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info .
Tuesday, August 05, 2008
McKinney North High School and The Texas Cheerleading Scandal
As I was sitting down and watching television on Saturday evening, I happened to stumble upon a movie on Lifetime entitled The Fab Five: The Texas Cheerleading Scandal. The movie was based upon a true story that occurred at McKinney North High School in Mckinney, Texas where five cheerleaders (dubbed themselves the Fab Five) were able to get away with all sorts of bullying of their teachers and fellow students. The Principal, Linda Theret, was the mother of one of the girls on the squad. This problem kept occurring until a new Cheerleading Coach, Michaela Ward, came and stood up to the school and the school district. She tried to discipline these girls but to no avail. These girls not only terrorized the school, they also committed such acts as making a sexually explicit video and posted it on My Space while in uniform in a condom store and holding bottles of alcohol. When the story broke and made national news, Ms. Ward was told she was “emotional” and “in need of meds” and was fired from her job as a result of her trying to do the right thing and discipline these girls. However, the investigators also faulted Ms. Theret and other school officials for not enforcing discipline and allowing these girls to get away with so much. The Principal was eventually dismissed from her job and the girls were dismissed from the school. I have no idea what ever happened to these girls but being removed from school was a step in the right direction.
This is a serious problem in our nation. Daily I hear from angry parents who have children being bullied in school by their peers and nothing is ever done to remedy the problem. Many cases are swept under the rug and the bully has carte blanche on everyone and everything around them without consequences. It may not always be a Mckinney North High School situation but the problem is all in the same. Peer Abuse, bullying, misuse of power and its all there. They are quite the little charmers too. They know who to be sweet to and who to walk all over. They fool authority or walk all over them depending on how they can best manipulate the situation. Overall, they make life a living hell for everyone around them.
It is high time these schools get educated. Stop burring their heads in the sand and allow this problem to fester. Ms. Ward laid blame on the adults in the situation but I also blame the students. These girls were seniors in high school and a few short months heading into the real world. They were most certainly old enough to know right from wrong. However, as someone said “kids will be kids”. No, kids need discipline and need to abide by the rules and learn that consequences exist for a reason. That excuse is played out far too much if you ask me. Schools need to enforce these anti-bullying policies and stop the misuse of power not only in adults but in students as well. They need to take things more seriously and have programs on peer abuse and bullying on a regular basis. Incorporate bullying into the curriculum. I know a science teacher who finds a way to incorporate this into his daily lessons. Folks, it can be done.
Hopefully, someone out there learned something from this movie. Again, I have no idea what ever happened to all of the players involved but I do hope McKinney North cleared up its policies and enforced discipline on all without the favoritism and exceptions in anyone.
Source: http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/movies/fab-five-texas-cheerleader-scandal
Elizabeth Bennett is the Author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
This is a serious problem in our nation. Daily I hear from angry parents who have children being bullied in school by their peers and nothing is ever done to remedy the problem. Many cases are swept under the rug and the bully has carte blanche on everyone and everything around them without consequences. It may not always be a Mckinney North High School situation but the problem is all in the same. Peer Abuse, bullying, misuse of power and its all there. They are quite the little charmers too. They know who to be sweet to and who to walk all over. They fool authority or walk all over them depending on how they can best manipulate the situation. Overall, they make life a living hell for everyone around them.
It is high time these schools get educated. Stop burring their heads in the sand and allow this problem to fester. Ms. Ward laid blame on the adults in the situation but I also blame the students. These girls were seniors in high school and a few short months heading into the real world. They were most certainly old enough to know right from wrong. However, as someone said “kids will be kids”. No, kids need discipline and need to abide by the rules and learn that consequences exist for a reason. That excuse is played out far too much if you ask me. Schools need to enforce these anti-bullying policies and stop the misuse of power not only in adults but in students as well. They need to take things more seriously and have programs on peer abuse and bullying on a regular basis. Incorporate bullying into the curriculum. I know a science teacher who finds a way to incorporate this into his daily lessons. Folks, it can be done.
Hopefully, someone out there learned something from this movie. Again, I have no idea what ever happened to all of the players involved but I do hope McKinney North cleared up its policies and enforced discipline on all without the favoritism and exceptions in anyone.
Source: http://www.mylifetime.com/on-tv/movies/fab-five-texas-cheerleader-scandal
Elizabeth Bennett is the Author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Peer Abuse & Relational Aggression
Hi, I know……I have been gone for a week. Well, maybe more than a week. However, my mother came to visit me for mothers day and am just getting back in the swing of things.
Ah, a workshop on Relational Aggression. Again, many kudos to Susan Fee of the New Jersey shore area for getting this up and getting educated on this serious subject. She will be working with some local Girl Scouts in this. If there is a group that this problem exists in, its Girl Scouts. I know because for six weeks in the second grade, I was enrolled in the Brownie Troop and hated every bit of it. I never felt included and always felt isolated. Its that ole “you cannot play with us or be our friend”. I know….I know…..kids stuff. Well, this “kids stuff” really hurt and I begged to get out of it. FINALLY my mother gave in and let me quit. Who needed that crap?
Relational aggression is the “mean girls” and “girl on girl peer abuse”. It starts early folks. As young as preschool. This exclusion has always been considered “kids being kids” yet we wonder why in our society, the behavior of kids is bad and grows worse into adulthood? Well, if we would STOP ENABLING IT and start teaching early on that this behavior is hurtful and not acceptable then MAYBE we will start to see change. By saying this isolation is “kids stuff” is teaching these girls that its okay to exclude others and make them feel bad. Its okay to taunt others and make them feel bad.
I experienced relational aggression most of my life and still do. It still exists! Its not just in girls and tweens, its in grown women as well. I do a LOT of observing and see it alive and well in women and even men have their hands in it. They bring it to work and do things such as leaving others out of lunch invites, circulate emails and nasty notes and spread lies about others. Forming cliques is not uncommon either. You have your in-crowd and the hangers on who will do anything to become members of this elite group. They frequent message boards and use this by ignoring some members, going to pm’s to spread lies, always confront in mob mentalities…..its endless. What saddens me is that as adults they should know better yet this is all any of them really know. Some have been conditioned into being queen bees while others have fallen into the sidekick, banker and other dysfunctional social roles out there. They were never taught any different and now, they bring what they know to the world.
Its time to get serious about this girl on girl crime. The lies, cliques, in-crowds…..it needs to stop. Women, get an education……see what you can do about changing your own social roles out there if you have fallen into any of them. Get your daughters in these workshops so they learn early on the dangers in all of this. The formative years are crucial and we need to start educating. Kudos to Susan Fee for taking that step. Kudos to Tami McCandlish, Rachel Simmons, Dreamsinger and others out there who are working on this and trying to make a difference. Keep doing what you are doing!
As for the psychology in this, the scars can last a lifetime. The social anxiety, post traumatic stress, depression…..nothing saddens me more than to hear of a seven year old girl being diagnosed with clinical depression due to this horrific problem. It happens folks, I have lived it and continue to see it firsthand. Life is cruel, sure. Its hard and we are always going to have to face hurtles. However, with this, do we need to add to the stress that already exists out there? If you see this occurring in young girls, let them know its wrong to exclude others.
The steps in changing the world start with a random act of kindness. We can all make a difference one day at a time with this step. Something to think about….
Source: http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/GETPUBLISHED/805160480/-1/HOMETOWNS
Elizabeth Bennett is a Consultant and Author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
Ah, a workshop on Relational Aggression. Again, many kudos to Susan Fee of the New Jersey shore area for getting this up and getting educated on this serious subject. She will be working with some local Girl Scouts in this. If there is a group that this problem exists in, its Girl Scouts. I know because for six weeks in the second grade, I was enrolled in the Brownie Troop and hated every bit of it. I never felt included and always felt isolated. Its that ole “you cannot play with us or be our friend”. I know….I know…..kids stuff. Well, this “kids stuff” really hurt and I begged to get out of it. FINALLY my mother gave in and let me quit. Who needed that crap?
Relational aggression is the “mean girls” and “girl on girl peer abuse”. It starts early folks. As young as preschool. This exclusion has always been considered “kids being kids” yet we wonder why in our society, the behavior of kids is bad and grows worse into adulthood? Well, if we would STOP ENABLING IT and start teaching early on that this behavior is hurtful and not acceptable then MAYBE we will start to see change. By saying this isolation is “kids stuff” is teaching these girls that its okay to exclude others and make them feel bad. Its okay to taunt others and make them feel bad.
I experienced relational aggression most of my life and still do. It still exists! Its not just in girls and tweens, its in grown women as well. I do a LOT of observing and see it alive and well in women and even men have their hands in it. They bring it to work and do things such as leaving others out of lunch invites, circulate emails and nasty notes and spread lies about others. Forming cliques is not uncommon either. You have your in-crowd and the hangers on who will do anything to become members of this elite group. They frequent message boards and use this by ignoring some members, going to pm’s to spread lies, always confront in mob mentalities…..its endless. What saddens me is that as adults they should know better yet this is all any of them really know. Some have been conditioned into being queen bees while others have fallen into the sidekick, banker and other dysfunctional social roles out there. They were never taught any different and now, they bring what they know to the world.
Its time to get serious about this girl on girl crime. The lies, cliques, in-crowds…..it needs to stop. Women, get an education……see what you can do about changing your own social roles out there if you have fallen into any of them. Get your daughters in these workshops so they learn early on the dangers in all of this. The formative years are crucial and we need to start educating. Kudos to Susan Fee for taking that step. Kudos to Tami McCandlish, Rachel Simmons, Dreamsinger and others out there who are working on this and trying to make a difference. Keep doing what you are doing!
As for the psychology in this, the scars can last a lifetime. The social anxiety, post traumatic stress, depression…..nothing saddens me more than to hear of a seven year old girl being diagnosed with clinical depression due to this horrific problem. It happens folks, I have lived it and continue to see it firsthand. Life is cruel, sure. Its hard and we are always going to have to face hurtles. However, with this, do we need to add to the stress that already exists out there? If you see this occurring in young girls, let them know its wrong to exclude others.
The steps in changing the world start with a random act of kindness. We can all make a difference one day at a time with this step. Something to think about….
Source: http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/GETPUBLISHED/805160480/-1/HOMETOWNS
Elizabeth Bennett is a Consultant and Author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
Peer Abuse & Relational Aggression
Hi, I know……I have been gone for a week. Well, maybe more than a week. However, my mother came to visit me for mothers day and am just getting back in the swing of things.
Ah, a workshop on Relational Aggression. Again, many kudos to Susan Fee of the New Jersey shore area for getting this up and getting educated on this serious subject. She will be working with some local Girl Scouts in this. If there is a group that this problem exists in, its Girl Scouts. I know because for six weeks in the second grade, I was enrolled in the Brownie Troop and hated every bit of it. I never felt included and always felt isolated. Its that ole “you cannot play with us or be our friend”. I know….I know…..kids stuff. Well, this “kids stuff” really hurt and I begged to get out of it. FINALLY my mother gave in and let me quit. Who needed that crap?
Relational aggression is the “mean girls” and “girl on girl peer abuse”. It starts early folks. As young as preschool. This exclusion has always been considered “kids being kids” yet we wonder why in our society, the behavior of kids is bad and grows worse into adulthood? Well, if we would STOP ENABLING IT and start teaching early on that this behavior is hurtful and not acceptable then MAYBE we will start to see change. By saying this isolation is “kids stuff” is teaching these girls that its okay to exclude others and make them feel bad. Its okay to taunt others and make them feel bad.
I experienced relational aggression most of my life and still do. It still exists! Its not just in girls and tweens, its in grown women as well. I do a LOT of observing and see it alive and well in women and even men have their hands in it. They bring it to work and do things such as leaving others out of lunch invites, circulate emails and nasty notes and spread lies about others. Forming cliques is not uncommon either. You have your in-crowd and the hangers on who will do anything to become members of this elite group. They frequent message boards and use this by ignoring some members, going to pm’s to spread lies, always confront in mob mentalities…..its endless. What saddens me is that as adults they should know better yet this is all any of them really know. Some have been conditioned into being queen bees while others have fallen into the sidekick, banker and other dysfunctional social roles out there. They were never taught any different and now, they bring what they know to the world.
Its time to get serious about this girl on girl crime. The lies, cliques, in-crowds…..it needs to stop. Women, get an education……see what you can do about changing your own social roles out there if you have fallen into any of them. Get your daughters in these workshops so they learn early on the dangers in all of this. The formative years are crucial and we need to start educating. Kudos to Susan Fee for taking that step. Kudos to Tami McCandlish, Rachel Simmons, Dreamsinger and others out there who are working on this and trying to make a difference. Keep doing what you are doing!
As for the psychology in this, the scars can last a lifetime. The social anxiety, post traumatic stress, depression…..nothing saddens me more than to hear of a seven year old girl being diagnosed with clinical depression due to this horrific problem. It happens folks, I have lived it and continue to see it firsthand. Life is cruel, sure. Its hard and we are always going to have to face hurtles. However, with this, do we need to add to the stress that already exists out there? If you see this occurring in young girls, let them know its wrong to exclude others.
The steps in changing the world start with a random act of kindness. We can all make a difference one day at a time with this step. Something to think about….
Source: http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/GETPUBLISHED/805160480/-1/HOMETOWNS
Elizabeth Bennett is a Consultant and Author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
Ah, a workshop on Relational Aggression. Again, many kudos to Susan Fee of the New Jersey shore area for getting this up and getting educated on this serious subject. She will be working with some local Girl Scouts in this. If there is a group that this problem exists in, its Girl Scouts. I know because for six weeks in the second grade, I was enrolled in the Brownie Troop and hated every bit of it. I never felt included and always felt isolated. Its that ole “you cannot play with us or be our friend”. I know….I know…..kids stuff. Well, this “kids stuff” really hurt and I begged to get out of it. FINALLY my mother gave in and let me quit. Who needed that crap?
Relational aggression is the “mean girls” and “girl on girl peer abuse”. It starts early folks. As young as preschool. This exclusion has always been considered “kids being kids” yet we wonder why in our society, the behavior of kids is bad and grows worse into adulthood? Well, if we would STOP ENABLING IT and start teaching early on that this behavior is hurtful and not acceptable then MAYBE we will start to see change. By saying this isolation is “kids stuff” is teaching these girls that its okay to exclude others and make them feel bad. Its okay to taunt others and make them feel bad.
I experienced relational aggression most of my life and still do. It still exists! Its not just in girls and tweens, its in grown women as well. I do a LOT of observing and see it alive and well in women and even men have their hands in it. They bring it to work and do things such as leaving others out of lunch invites, circulate emails and nasty notes and spread lies about others. Forming cliques is not uncommon either. You have your in-crowd and the hangers on who will do anything to become members of this elite group. They frequent message boards and use this by ignoring some members, going to pm’s to spread lies, always confront in mob mentalities…..its endless. What saddens me is that as adults they should know better yet this is all any of them really know. Some have been conditioned into being queen bees while others have fallen into the sidekick, banker and other dysfunctional social roles out there. They were never taught any different and now, they bring what they know to the world.
Its time to get serious about this girl on girl crime. The lies, cliques, in-crowds…..it needs to stop. Women, get an education……see what you can do about changing your own social roles out there if you have fallen into any of them. Get your daughters in these workshops so they learn early on the dangers in all of this. The formative years are crucial and we need to start educating. Kudos to Susan Fee for taking that step. Kudos to Tami McCandlish, Rachel Simmons, Dreamsinger and others out there who are working on this and trying to make a difference. Keep doing what you are doing!
As for the psychology in this, the scars can last a lifetime. The social anxiety, post traumatic stress, depression…..nothing saddens me more than to hear of a seven year old girl being diagnosed with clinical depression due to this horrific problem. It happens folks, I have lived it and continue to see it firsthand. Life is cruel, sure. Its hard and we are always going to have to face hurtles. However, with this, do we need to add to the stress that already exists out there? If you see this occurring in young girls, let them know its wrong to exclude others.
The steps in changing the world start with a random act of kindness. We can all make a difference one day at a time with this step. Something to think about….
Source: http://www.app.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080516/GETPUBLISHED/805160480/-1/HOMETOWNS
Elizabeth Bennett is a Consultant and Author of Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info
Saturday, May 03, 2008
Peer Abuse News
Welcome to the latest edition of the first newsletter on Peer Abuse to grace the world wide web! This is a free quarterly publication that goes out to all continents of the world. Please feel free to share this with others.
In this edition:
GREAT NEWS
SPECIAL OFFER
PEER ABUSE AND THE NEIGHBOR
MORE NEWS AND TIDBITS ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
GREAT NEWS!
That's right, my book "Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From APsychological Perspective" is making news! On May 23, 2008, my bookwill be featured on CNBC radio. Someone is being interviewed onWorkplace Bullying and my book will be featured as a resource during this interview! I am so excited to say the least!
Also, A producer at Larry King is interested in my book and I sent him a copy this week. Please keep your fingers crossed that this gets picked up. So there is a chance I could go on Larry King Live. Will keep everyone posted.
Plus, my book was mentioned at the End Teacher Abuse meeting back in March. Thanks goes to Mimi Shapiro for her help. Thanks so much,Mimi!
Harold Cameron has also mentioned the book in a video and let folks know about it. Thanks Harold for all you have done!
Also, I have been blogging and doing some article writing on PeerAbuse online. So, I am getting the word out bit by bit. Just a day at a time…..I tell you, there has been a lot of press about thisstuff recently and we need to step up and speak out! Here is one place you can read more: http://www.peerabuse.blogspot.com/ and feel free to leave comments. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
SPECIAL OFFER FOR A LIMITED TIME
I have started selling my book to others on my own away from the publisher and other online places where it can be purchased. The cost is $16.44 ($13.95 + $2.49 postage). If you purchase a copy from me for a limited time, I will throw in a free phone consultation with it. A phone consultation can run up to $60 a hour but if you purchase my book directly from me, your phone consultation will be free. Free at what is a $60 value. This is for a limited time….a summer special and will end at the end of July. So, think about it and if you wish to purchase a book, please go to http://www.peerabuse.info/ and use the Pay Pal buttons on the site. Again, a limited time……so hurry! Please email me and let me know if you are interested!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
PEER ABUSE AND THE NEIGHBOR
Well, I know I try and focus on the school, workplace and psychology behind this problem of Peer Abuse. However, another place this canoccur is with a neighbor. Someone who lives across the street, next door, in the same apartment building…whatever. It makes doing anything seem strange and you try and do what you can to either avoid or get along with them so your living situation does not get dicey and drama filled. There is enough crap in this world already,why deal with it in or around your home? Some could argue that thisis more of a domestic issue. However, it is also a issue of peer abuse. It is something I am dealing with in my own life right now and I am sure many of you are also caught up in this. Whatever the case may be, it does warrant some attention here. Plus, a reader gave me this suggestion. So, I wanted to take a few minutes and focus on what to do in dealing with this.Are they making too much noise? Coming to visit 3 times a day? Spreading lies to other neighbors about you? Won't keep their toys out of your yard? Their pet is tearing up your flower garden? Want to know how much your Direct TV bill is each month? Have no concept of boundaries? Here are some general suggestions that may help. So far, I have been using them and they have been working for me.
1. Try to approach the neighbor tactfully and let them know what isbothering you. I say tactfully because full on attacks are going toput them on the defense and the problem will grow worse, not better. Maybe set up a time to go over and talk to them. Send them an email. Write out a note. If this is done in email or letter, save a copy for yourself so you have proof that you made the effort here. Again, make sure this is done with tact and understanding. Attacks breed attacks and before long, a small problem is the size of Godzilla. You do not want to let things get out of hand.
2. If you are wanting their stuff off of your property, possibly putup a fence right on the property line. It does not have to anything fancy; just something that will get the boundary set up so their pet or children will not destroy your property and visa versa.
3. Any lies spread, document the day you learned of them and the time. Also, the source that gave you this information. Any nasty notes left on your doorstep or emails? Save them also. Believe me, this can come in handy at some point.
4. Damage of any property: Call the police. Take pictures of thedamages. Let them bring forensics over to dust for fingerprints. Do NOT touch the damaged property on your own. That destroys evidence.
5. Any verbal stuff: Do what you can to get a tape recorder and hide it on you. They still make these tiny tape recorders and are very inexpensive. IF you have a video camera or cell phone with video on it, do what you can to get this recorded. You can hold a cell phone without them knowing you are filming them.
6. It gets physical: Again, pull out the cell. Video recording. Have someone who is home with you to get this on tape. Get pictures….take them to the police. Also, search You Tube, MySpace and other online sites where people love to put these sort of videos on there.
7. If your property is damaged, do NOT retaliate. You do this and it becomes a conflict and not an issue of peer abuse. Cover yourself in any way you can but do NOT retaliate. Otherwise, nobody will listen or help you because of retaliation.
8. Those who can help: Go to any homeowners group, Neighbor Watch, landlords, trustworthy neighbors, city or county council, any other local neighborhood affiliated groups. Go to the company that managesyour apartment, condo or trailer park. Whatever your living situation, there is an organization which has some authority and let them know what is going on. You can do this anonymously if need be. Go to city hall to see who can help you in this matter. Also, the police. They do nothing, go to their superior. Keep going up the chain of command. Some will try and pass the buck but do not let them.
9. If any of this is done on a continual basis, even after you have verbally or have put it in writing for them to stop and they don't, look into filing harassment charges. Put up "Keep Out" or "No Trespassing" signs and again, if they ignore them, get your documentation in order and look into pressing harassment charges and if there are threats, you can get a restraining order.
10. Again, everyone answers to someone. I know, some people keep going and have no respect for anyone else. They do as they please and ignore your signs and other things. Again, document….this documentation will help you at some point. I know it has been helping me in my situation. A great resource to learn more is a site here called "Neighbors From Hell". There are many links listed that can be helpful too. Bookmark this site and save it in your resources. http://www.borzotta.com/nfh/index.html
Again, do NOT retaliate as much as you want to. You do that thenthat gives them a reason to claim the same problems against you. Let them dig their own grave. Eventually, they will have themselves covered up without being able to get out. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
MORE NEWS AND TIDBITS
JEFFS BILL: Congrats to Debby Johnston and others behind this bill for getting it passed with a 40-0 vote in the Senate. This is a bill in Florida that we hope will become a law called "Jeff's Law". Debra lost her son to bullycide and is working hard to get peer abuse stopped in her area. GO DEBRA!
A MURDERED FRIEND: Ann Fox Smith who lived in Aiken South Carolinawas murdered last Friday in her home. I knew her when she lived inmy hometown and we were friends. If anyone reading this knew Ann oranything about her, please contact the police. Here is a link to herstory and sadly, this will probably remain in the media.http://www.wrdw.com/home/headlines/18295734.html . Contact info to the police is at the bottom of the article.
CONDOLENCES EXPRESSED: A great lady, Judy K. Beach who was affiliated with the International Women's Writers Guild recently passed away. There is a web log set up where people can offer condolences or words of comfort. Please check it out if any of youknew her or are affiliated with IWWG. http://judikbeach.blogspot.com/ .
WE WANT A CHASING CAIN III: Yes, there is a letter campaign going onto send to the Canadian Broadcasting Company (CBC) for them to makea Chasing Cain III movie. The first two were really good with an intriguing plot and wonderful actors. If you wish to learn more, a My Space page is set up http://www.myspace.com/wewantchasingcain3 or you can contact the CBC directly at /http://www.cbc.ca/contact/ and it only takes 5 minutes to write.
NEED TUPPERWARE?: Check out what my cousin Teresa has going on. http://my.tupperware.com/teresacoggins .
ESQUIRE BEST DRESSED MAN: A friend is running for this and is needing votes. Please, if you have time, vote for Norman for the Best Dressed Man for 2008. http://esquirebdrm.com/NormanD/529
NEED AVON?: My friend Jennifer is selling AVON. If you are interested in purchasing some of this, visit here:http://www.youravon.com/jenniferlarkins
MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS: Mothers Day is just around the corner and some of the folks at MS here on the Pacific Coast area are selling some items. Check them out if you are still looking for that perfect gift for your mother.http://blaster.shop2stopms.com/view_blast.cfm?blast_id=252
CALDWELL BANKER: In need of a new home or looking to purchase some property? Kris Alongi can help you out. Visit this link:http://www.coldwellbankercaine.com/agent_details.php?agent_id=184
THE DAUGHTER IN LAW RULES: Check out Sarah Jane Cions free newsletter. Great stuff!! http://www.thedilrules.com/
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY: These folks have a lot of summer reading material. Visit http://www.mail-family.org/ if interested.
THE GRANT INSTITUTE: They will be hosting a grant proposal writing workshop in Charleston, WV on July 14-16 2008. Visithttp://www.thegrantinstitute.com/ to learn how you can learn more.
DR PHIL: Dr Phil is needing a teenage guest for the fall. He wants someone who has and continues to be cyber bullied. You can email meat http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PeerAbuse/post?postID=zy6u7xTYhTC03U5LbvDFLSK83pm6V0eM-yFB38HtS6kWONQIJ1WWZ3g94uSv7baqBMRoG3hfAzXCZPO_ij8nQCsg30sd4g and I can tell you more.
BIOLOGICAL DIVERSITY: Global warming is affecting animals in arctic and cold climates. Please, visit this site and see how you can help.http://www.biologicaldiversity.org/
IRIDOLOGY: A new book entitled "Iridology: The Science and Practicein the Healing Arts" by Dr. Bernard Jensen. To obtain a copy, visit Whitman Books at http://www.wwhitman.com/
HAROLD CAMERON: Yup, the "Be Positive Guy" has a You Tube account where he makes videos on different subjects. This is someone whotries hard to make the world a better place. Please check out his videos here http://uk.youtube.com/user/haroldsays. He has made one on Peer Abuse and is doing a great job in getting the word out.
SAFETY ISSUES: Check these guys out! They have a newsletter and work hard in trying to keep kids safe. http://www.safetyissues.com/ and learn more!
SEEKING AN ATTORNEY: If you are in the process of seeking an Attorney, one place you may want to avoid is http://www.jurisdictionary.com/ . Recently, a friend of mine was scammed by these folks. To the tune of almost $300 and this was money she did not have to begin with. So, please be careful….do not allow yourself to be scammed out there.
DR CHARLOTTE: Recently, Dr. Charlotte published an article about children and the violence in the media and on the internet. Visit here to read the article:http://www.imageryforkids.com/art_imagination.asp
JUVENILLE JUSTICE: Check out what is going on at the Office ofJuvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ojjdp.
AUTISM: Do you have or know anyone dealing with autism? Check out this site for some great educational tools. http://www.nlconcepts.com/
NAMI: The National Alliance of the Mentally Ill will be holding awalk on October 4, 2008 in Orange County. More details to follow later…..
SOCIAL ANXIETY INSTITUTE: Once again, I promote this site. A great one for the Adult Survivor Of Peer Abuse: http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/
CHILD PREDATOR BUSTERS: Check these guys out! They are doing a LOTof good here online in catching predators on social web sites andother places. Go to this site: http://www.childpredatorbusters.org/
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE or EQ: Need certification? Trainings will be held throughout 2008 in Seattle, Washington. Go to this site to learn more: http://www.learninginaction.com/
THE COMMON BOND INSTITUTE: On September 4-8, they will be hosting a Engaging The Other Conference in San Francisco, CA. Visit this linkto learn more: http://www.cbiworld.org/Pages/Conferences_ETO.htm
ASSOCIATION FOR HUMANISTIC PSYCHOLOGY: Check these guys out! They have a jam packed summer with conferences, workshops and other great stuff going on. Visit http://www.ahpweb.org/ and see what they have going on!
HELPFUL MATERIALS: If you have time, please visit the folks at Psychotherapy dot net. They have many new and great materials inbooks, DVD's and other products.http://www.psychotherapy.net/
BEING ABUSED BY THE SCHOOLS? Check out this great group!http://www.endteacherabuse.org/ to learn more. Also, check out their video on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3JoiniKNq8
BOOK ON HUMANISTIC PSYCHOLOGY: Recently, a book was published for the purpose of making third force psychology (broadly construed) a stronger presence in child developmental theorizing. The book, Humanizing Child Developmental Theory: A Holistic Approach. This text utilizes ideas from Rogers, Horney, Winnicott, Kohut, Bühler,Knowles, Stern, Schachtel, Koffka and others.http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/results.asp WRD=Humanizing+Child+Developmental+Theory&z=y
Have anything you wish to share? Email me and will include it in the next edition . ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This is it for the May newsletter. August is "readers choice" and am interested in what you as the reader wish to have here in the newsletter. Please email your ideas to me and will do what I can to do a lesson on it. Thanks for reading….see you all in August! Til then…..have a great and safe summer!
Regards,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info/
Elizabeth Bennett. Copyright © 2008 All Rights Reserved.
In this edition:
GREAT NEWS
SPECIAL OFFER
PEER ABUSE AND THE NEIGHBOR
MORE NEWS AND TIDBITS ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
GREAT NEWS!
That's right, my book "Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From APsychological Perspective" is making news! On May 23, 2008, my bookwill be featured on CNBC radio. Someone is being interviewed onWorkplace Bullying and my book will be featured as a resource during this interview! I am so excited to say the least!
Also, A producer at Larry King is interested in my book and I sent him a copy this week. Please keep your fingers crossed that this gets picked up. So there is a chance I could go on Larry King Live. Will keep everyone posted.
Plus, my book was mentioned at the End Teacher Abuse meeting back in March. Thanks goes to Mimi Shapiro for her help. Thanks so much,Mimi!
Harold Cameron has also mentioned the book in a video and let folks know about it. Thanks Harold for all you have done!
Also, I have been blogging and doing some article writing on PeerAbuse online. So, I am getting the word out bit by bit. Just a day at a time…..I tell you, there has been a lot of press about thisstuff recently and we need to step up and speak out! Here is one place you can read more: http://www.peerabuse.blogspot.com/ and feel free to leave comments. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
SPECIAL OFFER FOR A LIMITED TIME
I have started selling my book to others on my own away from the publisher and other online places where it can be purchased. The cost is $16.44 ($13.95 + $2.49 postage). If you purchase a copy from me for a limited time, I will throw in a free phone consultation with it. A phone consultation can run up to $60 a hour but if you purchase my book directly from me, your phone consultation will be free. Free at what is a $60 value. This is for a limited time….a summer special and will end at the end of July. So, think about it and if you wish to purchase a book, please go to http://www.peerabuse.info/ and use the Pay Pal buttons on the site. Again, a limited time……so hurry! Please email me and let me know if you are interested!~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
PEER ABUSE AND THE NEIGHBOR
Well, I know I try and focus on the school, workplace and psychology behind this problem of Peer Abuse. However, another place this canoccur is with a neighbor. Someone who lives across the street, next door, in the same apartment building…whatever. It makes doing anything seem strange and you try and do what you can to either avoid or get along with them so your living situation does not get dicey and drama filled. There is enough crap in this world already,why deal with it in or around your home? Some could argue that thisis more of a domestic issue. However, it is also a issue of peer abuse. It is something I am dealing with in my own life right now and I am sure many of you are also caught up in this. Whatever the case may be, it does warrant some attention here. Plus, a reader gave me this suggestion. So, I wanted to take a few minutes and focus on what to do in dealing with this.Are they making too much noise? Coming to visit 3 times a day? Spreading lies to other neighbors about you? Won't keep their toys out of your yard? Their pet is tearing up your flower garden? Want to know how much your Direct TV bill is each month? Have no concept of boundaries? Here are some general suggestions that may help. So far, I have been using them and they have been working for me.
1. Try to approach the neighbor tactfully and let them know what isbothering you. I say tactfully because full on attacks are going toput them on the defense and the problem will grow worse, not better. Maybe set up a time to go over and talk to them. Send them an email. Write out a note. If this is done in email or letter, save a copy for yourself so you have proof that you made the effort here. Again, make sure this is done with tact and understanding. Attacks breed attacks and before long, a small problem is the size of Godzilla. You do not want to let things get out of hand.
2. If you are wanting their stuff off of your property, possibly putup a fence right on the property line. It does not have to anything fancy; just something that will get the boundary set up so their pet or children will not destroy your property and visa versa.
3. Any lies spread, document the day you learned of them and the time. Also, the source that gave you this information. Any nasty notes left on your doorstep or emails? Save them also. Believe me, this can come in handy at some point.
4. Damage of any property: Call the police. Take pictures of thedamages. Let them bring forensics over to dust for fingerprints. Do NOT touch the damaged property on your own. That destroys evidence.
5. Any verbal stuff: Do what you can to get a tape recorder and hide it on you. They still make these tiny tape recorders and are very inexpensive. IF you have a video camera or cell phone with video on it, do what you can to get this recorded. You can hold a cell phone without them knowing you are filming them.
6. It gets physical: Again, pull out the cell. Video recording. Have someone who is home with you to get this on tape. Get pictures….take them to the police. Also, search You Tube, MySpace and other online sites where people love to put these sort of videos on there.
7. If your property is damaged, do NOT retaliate. You do this and it becomes a conflict and not an issue of peer abuse. Cover yourself in any way you can but do NOT retaliate. Otherwise, nobody will listen or help you because of retaliation.
8. Those who can help: Go to any homeowners group, Neighbor Watch, landlords, trustworthy neighbors, city or county council, any other local neighborhood affiliated groups. Go to the company that managesyour apartment, condo or trailer park. Whatever your living situation, there is an organization which has some authority and let them know what is going on. You can do this anonymously if need be. Go to city hall to see who can help you in this matter. Also, the police. They do nothing, go to their superior. Keep going up the chain of command. Some will try and pass the buck but do not let them.
9. If any of this is done on a continual basis, even after you have verbally or have put it in writing for them to stop and they don't, look into filing harassment charges. Put up "Keep Out" or "No Trespassing" signs and again, if they ignore them, get your documentation in order and look into pressing harassment charges and if there are threats, you can get a restraining order.
10. Again, everyone answers to someone. I know, some people keep going and have no respect for anyone else. They do as they please and ignore your signs and other things. Again, document….this documentation will help you at some point. I know it has been helping me in my situation. A great resource to learn more is a site here called "Neighbors From Hell". There are many links listed that can be helpful too. Bookmark this site and save it in your resources. http://www.borzotta.com/nfh/index.html
Again, do NOT retaliate as much as you want to. You do that thenthat gives them a reason to claim the same problems against you. Let them dig their own grave. Eventually, they will have themselves covered up without being able to get out. ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
MORE NEWS AND TIDBITS
JEFFS BILL: Congrats to Debby Johnston and others behind this bill for getting it passed with a 40-0 vote in the Senate. This is a bill in Florida that we hope will become a law called "Jeff's Law". Debra lost her son to bullycide and is working hard to get peer abuse stopped in her area. GO DEBRA!
A MURDERED FRIEND: Ann Fox Smith who lived in Aiken South Carolinawas murdered last Friday in her home. I knew her when she lived inmy hometown and we were friends. If anyone reading this knew Ann oranything about her, please contact the police. Here is a link to herstory and sadly, this will probably remain in the media.http://www.wrdw.com/home/headlines/18295734.html . Contact info to the police is at the bottom of the article.
CONDOLENCES EXPRESSED: A great lady, Judy K. Beach who was affiliated with the International Women's Writers Guild recently passed away. There is a web log set up where people can offer condolences or words of comfort. Please check it out if any of youknew her or are affiliated with IWWG. http://judikbeach.blogspot.com/ .
WE WANT A CHASING CAIN III: Yes, there is a letter campaign going onto send to the Canadian Broadcasting Company (CBC) for them to makea Chasing Cain III movie. The first two were really good with an intriguing plot and wonderful actors. If you wish to learn more, a My Space page is set up http://www.myspace.com/wewantchasingcain3 or you can contact the CBC directly at /http://www.cbc.ca/contact/ and it only takes 5 minutes to write.
NEED TUPPERWARE?: Check out what my cousin Teresa has going on. http://my.tupperware.com/teresacoggins .
ESQUIRE BEST DRESSED MAN: A friend is running for this and is needing votes. Please, if you have time, vote for Norman for the Best Dressed Man for 2008. http://esquirebdrm.com/NormanD/529
NEED AVON?: My friend Jennifer is selling AVON. If you are interested in purchasing some of this, visit here:http://www.youravon.com/jenniferlarkins
MULTIPLE SCLEROSIS: Mothers Day is just around the corner and some of the folks at MS here on the Pacific Coast area are selling some items. Check them out if you are still looking for that perfect gift for your mother.http://blaster.shop2stopms.com/view_blast.cfm?blast_id=252
CALDWELL BANKER: In need of a new home or looking to purchase some property? Kris Alongi can help you out. Visit this link:http://www.coldwellbankercaine.com/agent_details.php?agent_id=184
THE DAUGHTER IN LAW RULES: Check out Sarah Jane Cions free newsletter. Great stuff!! http://www.thedilrules.com/
FOCUS ON THE FAMILY: These folks have a lot of summer reading material. Visit http://www.mail-family.org/ if interested.
THE GRANT INSTITUTE: They will be hosting a grant proposal writing workshop in Charleston, WV on July 14-16 2008. Visithttp://www.thegrantinstitute.com/ to learn how you can learn more.
DR PHIL: Dr Phil is needing a teenage guest for the fall. He wants someone who has and continues to be cyber bullied. You can email meat http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/PeerAbuse/post?postID=zy6u7xTYhTC03U5LbvDFLSK83pm6V0eM-yFB38HtS6kWONQIJ1WWZ3g94uSv7baqBMRoG3hfAzXCZPO_ij8nQCsg30sd4g and I can tell you more.
BIOLOGICAL DIVERSITY: Global warming is affecting animals in arctic and cold climates. Please, visit this site and see how you can help.http://www.biologicaldiversity.org/
IRIDOLOGY: A new book entitled "Iridology: The Science and Practicein the Healing Arts" by Dr. Bernard Jensen. To obtain a copy, visit Whitman Books at http://www.wwhitman.com/
HAROLD CAMERON: Yup, the "Be Positive Guy" has a You Tube account where he makes videos on different subjects. This is someone whotries hard to make the world a better place. Please check out his videos here http://uk.youtube.com/user/haroldsays. He has made one on Peer Abuse and is doing a great job in getting the word out.
SAFETY ISSUES: Check these guys out! They have a newsletter and work hard in trying to keep kids safe. http://www.safetyissues.com/ and learn more!
SEEKING AN ATTORNEY: If you are in the process of seeking an Attorney, one place you may want to avoid is http://www.jurisdictionary.com/ . Recently, a friend of mine was scammed by these folks. To the tune of almost $300 and this was money she did not have to begin with. So, please be careful….do not allow yourself to be scammed out there.
DR CHARLOTTE: Recently, Dr. Charlotte published an article about children and the violence in the media and on the internet. Visit here to read the article:http://www.imageryforkids.com/art_imagination.asp
JUVENILLE JUSTICE: Check out what is going on at the Office ofJuvenile Justice and Delinquency Prevention. http://www.ojp.usdoj.gov/ojjdp.
AUTISM: Do you have or know anyone dealing with autism? Check out this site for some great educational tools. http://www.nlconcepts.com/
NAMI: The National Alliance of the Mentally Ill will be holding awalk on October 4, 2008 in Orange County. More details to follow later…..
SOCIAL ANXIETY INSTITUTE: Once again, I promote this site. A great one for the Adult Survivor Of Peer Abuse: http://www.socialanxietyinstitute.org/
CHILD PREDATOR BUSTERS: Check these guys out! They are doing a LOTof good here online in catching predators on social web sites andother places. Go to this site: http://www.childpredatorbusters.org/
EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE or EQ: Need certification? Trainings will be held throughout 2008 in Seattle, Washington. Go to this site to learn more: http://www.learninginaction.com/
THE COMMON BOND INSTITUTE: On September 4-8, they will be hosting a Engaging The Other Conference in San Francisco, CA. Visit this linkto learn more: http://www.cbiworld.org/Pages/Conferences_ETO.htm
ASSOCIATION FOR HUMANISTIC PSYCHOLOGY: Check these guys out! They have a jam packed summer with conferences, workshops and other great stuff going on. Visit http://www.ahpweb.org/ and see what they have going on!
HELPFUL MATERIALS: If you have time, please visit the folks at Psychotherapy dot net. They have many new and great materials inbooks, DVD's and other products.http://www.psychotherapy.net/
BEING ABUSED BY THE SCHOOLS? Check out this great group!http://www.endteacherabuse.org/ to learn more. Also, check out their video on You Tube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3JoiniKNq8
BOOK ON HUMANISTIC PSYCHOLOGY: Recently, a book was published for the purpose of making third force psychology (broadly construed) a stronger presence in child developmental theorizing. The book, Humanizing Child Developmental Theory: A Holistic Approach. This text utilizes ideas from Rogers, Horney, Winnicott, Kohut, Bühler,Knowles, Stern, Schachtel, Koffka and others.http://search.barnesandnoble.com/booksearch/results.asp WRD=Humanizing+Child+Developmental+Theory&z=y
Have anything you wish to share? Email me and will include it in the next edition . ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
This is it for the May newsletter. August is "readers choice" and am interested in what you as the reader wish to have here in the newsletter. Please email your ideas to me and will do what I can to do a lesson on it. Thanks for reading….see you all in August! Til then…..have a great and safe summer!
Regards,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info/
Elizabeth Bennett. Copyright © 2008 All Rights Reserved.
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Hello! Its another week and sadly, more drama amongst us. Many stories in the news about Peer Abuse and one that has really gotten my goat. There has been talk about peanut allergies and peer abuse. I am not sure how many are aware of this but those who have peanut allergies can die if consuming or even being around peanuts, peanut butter or anything with this in it. Its lethal and dangerous. Yet, these bullies now use this as a weapon in bringing more harm to their victims. I tell you what and have said it many times, we are a nation growing without a conscience and as far as I am concerned, this is criminal behavior. Also, I consider this attempted murder. Sure, I am probably coming off as over zealous in my thoughts here but dangit if it walks like a duck….talks like a duck…..need I say more?
There was an incident with a 14 year old girl with peanut allergies and a group of girls she had known most of her life. They were friends until recently when these girls decided she could not sit at their lunch table any longer. How did they decide to get rid of her and shut her out? Bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school! Okay, if these girls had grown up with her and knew her, they would know about her peanut allergies and the dangers of it. They had planned this together and one girl, with a bout of conscience, warned the girl with the allergies. If this was not bad enough, she walked into class one day and someone had a jar of peanut butter. When she came in, they opened it up and sadly, the girl had a reaction and had to go to the hospital for four days. Thank goodness she was able to get through it. What has gotten me is that the girl told the school about the kids and the lunch table and the school did NOTHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!! Well, until after the fact and the girl went to the hospital they decided to do something. Now, the school has to treat this as a disability and under the 504 laws, there can be no peanut butter within the vicinity of this girl.
Do the schools realize that if this girl had died, they would have really been in trouble? Why is it that it takes actually seeing something to believe it? The school KNEW about these allergies and should have acted before it got out of hand like this. In the article, someone stated that kids do not realize the real danger in these sort of things. Excuse me? These girls grew up with the victim and were probably well aware of the dangers of peanut allergies yet “they were not thinking of the real dangers?” It is well documented that kids pass away from this. I get tired of this problem being swept under the rug. If bullycide is not bad enough, NOW we are going into homicide. Yes folks, intentionally bringing harm to someone, and in this case peanut butter, this is homicide!
My point in all of this is that despite them being underage, this was done with malicious and criminal intent and bullies are your criminals. Peer Abuse is not just “kids stuff”. Not only was this attempted homicide, but of course, good ole Relational Aggression. Yeah, you know the girl on girl stuff. The Queen Bee crap….but of course, I am sure nobody tried to investigate this or try to help until after the fact as “this is just kids stuff and it will blow over“. Kids at 13 and 14 may be testy but they certainly know the difference in right and wrong. Bringing peanut butter around someone who could die from it is wrong and again, attempted homicide. I wish these girls would be charged as such but my guess is they only got detention or were told “now don’t ever do that again, okay”. If it were me and I had a child like this, I would have pressed charges. Taken these abusers straight to the bank!
Thanks for reading.
Source:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/AllergiesNews/story?id=4659705&page=1
There was an incident with a 14 year old girl with peanut allergies and a group of girls she had known most of her life. They were friends until recently when these girls decided she could not sit at their lunch table any longer. How did they decide to get rid of her and shut her out? Bring peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to school! Okay, if these girls had grown up with her and knew her, they would know about her peanut allergies and the dangers of it. They had planned this together and one girl, with a bout of conscience, warned the girl with the allergies. If this was not bad enough, she walked into class one day and someone had a jar of peanut butter. When she came in, they opened it up and sadly, the girl had a reaction and had to go to the hospital for four days. Thank goodness she was able to get through it. What has gotten me is that the girl told the school about the kids and the lunch table and the school did NOTHING ABOUT IT!!!!!!! Well, until after the fact and the girl went to the hospital they decided to do something. Now, the school has to treat this as a disability and under the 504 laws, there can be no peanut butter within the vicinity of this girl.
Do the schools realize that if this girl had died, they would have really been in trouble? Why is it that it takes actually seeing something to believe it? The school KNEW about these allergies and should have acted before it got out of hand like this. In the article, someone stated that kids do not realize the real danger in these sort of things. Excuse me? These girls grew up with the victim and were probably well aware of the dangers of peanut allergies yet “they were not thinking of the real dangers?” It is well documented that kids pass away from this. I get tired of this problem being swept under the rug. If bullycide is not bad enough, NOW we are going into homicide. Yes folks, intentionally bringing harm to someone, and in this case peanut butter, this is homicide!
My point in all of this is that despite them being underage, this was done with malicious and criminal intent and bullies are your criminals. Peer Abuse is not just “kids stuff”. Not only was this attempted homicide, but of course, good ole Relational Aggression. Yeah, you know the girl on girl stuff. The Queen Bee crap….but of course, I am sure nobody tried to investigate this or try to help until after the fact as “this is just kids stuff and it will blow over“. Kids at 13 and 14 may be testy but they certainly know the difference in right and wrong. Bringing peanut butter around someone who could die from it is wrong and again, attempted homicide. I wish these girls would be charged as such but my guess is they only got detention or were told “now don’t ever do that again, okay”. If it were me and I had a child like this, I would have pressed charges. Taken these abusers straight to the bank!
Thanks for reading.
Source:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/AllergiesNews/story?id=4659705&page=1
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Victoria Lindsay and Peer Abuse
Hello, I know, have not blogged in a couple of weeks. That’s my bad as I was working away from the computer. I am now back and let me tell you, the info I am getting on bullying has me nothing more than peeved to a tea. Oh yeah, Elizabeth Bennett is ANGRY! MAD! TIRED OF THE PEER ABUSE!!!!!!!!
I am well aware of the Victoria Lindsay case. The one in Florida where six teens “jumped” her and caught it on tape to put on My Space and You Tube. Yeah, this is the latest trend in peer abuse; taping assaults and getting them on these sites for everyone to see. Like some prize, you know? Are you aware that with psycho and sociopath, they ALSO look for rewards in their dirty deeds? Many times they will keep a souvenir from the assault. So, I guess this is the “reward” for these criminals in training, huh? Oh I know, its only kids and only bullying …forgive me for overreacting here as calling it abuse is just an exageration. Note the sarcasm in the last sentence. *rolling eyes*
Well, someone finally FINALLY did something right! Yup, those bullies were arrested and put in jail and I rejoiced. YES! A bully is FINALLY paying his dues! However, they screwed up again in my opinion as they are now on house arrest. House arrest? How sweet….now they can stay home and go online, play video games, text their friends and create more useless crap. Boy, I wish I had been punished this way growing up! What really takes the cake is that someone from the Dr. Phil show has bailed one of the bullies out! YES! Now I thought Good ole Phil was against bullying?
I heard the 911 call Victoria made. Describing the side of her head being hurt and blood all over her mouth. I also saw the video which was equally disturbing. The girl in pain and a group of bullies making it worse. I know there is a gag order on this case and can only learn so much about it. I say remove that gag and let it all go……get it out there and keep it real. Keep us abreast of what is going on and get these bullies back in jail. They need to understand that they did wrong and having Dr Phil bail them out of jail is NOT teaching them anything!
Oh and it gets worse…..now these bogus support pages are being set up online. Yeah, they are doing this for notoriety and not with concern for Victoria. Plus, sites are asking for money on behalf of Victoria and her family. Yup, more embezzlement on My Space and other places. Of course, nothing is going to be done I am sure. Yet the police say they are looking into it. Really? I figured these criminals would be rewarded in some way as well. You know, more house arrest or maybe a guest stint on a talk show?
Yes, this is full of sarcasm but you know, someone FINALLY did the right thing in all of this and that was putting the bullies behind bars where they belong. However, they moved them to house arrest. I am sure house arrest is not easy either but at least they are at home with access to the same stuff that started this whole mess. Plus, one gets help from Dr. Phil! The best thing that could help these kids is time in jail. Yes, let them take responsibility here. I know, they are “just kids” but are old enough to know right from wrong. Old enough to know that beating someone to a pulp and putting it online is wrong. Old enough to know all of this is wrong and until they are accepting any sort of responsibility, it is not going to register. So, if I am coming off as sarcastic, I have a damned good reason to. WHEN IS THIS GOING TO STOP??? WHEN ARE WE GOING TO STOP REWARDING AND SENSATIONALIZING BAD BEHAVIOR??? One of these kids faces life in prison? Really? I will believe it when I see it.
In the meantime, I am disgusted. Sickened and most of all, sick of the fact that this is just considered “kids stuff” and everyone is so appalled at the horrible behavior yet have never done anything before about it. GIVE THEM JAIL TIME AND I MEAN REALLY LET THEM LEARN A LESSON. Tough love works best in cases like this one.
Who knows, it may also teach the bullies how to love too.
Thanks for reading. Have a good week and praying that nothing else will spring up. These kids are abusing the crap out of one another and killing each other. ITS ABUSE!!!!!! PEER ABUSE!!!!!!!!
Links to learn more about the case:
http://www.wftv.com/news/15817394/detail.html
http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=6295182&version=2&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1
http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_272620020.shtml
http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=60A7A702445D522EB9E58AD31153B20A?contentId=6311709&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1
I am well aware of the Victoria Lindsay case. The one in Florida where six teens “jumped” her and caught it on tape to put on My Space and You Tube. Yeah, this is the latest trend in peer abuse; taping assaults and getting them on these sites for everyone to see. Like some prize, you know? Are you aware that with psycho and sociopath, they ALSO look for rewards in their dirty deeds? Many times they will keep a souvenir from the assault. So, I guess this is the “reward” for these criminals in training, huh? Oh I know, its only kids and only bullying …forgive me for overreacting here as calling it abuse is just an exageration. Note the sarcasm in the last sentence. *rolling eyes*
Well, someone finally FINALLY did something right! Yup, those bullies were arrested and put in jail and I rejoiced. YES! A bully is FINALLY paying his dues! However, they screwed up again in my opinion as they are now on house arrest. House arrest? How sweet….now they can stay home and go online, play video games, text their friends and create more useless crap. Boy, I wish I had been punished this way growing up! What really takes the cake is that someone from the Dr. Phil show has bailed one of the bullies out! YES! Now I thought Good ole Phil was against bullying?
I heard the 911 call Victoria made. Describing the side of her head being hurt and blood all over her mouth. I also saw the video which was equally disturbing. The girl in pain and a group of bullies making it worse. I know there is a gag order on this case and can only learn so much about it. I say remove that gag and let it all go……get it out there and keep it real. Keep us abreast of what is going on and get these bullies back in jail. They need to understand that they did wrong and having Dr Phil bail them out of jail is NOT teaching them anything!
Oh and it gets worse…..now these bogus support pages are being set up online. Yeah, they are doing this for notoriety and not with concern for Victoria. Plus, sites are asking for money on behalf of Victoria and her family. Yup, more embezzlement on My Space and other places. Of course, nothing is going to be done I am sure. Yet the police say they are looking into it. Really? I figured these criminals would be rewarded in some way as well. You know, more house arrest or maybe a guest stint on a talk show?
Yes, this is full of sarcasm but you know, someone FINALLY did the right thing in all of this and that was putting the bullies behind bars where they belong. However, they moved them to house arrest. I am sure house arrest is not easy either but at least they are at home with access to the same stuff that started this whole mess. Plus, one gets help from Dr. Phil! The best thing that could help these kids is time in jail. Yes, let them take responsibility here. I know, they are “just kids” but are old enough to know right from wrong. Old enough to know that beating someone to a pulp and putting it online is wrong. Old enough to know all of this is wrong and until they are accepting any sort of responsibility, it is not going to register. So, if I am coming off as sarcastic, I have a damned good reason to. WHEN IS THIS GOING TO STOP??? WHEN ARE WE GOING TO STOP REWARDING AND SENSATIONALIZING BAD BEHAVIOR??? One of these kids faces life in prison? Really? I will believe it when I see it.
In the meantime, I am disgusted. Sickened and most of all, sick of the fact that this is just considered “kids stuff” and everyone is so appalled at the horrible behavior yet have never done anything before about it. GIVE THEM JAIL TIME AND I MEAN REALLY LET THEM LEARN A LESSON. Tough love works best in cases like this one.
Who knows, it may also teach the bullies how to love too.
Thanks for reading. Have a good week and praying that nothing else will spring up. These kids are abusing the crap out of one another and killing each other. ITS ABUSE!!!!!! PEER ABUSE!!!!!!!!
Links to learn more about the case:
http://www.wftv.com/news/15817394/detail.html
http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/pages/News/Detail?contentId=6295182&version=2&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=TSTY&pageId=3.2.1
http://www.nationalledger.com/artman/publish/article_272620020.shtml
http://www.myfoxtampabay.com/myfox/pages/Home/Detail;jsessionid=60A7A702445D522EB9E58AD31153B20A?contentId=6311709&version=1&locale=EN-US&layoutCode=VSTY&pageId=1.1.1&sflg=1
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Billy Wolfe and Peer Abuse
Hello, yes, am back again and this time, am back with a vengeance. I AM MAD!
I have been reading online about this young man named Billy Wolfe. He is the boy in Arkansas whose family is suing the schools and his bullies for their actions and neglect. He is the boy that the bullies LOVE to beat up. Its sick!
Billy is a 15 year old high school sophomore. He has been bullied since elementary school by the same little sadists (yes, bullies are just that, sadists) and they went on and on and never stopped. The parents tried dealing with the schools and the bullies parents and to no avail. So, enough was enough and now, they are suing them all! Good on them, I hope they take them all straight to the bank.
I am sick and tired of people considering this some sick rite of passage. I am sick and tired of the denial, excuses and the whole she-bang! Just because these are kids does not mean they are immune to punishment yet we think just that…..guess what, if they are old enough to know right from wrong, they should be old enough to be held accountable for their actions. In Billy’s unfortunate journey, these sadists would beat him up, put it on camera phone and share it with everyone at school. Also, in one case, they pushed his head against a window in a school bus, it was caught on tape and STILL, nothing was done! EXCUSE ME???????????????????????? Oh and it gets worse, he has had to have dental work because of this and other things. Yet NOTHING WAS DONE! Hey, he was told that he deserved some of it. WHAT???????
Its high time we stop excusing this and get an education. Its high time we call a spade a spade and see it for what it is: ABUSE! Yes, this is outright ABUSE and that term “bullying” is not cutting it. This problem is growing worse and we are continuing to excuse it. Some are getting educated and I commend them but to allow this situation with Billy to reach these proportions is inexcusable! What is WRONG with people?
Folks, bullies “bully” or should I say abusers “abuse” because THEY CAN! They know nobody will do anything about it so it continues and continues…..would someone listen for once and save these kids from themselves????? For the love of GOD, PLEASE! They are creating so much havoc and I am sorry but in high school, a teen is old enough to think abstractly and therefore, old enough to accept some responsibility and know the difference between right from wrong.
Life is hard, sure. However, THIS is not “just life” but a violation of human and constitutional rights. IT MAKES ME ANGRY! GET REAL SOCIETY! STOP EXCUSING THIS! Yes, I am yelling because….well….I AM ANGRY and it is high time someone DOES GET ANGRY! I hope that Billy’s family is compensated in spades and that they seek him some counseling. This stuff leaves psychological scars that are horrific. As for the bullies, I hope they get help too…..they are the ones that needed it to begin with. If they had kept their crap to themselves, none of this would have ever happened. That’s right: I AM PLACING THE BLAME WHERE IT BELONGS AND NOT ON BILLY!
If anyone is reading this…..help! STOP FEEDING THE BULLY AND ENABLING THIS PROBLEM! DO THE RIGHT THING! PLEASE!
Thank you for reading and have a good day. Again, this angers me and there is no excuse. May Billy and his family prosper from this.
I have been reading online about this young man named Billy Wolfe. He is the boy in Arkansas whose family is suing the schools and his bullies for their actions and neglect. He is the boy that the bullies LOVE to beat up. Its sick!
Billy is a 15 year old high school sophomore. He has been bullied since elementary school by the same little sadists (yes, bullies are just that, sadists) and they went on and on and never stopped. The parents tried dealing with the schools and the bullies parents and to no avail. So, enough was enough and now, they are suing them all! Good on them, I hope they take them all straight to the bank.
I am sick and tired of people considering this some sick rite of passage. I am sick and tired of the denial, excuses and the whole she-bang! Just because these are kids does not mean they are immune to punishment yet we think just that…..guess what, if they are old enough to know right from wrong, they should be old enough to be held accountable for their actions. In Billy’s unfortunate journey, these sadists would beat him up, put it on camera phone and share it with everyone at school. Also, in one case, they pushed his head against a window in a school bus, it was caught on tape and STILL, nothing was done! EXCUSE ME???????????????????????? Oh and it gets worse, he has had to have dental work because of this and other things. Yet NOTHING WAS DONE! Hey, he was told that he deserved some of it. WHAT???????
Its high time we stop excusing this and get an education. Its high time we call a spade a spade and see it for what it is: ABUSE! Yes, this is outright ABUSE and that term “bullying” is not cutting it. This problem is growing worse and we are continuing to excuse it. Some are getting educated and I commend them but to allow this situation with Billy to reach these proportions is inexcusable! What is WRONG with people?
Folks, bullies “bully” or should I say abusers “abuse” because THEY CAN! They know nobody will do anything about it so it continues and continues…..would someone listen for once and save these kids from themselves????? For the love of GOD, PLEASE! They are creating so much havoc and I am sorry but in high school, a teen is old enough to think abstractly and therefore, old enough to accept some responsibility and know the difference between right from wrong.
Life is hard, sure. However, THIS is not “just life” but a violation of human and constitutional rights. IT MAKES ME ANGRY! GET REAL SOCIETY! STOP EXCUSING THIS! Yes, I am yelling because….well….I AM ANGRY and it is high time someone DOES GET ANGRY! I hope that Billy’s family is compensated in spades and that they seek him some counseling. This stuff leaves psychological scars that are horrific. As for the bullies, I hope they get help too…..they are the ones that needed it to begin with. If they had kept their crap to themselves, none of this would have ever happened. That’s right: I AM PLACING THE BLAME WHERE IT BELONGS AND NOT ON BILLY!
If anyone is reading this…..help! STOP FEEDING THE BULLY AND ENABLING THIS PROBLEM! DO THE RIGHT THING! PLEASE!
Thank you for reading and have a good day. Again, this angers me and there is no excuse. May Billy and his family prosper from this.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Peer Abuse and the Workplace
So, another week has reached us and with that comes more interesting news on Peer Abuse. As we know it happens in the schools, it also happens at the workplace. I have included work place tips in my book and a lot of times, we focus so much on the schools that the workplace tends to get overlooked in trying to reach others with this problem.
I have been reading an article on the Forbes web site about this very same problem. It is mentioned that little is done about this problem. One reason is that unless someone is at the receiving end of the abuse, it is unlikely that anyone will recognize it. Never mind that we are adults here and should understand that harassing someone and constantly harping on others and their work is wrong and that that unless someone is a supervisor themselves, they really have no place ordering others around or creating stressful nonsense. To think we are the ones at our prime and raising children! I guess those with children are teaching their children that it is okay to behave like this. The article also mentions that the victim is harmed health wise and their job performance is affected. Well no joke! Anyone who is reading this, can you function with someone ALWAYS on your back, sending you daily nasty notes in your mailbox or inbox, blaming you for others mistakes and trying to mob you out of the company? If anyone answers “yes” then they are fooling themselves in my opinion. A person can get so bogged down in this that they cannot come up for air and it affects everyone’s work performance….except the bullies who get their kicks off of this nonsense.
Yes, the health problems are there and 45% of the people out there are having to deal with these problems. These can be cardiovascular and heart problems, immune system problems, post traumatic stress and anxiety. Gee! Don’t people who are abused in other situations experience some of this? Yes, they do! However, there is a difference. The difference being that what they are dealing with is considered a clinical problem and what these in the workplace are dealing with is not. This 45% is growing daily and is not about to stop. Until people get serious about this problem that is.
There are ten signs left in the article that show that someone is being abused at work. Again, I have this in my book but does not harm in mentioning them on here. Some things one should look for is misery, constant criticism, yelling, keeping track of your mistakes, gossip and lies, left out of lunch meetings, constant need for mental health days, sabotage, impossible scheduling and having your work stolen. If any of this is occurring with you by a bully co-worker or boss, you are experiencing peer abuse and I suggest either hunting for another job before quitting this one or go a legal route. Also, keep up with that code of conduct which the company enforces. Catch the bully in his/her own stuff. If you wish to learn more, check out my book! Nobody and I mean nobody deserves this.
If you know someone who is dealing with this at work, help them. If you are the one who is the bully, you need to take two steps back and stop pricking the other guy in the eye when what you are doing is twice as bad. It takes one voice to create change, be that voice!
Source: http://www.forbes.com/health/2008/03/22/health-bullying-office-forbeslife-cx_avd_0324health.html
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of “Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/ .
I have been reading an article on the Forbes web site about this very same problem. It is mentioned that little is done about this problem. One reason is that unless someone is at the receiving end of the abuse, it is unlikely that anyone will recognize it. Never mind that we are adults here and should understand that harassing someone and constantly harping on others and their work is wrong and that that unless someone is a supervisor themselves, they really have no place ordering others around or creating stressful nonsense. To think we are the ones at our prime and raising children! I guess those with children are teaching their children that it is okay to behave like this. The article also mentions that the victim is harmed health wise and their job performance is affected. Well no joke! Anyone who is reading this, can you function with someone ALWAYS on your back, sending you daily nasty notes in your mailbox or inbox, blaming you for others mistakes and trying to mob you out of the company? If anyone answers “yes” then they are fooling themselves in my opinion. A person can get so bogged down in this that they cannot come up for air and it affects everyone’s work performance….except the bullies who get their kicks off of this nonsense.
Yes, the health problems are there and 45% of the people out there are having to deal with these problems. These can be cardiovascular and heart problems, immune system problems, post traumatic stress and anxiety. Gee! Don’t people who are abused in other situations experience some of this? Yes, they do! However, there is a difference. The difference being that what they are dealing with is considered a clinical problem and what these in the workplace are dealing with is not. This 45% is growing daily and is not about to stop. Until people get serious about this problem that is.
There are ten signs left in the article that show that someone is being abused at work. Again, I have this in my book but does not harm in mentioning them on here. Some things one should look for is misery, constant criticism, yelling, keeping track of your mistakes, gossip and lies, left out of lunch meetings, constant need for mental health days, sabotage, impossible scheduling and having your work stolen. If any of this is occurring with you by a bully co-worker or boss, you are experiencing peer abuse and I suggest either hunting for another job before quitting this one or go a legal route. Also, keep up with that code of conduct which the company enforces. Catch the bully in his/her own stuff. If you wish to learn more, check out my book! Nobody and I mean nobody deserves this.
If you know someone who is dealing with this at work, help them. If you are the one who is the bully, you need to take two steps back and stop pricking the other guy in the eye when what you are doing is twice as bad. It takes one voice to create change, be that voice!
Source: http://www.forbes.com/health/2008/03/22/health-bullying-office-forbeslife-cx_avd_0324health.html
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of “Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/ .
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Peer Abuse Using Visuals
I have been reading the recent articles on Peer Abuse (what I call that “bully” word as that “b” word is not cutting it in my opinion) and one stuck out to me. The NBC affiliate KFYR in New Town, North Dakota recently did a segment on a group called R5 Online which deals with that “b” word.
I commend R5 on their efforts. They do presentations with videos and pictures on how harmful words can be to elementary schools in the area. By painting these kids themselves into the pictures, they see themselves actually in that particular situation. This helps them to visualize and try to gain an understanding of each other. True, children do not think abstractly but the use of these pictures helps to put the problem into a concrete perspective. By doing this, children are learning to walk in one another’s shoes. I think this is a great way to learn empathy because early on, that is when children need to be learning it. If not, this can lead to other problems later in life. This day in time, I think we could all use a good dose of empathy training regardless of what age we may be. Not only is R5 using the picture technique, they are also putting up posters around all schools and have a website set up where kids can go and talk to a counselor about these problems. Boy, do I wish these resources were available elsewhere.
However, I have to disagree with a statement that was made concerning the fact that this problem decreases once these kids get into high school. I strongly disagree with this and will explain why. When a person matures and becomes more abstract in their thinking, how they approach things may be less evident and more covert. During the elementary years, child bullies are very vocal and do not have the sophistication that a teen has in disguising these situations. Teens know that vocalizing these things will get them into trouble so they become more sneaky in how they abuse their peers. They have the tools to manipulate these situations and who to take their actions to. As for the abuse, much of it is done relationally and is very hard to detect. Sure, some is overt like hate groups but much of it is done away from authority, in places where nobody will “rat them out” so to speak. The mind of an abuser has become abstract and the actions have developed. Needless to say, as a result of this, it is much harder to detect who the bully is and who they are abusing. Many in authority are missing the mark here and chances are, maybe the group from R5 is missing this as well? If having ones life threatened, do you think they are going to go and freely share the fact that they are being abused by their peers? That is ratting someone out! A form of social suicide! A sad and terrible way to view this but it’s all these kids know. The older they get, the more they know to be a fact. Maybe this is what could be occuring in this case?
As I previously stated, I am glad someone else out there is gaining an understanding and reaching out to others on this serious and lethal issue. Many bullies lack empathy and catching children early on is vital for healthy emotional growth. However, we need to understand that this problem does not “grow up” but it “grows worse” and becomes much harder to detect as a person matures. There are many adult abusers today who started out being childhood bullies. They flew under the radar due to the fact that their behavior was always excused and swept under the rug. They never grew up or out of their behavior, just fine tuned it with time. Remember, bullies do not “grow up” but they “grow worse”. This is definitely something to think about.
Source:http://www.kfyrtv.com/News_Stories.asp?news=16735
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of “Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/ .
I commend R5 on their efforts. They do presentations with videos and pictures on how harmful words can be to elementary schools in the area. By painting these kids themselves into the pictures, they see themselves actually in that particular situation. This helps them to visualize and try to gain an understanding of each other. True, children do not think abstractly but the use of these pictures helps to put the problem into a concrete perspective. By doing this, children are learning to walk in one another’s shoes. I think this is a great way to learn empathy because early on, that is when children need to be learning it. If not, this can lead to other problems later in life. This day in time, I think we could all use a good dose of empathy training regardless of what age we may be. Not only is R5 using the picture technique, they are also putting up posters around all schools and have a website set up where kids can go and talk to a counselor about these problems. Boy, do I wish these resources were available elsewhere.
However, I have to disagree with a statement that was made concerning the fact that this problem decreases once these kids get into high school. I strongly disagree with this and will explain why. When a person matures and becomes more abstract in their thinking, how they approach things may be less evident and more covert. During the elementary years, child bullies are very vocal and do not have the sophistication that a teen has in disguising these situations. Teens know that vocalizing these things will get them into trouble so they become more sneaky in how they abuse their peers. They have the tools to manipulate these situations and who to take their actions to. As for the abuse, much of it is done relationally and is very hard to detect. Sure, some is overt like hate groups but much of it is done away from authority, in places where nobody will “rat them out” so to speak. The mind of an abuser has become abstract and the actions have developed. Needless to say, as a result of this, it is much harder to detect who the bully is and who they are abusing. Many in authority are missing the mark here and chances are, maybe the group from R5 is missing this as well? If having ones life threatened, do you think they are going to go and freely share the fact that they are being abused by their peers? That is ratting someone out! A form of social suicide! A sad and terrible way to view this but it’s all these kids know. The older they get, the more they know to be a fact. Maybe this is what could be occuring in this case?
As I previously stated, I am glad someone else out there is gaining an understanding and reaching out to others on this serious and lethal issue. Many bullies lack empathy and catching children early on is vital for healthy emotional growth. However, we need to understand that this problem does not “grow up” but it “grows worse” and becomes much harder to detect as a person matures. There are many adult abusers today who started out being childhood bullies. They flew under the radar due to the fact that their behavior was always excused and swept under the rug. They never grew up or out of their behavior, just fine tuned it with time. Remember, bullies do not “grow up” but they “grow worse”. This is definitely something to think about.
Source:http://www.kfyrtv.com/News_Stories.asp?news=16735
Elizabeth Bennett is the author of “Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” and resides in Los Angeles, California. To learn more, visit http://www.peerabuse.info/ .
Thursday, March 06, 2008
Folks, bullying IS abuse! Did you know that??
Hey there! Its another week and more bullying and peer abuse occurring out there. Here is the latest…..
Well, we have second graders who are writing their own books about bullying. One even stated that this helps her get her own bad feelings out.
A recent study was conducted where cyber bullying has gone up to 9% from 6% five years ago. One thing that may help is to keep an eye on pages such as MySpace as this is a hotbed for bullying. If parents have access to their childs account, this could well decrease any bullying occurring.
Also, a woman who has a daughter who was ill went last year to purchase cigarettes and wrote a check for $26.61 and the check bounced. She is on a fixed income and was threatened by a company who stated that she needed to pay a certain amount to them or would be facing jail and $1,000 in fines. This was a simple mistake on her part yet the company was relentless. She has fallen victim to a company who contracts with the court system that demands excessive fines from those who have written checks for very little money. They bully others to pay these excessive fines and threaten jail time. Many times, writing a bad check is just a simple mistake on the part of the victim and can usually be cleared up with the bank. Plus, this was the first time this woman ever did this and was bad check book balancing on her part. It happens and we all make mistakes. What is more disturbing is that the victim never received a letter from the merchant letting her know that the check had bounced in the first place.
There was a young man who had written a list of those who had bullied him in school and church. This list was found by another party who took it to her mother. So, with everyone jumping the gun as they do before getting the facts first, took it and the young man was charged and authorities were contacted. However, through actual talking things through to get to the truth, it turned out that the bullies were the ones who pushed him to this point. Really?? Someone is actually getting this?? What took them so long??
Folks, I lived this for 27 years. I KNOW what this can do to a person and it is not some stupid rite of passage. Please, PLEASE know that bullying is actual abuse: Peer Abuse! Why should anyone have to put up with it? Why do people have to do it?
Well, we have second graders who are writing their own books about bullying. One even stated that this helps her get her own bad feelings out.
A recent study was conducted where cyber bullying has gone up to 9% from 6% five years ago. One thing that may help is to keep an eye on pages such as MySpace as this is a hotbed for bullying. If parents have access to their childs account, this could well decrease any bullying occurring.
Also, a woman who has a daughter who was ill went last year to purchase cigarettes and wrote a check for $26.61 and the check bounced. She is on a fixed income and was threatened by a company who stated that she needed to pay a certain amount to them or would be facing jail and $1,000 in fines. This was a simple mistake on her part yet the company was relentless. She has fallen victim to a company who contracts with the court system that demands excessive fines from those who have written checks for very little money. They bully others to pay these excessive fines and threaten jail time. Many times, writing a bad check is just a simple mistake on the part of the victim and can usually be cleared up with the bank. Plus, this was the first time this woman ever did this and was bad check book balancing on her part. It happens and we all make mistakes. What is more disturbing is that the victim never received a letter from the merchant letting her know that the check had bounced in the first place.
There was a young man who had written a list of those who had bullied him in school and church. This list was found by another party who took it to her mother. So, with everyone jumping the gun as they do before getting the facts first, took it and the young man was charged and authorities were contacted. However, through actual talking things through to get to the truth, it turned out that the bullies were the ones who pushed him to this point. Really?? Someone is actually getting this?? What took them so long??
Folks, I lived this for 27 years. I KNOW what this can do to a person and it is not some stupid rite of passage. Please, PLEASE know that bullying is actual abuse: Peer Abuse! Why should anyone have to put up with it? Why do people have to do it?
Tuesday, March 04, 2008
Interested In Talking About Spiritualtity With a Dentist?
Well, it can be done with the Total Success Seminar! This is an audio conference with Dr. Joe
Capista who is the author of What Can a Dentist Teach You About Life and Success.
If you purchase this book, you will receive a spot on the teleseminar while they last and over $2,551 in bonus gifts. If you purchase this book within the next 24 hours, you will automatically receive a spot in Dr. Capistas audio conference. How great is that?? Check it out: http://www.joecapista.com/amazon.htm
Dr. Capista shares great information on manifestation, law of attraction and spirituality. Plus, tips to success on health, happiness and great relationships. These principles have allowed him to become successful in his own life and he now shares them with you. He has been married for over 34 years and is the in the top 3% of revenue generators in this nation. Now, you can be this successful also if you check out this great book! To learn more, visit http://www.joecapista.com/amazon.htm .
Here’s to greater success! Have a good day!
Regards,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info
Capista who is the author of What Can a Dentist Teach You About Life and Success.
If you purchase this book, you will receive a spot on the teleseminar while they last and over $2,551 in bonus gifts. If you purchase this book within the next 24 hours, you will automatically receive a spot in Dr. Capistas audio conference. How great is that?? Check it out: http://www.joecapista.com/amazon.htm
Dr. Capista shares great information on manifestation, law of attraction and spirituality. Plus, tips to success on health, happiness and great relationships. These principles have allowed him to become successful in his own life and he now shares them with you. He has been married for over 34 years and is the in the top 3% of revenue generators in this nation. Now, you can be this successful also if you check out this great book! To learn more, visit http://www.joecapista.com/amazon.htm .
Here’s to greater success! Have a good day!
Regards,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info
Thursday, February 28, 2008
This Week In Peer Abuse
Dear Reader,
Well, another week and more news on what everyone knows as “bullying” but what I know “Peer Abuse”.
I have to commend the Police Department in Novi Michigan for getting on top of this problem. They are aware of the dangers of this and have suggestions to combat the problem. In Overland Park Kansas, Lakeview Middle School has decided to add the Olweus Program to their curriculum. In Altoona Pennsylvania, a group of kindergartners to third graders had to do an exercise where they shut their eyes and imagined what a bully is. Many saw a bigger boy picking on a smaller child. That was the first thing that came to their minds. In Pueblo Colorado, a girl was fined $230 for abusing another girl. In Salt Lake City Utah, some legislation is being worked on to combat this problem. In Savannah Georgia, a video was taken of a thirteen year old boy sitting at his desk minding his own business while a couple of kids came up and kept hitting him and hitting him. Then, the video showed up on My Space but was removed. The bully faces expulsion and possible charges. The officer on campus is an Adult Survivor Of Peer Abuse.
I am glad people around the nation are cramping down on this. Taking some sort of action towards education. Reaching kids while they are still young. Punishing the bully for their behavior and holding them responsible. For one adult survivor to speak out on his own experiences. It does my heart good that some are actually “getting it” so to speak. Kudos to them!
However, there is a couple of elements still missing. Why are we still calling this bullying? Folks, a thirteen year old boy had been attacked and attacked while “trying to ignore it” and then was more humiliated as he was videotaped and had the tape thrown up on My Space for millions to see. The eleven year old girl was cited $230 for disorderly conduct yet was standing up to the real bullies. A group of girls had been aggravating this one girl and bullying her since Christmas yet she is the one in trouble. For what? Fighting back? Taking it and taking it until she cannot take it anymore? After this group started to harass her, her grades dropped and she started having other problems. Yet, she gets charged and the other girls? Well, my guess is they are getting off with nothing. Which is par for the course. Blame the victim in all of this. Yes, two elements are missing here. Bullying is a form of abuse, its PEER ABUSE! How can someone just attacking and harassing someone over and over and OVER NOT be considered a form of abuse? Man, in other forms of abuse these issues are seen as such. Also, in other forms of abuse, the victim is protected and the abuser is punished. In one case, this happened but in another, it did not.
Its time to get real, America. Time to call a spade a spade here. This problem is growing worse by the minute and the same tactics are not cutting it. When I was growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, I was bullied nearly to death and nothing was ever done about it. So I KNOW how these kids feel. Peer Abuse is probably one of the worst things anyone can go through. Yet, we still enable the problem and again, another victim is punished for the bullies own crap. Also, what really baffles me is that a video camera was used in this assault. How does a video camera even get in there? Evidently it was brought to school by the bully for them to even get the video downloaded online and placed on My Space. The video has shot out the actual faces of the abuser and his victim but the movement is on the screen. The adult survivor said it was one of the most disturbing things he had ever seen.
Society, please…..PLEASE wake up! This is not kids being kids but is outright abuse! It needs to stop and needs to be treated seriously and brought to a clinical and psychological level. People have died and are continuing to die from this. Open your eyes! Please!
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info
“Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” on sale now for $13.95. Visit the website to learn more.
Well, another week and more news on what everyone knows as “bullying” but what I know “Peer Abuse”.
I have to commend the Police Department in Novi Michigan for getting on top of this problem. They are aware of the dangers of this and have suggestions to combat the problem. In Overland Park Kansas, Lakeview Middle School has decided to add the Olweus Program to their curriculum. In Altoona Pennsylvania, a group of kindergartners to third graders had to do an exercise where they shut their eyes and imagined what a bully is. Many saw a bigger boy picking on a smaller child. That was the first thing that came to their minds. In Pueblo Colorado, a girl was fined $230 for abusing another girl. In Salt Lake City Utah, some legislation is being worked on to combat this problem. In Savannah Georgia, a video was taken of a thirteen year old boy sitting at his desk minding his own business while a couple of kids came up and kept hitting him and hitting him. Then, the video showed up on My Space but was removed. The bully faces expulsion and possible charges. The officer on campus is an Adult Survivor Of Peer Abuse.
I am glad people around the nation are cramping down on this. Taking some sort of action towards education. Reaching kids while they are still young. Punishing the bully for their behavior and holding them responsible. For one adult survivor to speak out on his own experiences. It does my heart good that some are actually “getting it” so to speak. Kudos to them!
However, there is a couple of elements still missing. Why are we still calling this bullying? Folks, a thirteen year old boy had been attacked and attacked while “trying to ignore it” and then was more humiliated as he was videotaped and had the tape thrown up on My Space for millions to see. The eleven year old girl was cited $230 for disorderly conduct yet was standing up to the real bullies. A group of girls had been aggravating this one girl and bullying her since Christmas yet she is the one in trouble. For what? Fighting back? Taking it and taking it until she cannot take it anymore? After this group started to harass her, her grades dropped and she started having other problems. Yet, she gets charged and the other girls? Well, my guess is they are getting off with nothing. Which is par for the course. Blame the victim in all of this. Yes, two elements are missing here. Bullying is a form of abuse, its PEER ABUSE! How can someone just attacking and harassing someone over and over and OVER NOT be considered a form of abuse? Man, in other forms of abuse these issues are seen as such. Also, in other forms of abuse, the victim is protected and the abuser is punished. In one case, this happened but in another, it did not.
Its time to get real, America. Time to call a spade a spade here. This problem is growing worse by the minute and the same tactics are not cutting it. When I was growing up in the 70’s and 80’s, I was bullied nearly to death and nothing was ever done about it. So I KNOW how these kids feel. Peer Abuse is probably one of the worst things anyone can go through. Yet, we still enable the problem and again, another victim is punished for the bullies own crap. Also, what really baffles me is that a video camera was used in this assault. How does a video camera even get in there? Evidently it was brought to school by the bully for them to even get the video downloaded online and placed on My Space. The video has shot out the actual faces of the abuser and his victim but the movement is on the screen. The adult survivor said it was one of the most disturbing things he had ever seen.
Society, please…..PLEASE wake up! This is not kids being kids but is outright abuse! It needs to stop and needs to be treated seriously and brought to a clinical and psychological level. People have died and are continuing to die from this. Open your eyes! Please!
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info
“Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” on sale now for $13.95. Visit the website to learn more.
Monday, February 18, 2008
Peer Abuse: Another Blind Eye Turned
Well, here we go again……or that is how I am feeling anyway. Yes, another school shooting this past week and how many does this make now? I am losing count but can assure you that I know what is behind them.
Steven Kazmeirczak came into a lecture hall and killed five people and injured sixteen before turning the gun on himself. This occurred at Northern Illinois University. From what I have read, this young man was a good student. A very gentle boy who did have some problems at home after high school and was admitted to a psychiatric facility by his family. As a “B” student in high school, he was a member of the band and chess clubs. He got a degree in Sociology from NIU. Also, he had an “incompatibility discharge” from the Army and had concerns about this being a “stigma” on his record. It has also been discovered that he was on medication and stopped taking it a couple of weeks before the shooting.
Well, the “experts” have given their take on all of this. The same ol same ol….he had stopped taking his meds which caused this. Or better…..his social isolation and desire for attention created this. Yeah, that’s it! He was a loner and just wanted attention. A loner who stopped taking his meds and wanted attention….okay, America can live with this. Society can live with this. Its an attention grabbing thing so they get famous and make the six o’clock news. So, with that, we have our answers and everyone can go back to more important issues such as what time does “House” come on TV tonight. The things that REALLY matter. After all, this is just some stupid attention whore who wants his fifteen minutes and really is wasting everyone’s time here.
Folks, these experts and others are missing key factors here. What caused this young man to be on meds in the first place? It was reported that he was gentle by nature so what caused him to create such an act? Why was he discharged from the Army for incompatibility? As for this fifteen minutes crap, if he was wanting attention so badly and to bask in the limelight, why did he turn the gun on himself before making the six o’clock news?
You know, when it comes to these shootings, people are missing a key component. PEER ABUSE! The root of this problem is that the shooter has suffered daily abuse at the hands of his peers. Oh it eventually comes out that the shooter was bullied, suffered from social anxiety and depression, felt isolated and just snapped. After all, a person can only take so much abuse until they snap. Nobody around will help them. Sure, they went to someone and let them know that they were being tortured daily at school. However, they were probably told to “ignore it and it will go away” or “this is a fact of life. You are too sensitive. Stop being so sensitive and the bullies will leave you alone”. Nobody in authority to help so they take this into their own hands. I mean, nobody around them is helping and the problem is not going away so why even bother taking the meds in the first place? They are not doing their job because the problems are still existing. So yeah, he goes off his meds. He has had enough and he snaps.
This young man was in the band and chess club in school. Aren’t these areas considered places of “social suicide” to the repulsive high school culture? Only “geeks” and “nerds” participate in these activities according to society. These are the ones who are bullied on a daily basis for being such “geeks” and “nerds”. Yet, why are these experts missing this? Living with these stigmas daily and being tortured and harassed for having these interests is hell on earth.
I think its high time people really get educated. Look at the whole scheme of things here. To stop trying to avoid the problem altogether. Skirt around it and find other reasons and excuses for this problem of Peer Abuse. Did anyone ever think that these kids are going off meds because the problem itself is not stopping? If they wanted fifteen minutes so much, why are they not sticking around to bask in the glory? Did anyone ever bother to think that making the six o’clock news is a way to cry out for help and to show people that they suffered at the hands of their peers? A person can only take so much of “geek” and “nerd” on a regular basis. It breaks a person and their spirit to hear these things over and over and OVER again. Also, a gentle soul….that is so NOT acceptable because we are always taught that “big girls don’t cry” and “to be a man and toughen up.” These are the only behaviors that are acceptable so someone who does not share this temperament must suffer at the hands of his peers.
Peer Abuse is a serious problem in our society and the problem is growing worse and not better. Its time to crawl out of denial and really look at the core problem here. Start to treat this problem as a form of abuse and not some sick right of passage. Its time for America’s Dirtiest Little Secret to be exposed and known for what it really is and that is abuse. Peer Abuse.
Steven Kazmeirczak came into a lecture hall and killed five people and injured sixteen before turning the gun on himself. This occurred at Northern Illinois University. From what I have read, this young man was a good student. A very gentle boy who did have some problems at home after high school and was admitted to a psychiatric facility by his family. As a “B” student in high school, he was a member of the band and chess clubs. He got a degree in Sociology from NIU. Also, he had an “incompatibility discharge” from the Army and had concerns about this being a “stigma” on his record. It has also been discovered that he was on medication and stopped taking it a couple of weeks before the shooting.
Well, the “experts” have given their take on all of this. The same ol same ol….he had stopped taking his meds which caused this. Or better…..his social isolation and desire for attention created this. Yeah, that’s it! He was a loner and just wanted attention. A loner who stopped taking his meds and wanted attention….okay, America can live with this. Society can live with this. Its an attention grabbing thing so they get famous and make the six o’clock news. So, with that, we have our answers and everyone can go back to more important issues such as what time does “House” come on TV tonight. The things that REALLY matter. After all, this is just some stupid attention whore who wants his fifteen minutes and really is wasting everyone’s time here.
Folks, these experts and others are missing key factors here. What caused this young man to be on meds in the first place? It was reported that he was gentle by nature so what caused him to create such an act? Why was he discharged from the Army for incompatibility? As for this fifteen minutes crap, if he was wanting attention so badly and to bask in the limelight, why did he turn the gun on himself before making the six o’clock news?
You know, when it comes to these shootings, people are missing a key component. PEER ABUSE! The root of this problem is that the shooter has suffered daily abuse at the hands of his peers. Oh it eventually comes out that the shooter was bullied, suffered from social anxiety and depression, felt isolated and just snapped. After all, a person can only take so much abuse until they snap. Nobody around will help them. Sure, they went to someone and let them know that they were being tortured daily at school. However, they were probably told to “ignore it and it will go away” or “this is a fact of life. You are too sensitive. Stop being so sensitive and the bullies will leave you alone”. Nobody in authority to help so they take this into their own hands. I mean, nobody around them is helping and the problem is not going away so why even bother taking the meds in the first place? They are not doing their job because the problems are still existing. So yeah, he goes off his meds. He has had enough and he snaps.
This young man was in the band and chess club in school. Aren’t these areas considered places of “social suicide” to the repulsive high school culture? Only “geeks” and “nerds” participate in these activities according to society. These are the ones who are bullied on a daily basis for being such “geeks” and “nerds”. Yet, why are these experts missing this? Living with these stigmas daily and being tortured and harassed for having these interests is hell on earth.
I think its high time people really get educated. Look at the whole scheme of things here. To stop trying to avoid the problem altogether. Skirt around it and find other reasons and excuses for this problem of Peer Abuse. Did anyone ever think that these kids are going off meds because the problem itself is not stopping? If they wanted fifteen minutes so much, why are they not sticking around to bask in the glory? Did anyone ever bother to think that making the six o’clock news is a way to cry out for help and to show people that they suffered at the hands of their peers? A person can only take so much of “geek” and “nerd” on a regular basis. It breaks a person and their spirit to hear these things over and over and OVER again. Also, a gentle soul….that is so NOT acceptable because we are always taught that “big girls don’t cry” and “to be a man and toughen up.” These are the only behaviors that are acceptable so someone who does not share this temperament must suffer at the hands of his peers.
Peer Abuse is a serious problem in our society and the problem is growing worse and not better. Its time to crawl out of denial and really look at the core problem here. Start to treat this problem as a form of abuse and not some sick right of passage. Its time for America’s Dirtiest Little Secret to be exposed and known for what it really is and that is abuse. Peer Abuse.
Thursday, February 14, 2008
Why do we continue to excuse Peer Abuse?
Greetings! I wanted to take a few minutes and address my thoughts on recent articles in the news concerning bullying or what I refer to as Peer Abuse.
This week, a school board meeting was held to discuss this issue in Charlotte, North Carolina. Some felt that school would be safer if Peer Abuse (sorry, I call it as I see it and this is abuse) were not such a problem and something was done to nip it in the bud. But of course, as with any other place, one board member felt it was not an issue and should deal with other important things. Folks, WHY are people still denying this? WHY are they putting this on the back burner? Do you want me to tell you WHY I think they are doing this? Because bullying is still seen as “kids stuff” and “some right of passage” while others are seeing this for what it is. ABUSE! We protect those suffering from child, rape, domestic, sexual and elder abuse, why is this any different? Same behavior and psychological impact. Yet, we tend to excuse this and accept it but help others suffering from these other forms of abuse. Sounds to me like some folks need an education!
On a positive note, in Orville California, an article was written in the Orville Mercury Register that Peer Abuse affects everyone….and that hit’s the nail on the head. It affects a community as a whole. It stresses families out. The workplace becomes toxic. Of course, in school, it becomes unsafe. The article left some great information from the Department Of Health & Human Services and it was good to see someone calling a spade a spade. Yes, this affects a person physically and psychologically. Yes, it is hard to overcome. No, this just does not “go away”. I commend this publication for raising the awareness and getting real about this serious problem.
The bottom line is that this is a form of abuse. The victim deals with a multitude of problems such as depression, social anxiety, PTSD and other issues while the bully grows up to be narcissistic and pathological. Also, many wind up in prison by the age of 24. You want to know what else? Its our tax money that keeps these prisoners in prison and I do not know about you but I, for one am tired of this. How do we combat this? We get serious about this problem……treat it as we would child, domestic, sexual and elder abuse. Bottom line!
This week, a school board meeting was held to discuss this issue in Charlotte, North Carolina. Some felt that school would be safer if Peer Abuse (sorry, I call it as I see it and this is abuse) were not such a problem and something was done to nip it in the bud. But of course, as with any other place, one board member felt it was not an issue and should deal with other important things. Folks, WHY are people still denying this? WHY are they putting this on the back burner? Do you want me to tell you WHY I think they are doing this? Because bullying is still seen as “kids stuff” and “some right of passage” while others are seeing this for what it is. ABUSE! We protect those suffering from child, rape, domestic, sexual and elder abuse, why is this any different? Same behavior and psychological impact. Yet, we tend to excuse this and accept it but help others suffering from these other forms of abuse. Sounds to me like some folks need an education!
On a positive note, in Orville California, an article was written in the Orville Mercury Register that Peer Abuse affects everyone….and that hit’s the nail on the head. It affects a community as a whole. It stresses families out. The workplace becomes toxic. Of course, in school, it becomes unsafe. The article left some great information from the Department Of Health & Human Services and it was good to see someone calling a spade a spade. Yes, this affects a person physically and psychologically. Yes, it is hard to overcome. No, this just does not “go away”. I commend this publication for raising the awareness and getting real about this serious problem.
The bottom line is that this is a form of abuse. The victim deals with a multitude of problems such as depression, social anxiety, PTSD and other issues while the bully grows up to be narcissistic and pathological. Also, many wind up in prison by the age of 24. You want to know what else? Its our tax money that keeps these prisoners in prison and I do not know about you but I, for one am tired of this. How do we combat this? We get serious about this problem……treat it as we would child, domestic, sexual and elder abuse. Bottom line!
Monday, November 26, 2007
Letter Concerning Lori Drew
Here is the letter I sent to MO people concerning Megan Meier. I typed it out and its going out today. The lady who was behind this MySpace prank is named Lori Drew. She has a blog on here trying to excuse herself out of this by blaming Megan. How low can she sink???(http://meganhaditcoming.blogspot.com/) Yes, a grown woman created this and sent this child over the edge. What does this say about our society? Anyway, I sent this letter out today to the Sheriffs Department, District Attorney and House Representative in that area. If you wish to have this info, please email me and will gladly share it.
Hi, my name is Elizabeth Bennett and am sending this concerning theMegan Meier and Lori Drew situation in your area.I am enclosing a copy of a blog this woman, Lori Drew, hassupposedly started on the internet. I will just get to the point here. WHY is this woman still walking the streets free as a bird? This is someone who is not well mentally yet the press was willing to protect her privacy. Her actions are what sent Megan over the edge. Yet, Lori is not charged with anything and expresses no remorse towards this. Word has it that she saw Megan's mother in a store and asked her to stop talking to the press. I hope Mrs. Meier speaks to the press from now until Kingdom Come! There is no justice here! None! This woman, a woman of consent went on the internet, setup a bogus Myspace account with a bogus boy named "Josh". The reasonshe did it? Because she wanted to see what was being said about her own daughter? My gosh, this is a grown woman with a family! A member of the Chamber Of Commerce! What does this say about the mentality of your community? The Meier family is charged for destroying a foosball table yet Mrs. Drew is charged with absolutely NOTHING? All she does is put up some sorry excuse of a blog blaming MEGAN for this??
Needless to say, the Anti-bullying Community is in an uproar over this. There is no justice in this and this woman should be charged with murder. Are you aware of the dangers of Peer Abuse? That's right PEER ABUSE. This is bullying with a clinical term for it. Its high time you all get an education on this. Lori Drew is nothing more than a sociopath and by allowing her to roam the streets freely, all you are doing is enabling criminal behavior. Please, lets see justice be served. Justice for Megan! Have a good day.
Regards,Elizabeth Bennett, M.Ed
http://www.peerabuse.info
elizabethbennett@peerabuse.info
I left my land mail and phone numbers where they can find me. I amnot putting them up on a public board though. I hope they arebombarded with letters. This case has burned me to the core.
Hi, my name is Elizabeth Bennett and am sending this concerning theMegan Meier and Lori Drew situation in your area.I am enclosing a copy of a blog this woman, Lori Drew, hassupposedly started on the internet. I will just get to the point here. WHY is this woman still walking the streets free as a bird? This is someone who is not well mentally yet the press was willing to protect her privacy. Her actions are what sent Megan over the edge. Yet, Lori is not charged with anything and expresses no remorse towards this. Word has it that she saw Megan's mother in a store and asked her to stop talking to the press. I hope Mrs. Meier speaks to the press from now until Kingdom Come! There is no justice here! None! This woman, a woman of consent went on the internet, setup a bogus Myspace account with a bogus boy named "Josh". The reasonshe did it? Because she wanted to see what was being said about her own daughter? My gosh, this is a grown woman with a family! A member of the Chamber Of Commerce! What does this say about the mentality of your community? The Meier family is charged for destroying a foosball table yet Mrs. Drew is charged with absolutely NOTHING? All she does is put up some sorry excuse of a blog blaming MEGAN for this??
Needless to say, the Anti-bullying Community is in an uproar over this. There is no justice in this and this woman should be charged with murder. Are you aware of the dangers of Peer Abuse? That's right PEER ABUSE. This is bullying with a clinical term for it. Its high time you all get an education on this. Lori Drew is nothing more than a sociopath and by allowing her to roam the streets freely, all you are doing is enabling criminal behavior. Please, lets see justice be served. Justice for Megan! Have a good day.
Regards,Elizabeth Bennett, M.Ed
http://www.peerabuse.info
elizabethbennett@peerabuse.info
I left my land mail and phone numbers where they can find me. I amnot putting them up on a public board though. I hope they arebombarded with letters. This case has burned me to the core.
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Megan, MySpace hoax and Peer Abuse
Okay, I have been reading about this MySpace hoax the past couple of days. I am getting it in email, reading it here......everyone is shocked beyond belief that this could happen. Yeah, how could anadult even think of participating in this? Whats more....she takes very little if any responsibility for her actions in this and offers no apology and wants Megans family to "stop all of this".You know....I have to say it. I am not surprised in the least that this woman has reacted as she has. No, she has no remorse and shewas probably just "playing a joke. Gosh, can't ANYONE TAKE A JOKE????" Her behavior does not surprise me in the least. Afterall, aren't we a society that enables this? Follows this? Sets the tone for this? American Idol is the perfect example. Simon Cowell makes fun of a disabled boy. Its excused because "Its the business so yeah, Simon is justifiable". You know what? Tony Bennett and DollyParton are BOTH in the business and BOTH have publicially stated that they want nothing to do with this show because it is too mean. Simon even told Tony that its about money and as long as he is happy and getting the green, who cares? Yet this is so acceptable and his behavior is wonderful.
In our society, if you are sensitive and considered a "wimp" or "weak". You are considerate and actually CONCERNED about someone and you "worry about what others think of you." If you vent and actually talk to someone about your thoughts, feelings and frustrations you are considered a "whiner and nobody wants to hear it or feels sorry for you so grow up..blah blah". People drop one another like dropping a leaf. Dropping a book. If people are not as we want them to be or do not conform to certain behaviors, we are considered "problems". We live amongst one another and could careless how we treat one another. Its "justifiable". Last night, I accidently hit the wrong button on the television and my mother went off on me. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!!! Yet, the yelling came. There is no room for error. No room for compassion. No room for acceptance. No room for a person to be themselves. And you know what?? It gets to be too hard to live up to after a while. These kids are being taught this and are killing one another. Its my generation that are raising kids today. It is our generation that started spitting on each other, stepping on one another, physically hurting each other, emotionally killing each other, having no regard for one another, setting each other on fire etc. True, not everyone in our generation was peer abused, however, those of us that were are aware of how horrible people can be. Yet we saw these same people get away with their crap. This brings me to this parent. My guess (but I do not know) is that this woman is amongst my generation, abused her peers growing up and got away with it. Now, she is caught, yet she is protected as her name is annonymous and you know what?? She should have been charged with first degree murder yet she is walking. Again, the bully gets away with it. Her daughter should be punished but this woman should be locked up. She is a sociopath for crimeney sakes! Okay, I have never evaluated her but a child killed herself over her actions and she has yet to apologize?? Avoid responsibility, twist words and events and hey! Its all good. No, its not all good, its sick! Very sick and angers me that she is getting off scott free in this. So is her daughter.
Lets get real....we are a society that caters to pathological behavior. We excuse it. We punish the victims. Nobody thought about how this would affect Megan. Never mind she was peer abused and on meds and her psyche was fragile. No, that does not matter. All that matters is that Megan cannot take a joke more than likely. Yeah, that is probably her excuse. Someone is emotional, they are too sensitive. You know, I am PROUD to be sensitive. PROUD that I cry. PROUD that I get hurt by conflict. It makes me compassionate, caring and to actually give a damn about my fellow man. If something is wrong with this, well, time to evaluate society and what it brings to the table. Also, it makes me a good friend. I support my friends, listen to them when they hurt, help them when they need it and never turn my back on them because they "say this" or "do that". The only time they get shown the door is when they get abusive. And I have the wisdom now to know the difference. I will NOT be peer abused! NO!!!!
Okay, this rant probably makes NO sense but its how I feel. It angers me that this woman is getting away with this. It angers me that she has not apologized to Megans family. It angers me that she takes no responsibility. Most important, it angers me that the media is protecting who she is. I am probably coming off as judgemental but oh well.....I am angry and this story has made me think about all of this. There is NO EXCUSE yet we, as society, excuse it. We want everyone to conform to one way of thinking. We want to forget that we have compassion, love and sensitivity in others. We just want to be mean and target people. Hurt them. Make them "grow up". Frankly, anyone who is in tune with these aspects of themselves aremore grown up than any grown up will ever be. Again, this is my own opinion.
Anyway, I had to vent.....somewhere. I will continue to hold on to my beliefs. Because I have some darned good qualities that folks like this hoax woman will never have. As for her, shes pathetic .Makes me wanna barf......GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you read this far, thanks. I know this makes no sense but to me, these are conclusions I have drawn from this. As long as we "adore Simon and his cruelty", hide this womans name as she is too much of a coward and own up to this.....well, what else can we say?? Also, I hope this did not offend anyone. Its the woman I am angry at, not anyon eelse. Its sick......yet acceptable. What else can I say????
In our society, if you are sensitive and considered a "wimp" or "weak". You are considerate and actually CONCERNED about someone and you "worry about what others think of you." If you vent and actually talk to someone about your thoughts, feelings and frustrations you are considered a "whiner and nobody wants to hear it or feels sorry for you so grow up..blah blah". People drop one another like dropping a leaf. Dropping a book. If people are not as we want them to be or do not conform to certain behaviors, we are considered "problems". We live amongst one another and could careless how we treat one another. Its "justifiable". Last night, I accidently hit the wrong button on the television and my mother went off on me. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT!!!!! Yet, the yelling came. There is no room for error. No room for compassion. No room for acceptance. No room for a person to be themselves. And you know what?? It gets to be too hard to live up to after a while. These kids are being taught this and are killing one another. Its my generation that are raising kids today. It is our generation that started spitting on each other, stepping on one another, physically hurting each other, emotionally killing each other, having no regard for one another, setting each other on fire etc. True, not everyone in our generation was peer abused, however, those of us that were are aware of how horrible people can be. Yet we saw these same people get away with their crap. This brings me to this parent. My guess (but I do not know) is that this woman is amongst my generation, abused her peers growing up and got away with it. Now, she is caught, yet she is protected as her name is annonymous and you know what?? She should have been charged with first degree murder yet she is walking. Again, the bully gets away with it. Her daughter should be punished but this woman should be locked up. She is a sociopath for crimeney sakes! Okay, I have never evaluated her but a child killed herself over her actions and she has yet to apologize?? Avoid responsibility, twist words and events and hey! Its all good. No, its not all good, its sick! Very sick and angers me that she is getting off scott free in this. So is her daughter.
Lets get real....we are a society that caters to pathological behavior. We excuse it. We punish the victims. Nobody thought about how this would affect Megan. Never mind she was peer abused and on meds and her psyche was fragile. No, that does not matter. All that matters is that Megan cannot take a joke more than likely. Yeah, that is probably her excuse. Someone is emotional, they are too sensitive. You know, I am PROUD to be sensitive. PROUD that I cry. PROUD that I get hurt by conflict. It makes me compassionate, caring and to actually give a damn about my fellow man. If something is wrong with this, well, time to evaluate society and what it brings to the table. Also, it makes me a good friend. I support my friends, listen to them when they hurt, help them when they need it and never turn my back on them because they "say this" or "do that". The only time they get shown the door is when they get abusive. And I have the wisdom now to know the difference. I will NOT be peer abused! NO!!!!
Okay, this rant probably makes NO sense but its how I feel. It angers me that this woman is getting away with this. It angers me that she has not apologized to Megans family. It angers me that she takes no responsibility. Most important, it angers me that the media is protecting who she is. I am probably coming off as judgemental but oh well.....I am angry and this story has made me think about all of this. There is NO EXCUSE yet we, as society, excuse it. We want everyone to conform to one way of thinking. We want to forget that we have compassion, love and sensitivity in others. We just want to be mean and target people. Hurt them. Make them "grow up". Frankly, anyone who is in tune with these aspects of themselves aremore grown up than any grown up will ever be. Again, this is my own opinion.
Anyway, I had to vent.....somewhere. I will continue to hold on to my beliefs. Because I have some darned good qualities that folks like this hoax woman will never have. As for her, shes pathetic .Makes me wanna barf......GRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!! If you read this far, thanks. I know this makes no sense but to me, these are conclusions I have drawn from this. As long as we "adore Simon and his cruelty", hide this womans name as she is too much of a coward and own up to this.....well, what else can we say?? Also, I hope this did not offend anyone. Its the woman I am angry at, not anyon eelse. Its sick......yet acceptable. What else can I say????
Monday, November 05, 2007
Peer Abuse Newsletter
Hi, the Peer Abuse Newsletter for November 2007 is out. Visit http://groups.yahoo.com/group/peerabuse and feel free to sign up. Its free, goes out only 4 times a year, all contact info is kept private and you can unsubscribe at any time. If you wish for me to sign you up, email me at elizabethbennett@peerabuse.info .
Have a good day,
Elizabeth Bennett
Have a good day,
Elizabeth Bennett
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Secrets
Hi, I am writing this as I am aware of the school shooting that occurred at Success Tech Academy in Cleveland, Ohio yesterday. The shooters name was Asa Coon and he murdered four students and then turned the gun on himself.
Now, I must ask…..WHY do people continue to turn a blind eye to the fact that this child was bullied? No, not bullied but Peer Abused? Bullying IS abuse; its Peer Abuse and is Americas dirtiest little secret as far as I am concerned. From what I understand, this boy was teased and abused by his peers in school. I also heard he had a rough home life. What bothers me is this child repeatedly asked for help but everyone turned a blind eye. Yeah, “ignored him and hoped it would all go away”. Boy, isn’t that standard excuse getting stale?
Folks, its time to get real. I do not mean “put a pretty pink bow on top of a beautifully wrapped gift” here. This whole “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” attitude makes me want to puke. We have a serious problem on our hands. Kids are killing each other every day yet we turn a blind eye. After all, why report on these harsh realities when we can waste our time reporting on Britney Spears and every move she makes! What does this say about us? Our society? Well, while society remains in denial and continues to support Britney Spears and her problems, I am here daily working to try and raise the awareness of the fact that Peer Abuse is a serious problem in our society. I was bullied for 27 years and I know exactly what this does to a person. I am clinically depressed, socially anxious and still have post traumatic stress from this. But you know what? At least I am doing something about it. And its time for the rest of society to do the same. We take child, sexual, domestic and elder abuse seriously, why are we not talking Peer Abuse seriously? Its not just “stealing milk money” any longer but a serious problem. As adults, we should be protecting children, not enabling them to kill one another. By turning a blind eye, that is exactly what we do!
For the love of GOD, please check out my book entitled “Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” and another good one entitled “Bullycide In America: Moms Speak Out” and learn some harsh realities of what this problem is doing to our children and to our society as a whole. Please visit http://www.peerabuse.info to learn more about both of these books. You WILL get a good, honest education from both. These children are our future and as long as we ignore this and excuse it, we are only making things worse.
Let me leave you with this thought: Peer Abuse is an ADULT problem because as adults, we allow it to continue”. Just chew on that for a spell….
My sincere condolences to all family, friends and loved ones who were directly affected by this recent tragedy. You all remain in my prayers. None of you deserved this, none of you!
Have a good evening,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info/
“Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective”
Now, I must ask…..WHY do people continue to turn a blind eye to the fact that this child was bullied? No, not bullied but Peer Abused? Bullying IS abuse; its Peer Abuse and is Americas dirtiest little secret as far as I am concerned. From what I understand, this boy was teased and abused by his peers in school. I also heard he had a rough home life. What bothers me is this child repeatedly asked for help but everyone turned a blind eye. Yeah, “ignored him and hoped it would all go away”. Boy, isn’t that standard excuse getting stale?
Folks, its time to get real. I do not mean “put a pretty pink bow on top of a beautifully wrapped gift” here. This whole “Breakfast At Tiffany’s” attitude makes me want to puke. We have a serious problem on our hands. Kids are killing each other every day yet we turn a blind eye. After all, why report on these harsh realities when we can waste our time reporting on Britney Spears and every move she makes! What does this say about us? Our society? Well, while society remains in denial and continues to support Britney Spears and her problems, I am here daily working to try and raise the awareness of the fact that Peer Abuse is a serious problem in our society. I was bullied for 27 years and I know exactly what this does to a person. I am clinically depressed, socially anxious and still have post traumatic stress from this. But you know what? At least I am doing something about it. And its time for the rest of society to do the same. We take child, sexual, domestic and elder abuse seriously, why are we not talking Peer Abuse seriously? Its not just “stealing milk money” any longer but a serious problem. As adults, we should be protecting children, not enabling them to kill one another. By turning a blind eye, that is exactly what we do!
For the love of GOD, please check out my book entitled “Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective” and another good one entitled “Bullycide In America: Moms Speak Out” and learn some harsh realities of what this problem is doing to our children and to our society as a whole. Please visit http://www.peerabuse.info to learn more about both of these books. You WILL get a good, honest education from both. These children are our future and as long as we ignore this and excuse it, we are only making things worse.
Let me leave you with this thought: Peer Abuse is an ADULT problem because as adults, we allow it to continue”. Just chew on that for a spell….
My sincere condolences to all family, friends and loved ones who were directly affected by this recent tragedy. You all remain in my prayers. None of you deserved this, none of you!
Have a good evening,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info/
“Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective”
Monday, October 08, 2007
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
New book "Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective" serves up a radical new perspective on a timeless टोपिक
September 17, 2007 --- Is bullying an acceptable childhood rite of passage or a form of potentially severe abuse?"Bullying is Peer Abuse," insists author Elizabeth Bennett। "Bullying has long been accepted as a normal part of growing up, but everything changed after Columbine। After one of the greatest school massacres in American history, people began to realize how severe the danger can be, but parents and educators are often at a loss as to how to cope with it।"Peer Abuse Know More! introduces the reader to the term ‘Peer Abuse’ and gives insight into the psychological make-up of both victims and bullies। What are the possible consequences of tolerating peer abuse? Victims may develop problems such as depression or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder। Bullies may develop personality issues such as narcissistic and anti-social personality disorders। What is the perfect Anti-Bullying Law? What is the effect on adult survivors? A 20-point questionnaire for Adult Survivors of Peer Abuse is included.About the Author: Elizabeth Bennett is an adult survivor of over 27 years of peer abuse, has developed her work and made a mission of educating others on this serious and complex problem.
# # # # Contact Elizabeth Bennett 213-388-8939
Elizabeth Bennett@peerabuse.info
http://www.peerabuse.info
Infinity Publishing-ISBN 0-7414-3265-X-$13.95 retail
New book "Peer Abuse Know More! Bullying From A Psychological Perspective" serves up a radical new perspective on a timeless टोपिक
September 17, 2007 --- Is bullying an acceptable childhood rite of passage or a form of potentially severe abuse?"Bullying is Peer Abuse," insists author Elizabeth Bennett। "Bullying has long been accepted as a normal part of growing up, but everything changed after Columbine। After one of the greatest school massacres in American history, people began to realize how severe the danger can be, but parents and educators are often at a loss as to how to cope with it।"Peer Abuse Know More! introduces the reader to the term ‘Peer Abuse’ and gives insight into the psychological make-up of both victims and bullies। What are the possible consequences of tolerating peer abuse? Victims may develop problems such as depression or Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Social Anxiety Disorder। Bullies may develop personality issues such as narcissistic and anti-social personality disorders। What is the perfect Anti-Bullying Law? What is the effect on adult survivors? A 20-point questionnaire for Adult Survivors of Peer Abuse is included.About the Author: Elizabeth Bennett is an adult survivor of over 27 years of peer abuse, has developed her work and made a mission of educating others on this serious and complex problem.
# # # # Contact Elizabeth Bennett 213-388-8939
Elizabeth Bennett@peerabuse.info
http://www.peerabuse.info
Infinity Publishing-ISBN 0-7414-3265-X-$13.95 retail
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Blog Against Sexism Day!
Okay, I saw somewhere that people were blogging against sexism today. From what I understand (and do not quote me as gospel here)that today is Womens International Day or something to that affect. Anyhoo, I thought I would come out of the woodwork here and write about it. I stink at this blogging stuff! It may be tomorrow or two years from now before I write in this again.....
Frankly, I think sexism sucks. Why? People are created equally! The Preamble (again, do not quote me on this. It has been eons since I had a history class)stated that all men are created equally with life, liberty and pursuit of happiness! So, why do men think they "out rank" women so to speak? Why do men think they can violate women and do as they please? They sexually harass in the workplace, abuse their wives......its WRONG! Plus, hiring people at jobs based on sex is wrong. I remember back in the 70's during the ERA, women were going to college and being hired as secretarys while men got the jobs they were just as qualified for! That "defer to the man" stuff was so out the door! Gloria Steinem knew to call a spade a spade and she opened a door for women in careers, home life etc. Also, It irks me when men refer to a woman as "his old lady" or "his bitch". SO WRONG!
I could very easily tie this into bullying. However, today is not about bullying. It is about women and their rights. A day against sexism. I, for one, support it.
Feel free to leave comments. Just know that if you are going to be nasty, I will delete it. I do not have the time or energy for it. Just stating my own .2 here.
Have a good day,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info: Theorist and Consultant
http://www.bullypolice.org: National Survivor Specialist
National Certified Olweus Bully Prevention Trainer
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but I will not be bullied"
Frankly, I think sexism sucks. Why? People are created equally! The Preamble (again, do not quote me on this. It has been eons since I had a history class)stated that all men are created equally with life, liberty and pursuit of happiness! So, why do men think they "out rank" women so to speak? Why do men think they can violate women and do as they please? They sexually harass in the workplace, abuse their wives......its WRONG! Plus, hiring people at jobs based on sex is wrong. I remember back in the 70's during the ERA, women were going to college and being hired as secretarys while men got the jobs they were just as qualified for! That "defer to the man" stuff was so out the door! Gloria Steinem knew to call a spade a spade and she opened a door for women in careers, home life etc. Also, It irks me when men refer to a woman as "his old lady" or "his bitch". SO WRONG!
I could very easily tie this into bullying. However, today is not about bullying. It is about women and their rights. A day against sexism. I, for one, support it.
Feel free to leave comments. Just know that if you are going to be nasty, I will delete it. I do not have the time or energy for it. Just stating my own .2 here.
Have a good day,
Elizabeth Bennett
http://www.peerabuse.info: Theorist and Consultant
http://www.bullypolice.org: National Survivor Specialist
National Certified Olweus Bully Prevention Trainer
"Sticks and stones may break my bones but I will not be bullied"
Thursday, March 31, 2005
Scapegoat Television Style
Well......it has been a while since I blogged. However, this is something I feel NEEDED to be said. This is about a show that was recently cancelled called "life as we know it". It aired this past fall on ABC network. The ratings were not good, however, this show was censored in many places thanks to an organization known as the PTC or Parents Television Council. I do not know these people nor have I ever met them. However, they saw only ONE episode of this show and filed a FCC complaint. Yet, there is so much on television that is equally as bad or even worse yet they do not censor these other things. Because of this censorship, life as we know it did not air in many cities. As a result, the Neilsens were not valid because the ratings WOULD have been higher if the censorship of this show did not occur. I am making a comparison on this blog to a popular show Everybody Loves Raymond and a couple of others. Now, I am a Raymond fan and watch it from time to time as well. However, the PTC gives Raymond a "green light rating" yet had some content aired back in November that was just as equal if not worse than the complaints the PTC gave with some equal content on life as we know it. I ask: WHERE is the consistency? Why complain about one show while the other, just as equal in content, gets a green light rating? It makes NO SENSE to me and here is what I am talking about. Plus, I mention some other things on television that are just as worse, yet I do not see them running to the FCC. So yeah, it looks like scapegoating in my eyes.
In the first episode, Dino caught his mother with the hockey coach and they pull off each others shirts, the FCC went ballistic. Well, the Thanksgiving eppy of Raymond, Debra's parents were there visiting and her dad was staying with Ray and Debra while her mom was staying across the street at Marie and Franks. WELL......during the middle of the night, Raymond (who is staying in Allys room with Debra so her dad can have their room)gets up for some reason. He goes into his room and catches Debs parents together having sex. Plus, he saw them without clothes on. No, WE did not see them but it was implied. The next day, we have the Barone's, Robert and Amy and waiting on Amy's parents to show for Thanksgiving dinner. Well, this time, we get to HEAR Debra's parents having sex and lets not forget that Debra and Ray have three children who are younger than Dino and these kids were on lawki. Anyway, we get to see Deb's mom come downstairs in nothing but a bedsheet and dad is wearing a bedspread. At this point, we learn that the parents (who are divorced)are not getting back together or want to be married. They just want the sex so they get together and have sex....that's it. When they mention this, Amy's sheltered parents walk in and I think her mother passes out from what I can remember but not too sure. Anyway, they are offended by this and turn right around and go back home.
So, both involved a situation where I would consider the content to be equal. In lawki, mom and coach pull off each others shirts and mom wears a bra. In Raymond, mom is wearing a bedsheet. In lawki, Dino is shocked and leaves. In Raymond, we get to hear the parents having sex and we
learned that to heck with their wedding vows and divorce, they just want to have sex. In lawki, we have a remorseful mother who breaks it off with the hockey coach because of her confused son. In Raymond, we have a 13 year old girl and 8 year old twins and divorced parents who could care less and lets everyone know about their sex lives like it is no big deal. In lawki, we have a group of 15 year old kids and one having a younger brother who looks to be about 10 or 11 yet he is not there when mom and coach are caught. The kids on Raymond were there from what I remember.
Now, the PTC has given Raymond a "green light" rating while they go to the FCC and get this show censored in many places. Sorry but the content is, in my opinion, equal. Same level, around the same age in the kids. Similar but not idenical circumstances. There is, in my opinion, no
consistency in this.
On DH, we have a married woman having an affair with a 17 year old kid. On lawki, we have a unmarried teacher having an affair with a student. Not much of a difference in the ages of the kids. However, America is beyond obsessed with DH and they are bringing in the money so.....uh no, they are not going to whine to the FCC and get the show censored because they know they can't get it censored or taken off as long as it brings in the almighty dollar. Sure, the commercial with Nicolette Sheridan and the football player in the locker room, they went to the FCC about. They have given DH a "red" light and can understand that also.
The DH rating I understand. No, it is not for kids. lawki was not for kids younger than high school. Raymond has viewers of all age and is considered a family show. Yet, there are references to sex and other things on there. Patricia Heaton even stated in an interview once that she does NOT let her own kids watch Raymond because she feels it is not designed for kids.
If the PTC had not been able to censor lawki in different places in the country, the ratings would have been a lot higher I think yet the Neilsens were counting, what I felt, were invalid results because of this. It would have remained on the air because people WERE watching it. It was not
advertised as much as DH. Parents were using this show as an educational tool to teach their kids. I know because they wrote me and told me so when I got involved in this Save lawki campaign. It was finding an audience and people liked it. It was not given the chance to grow in my opinion.
So, with all of this, I felt that the PTC was not only inconsistent but they had to find SOMEONE or SOME SHOW to pick on. Plus, there is so much WORSE on television now and yeah, they complain about it. However, they do not try to censor it like they did this one. Heck, I saw an episode of "The Surreal Life" where the guy who played "Mini Me" in the Austin Powers movies was peeing in a corner for the whole world to see. Yet it is not censored????
So, I ask, is this not scapegoating or what???
In the first episode, Dino caught his mother with the hockey coach and they pull off each others shirts, the FCC went ballistic. Well, the Thanksgiving eppy of Raymond, Debra's parents were there visiting and her dad was staying with Ray and Debra while her mom was staying across the street at Marie and Franks. WELL......during the middle of the night, Raymond (who is staying in Allys room with Debra so her dad can have their room)gets up for some reason. He goes into his room and catches Debs parents together having sex. Plus, he saw them without clothes on. No, WE did not see them but it was implied. The next day, we have the Barone's, Robert and Amy and waiting on Amy's parents to show for Thanksgiving dinner. Well, this time, we get to HEAR Debra's parents having sex and lets not forget that Debra and Ray have three children who are younger than Dino and these kids were on lawki. Anyway, we get to see Deb's mom come downstairs in nothing but a bedsheet and dad is wearing a bedspread. At this point, we learn that the parents (who are divorced)are not getting back together or want to be married. They just want the sex so they get together and have sex....that's it. When they mention this, Amy's sheltered parents walk in and I think her mother passes out from what I can remember but not too sure. Anyway, they are offended by this and turn right around and go back home.
So, both involved a situation where I would consider the content to be equal. In lawki, mom and coach pull off each others shirts and mom wears a bra. In Raymond, mom is wearing a bedsheet. In lawki, Dino is shocked and leaves. In Raymond, we get to hear the parents having sex and we
learned that to heck with their wedding vows and divorce, they just want to have sex. In lawki, we have a remorseful mother who breaks it off with the hockey coach because of her confused son. In Raymond, we have a 13 year old girl and 8 year old twins and divorced parents who could care less and lets everyone know about their sex lives like it is no big deal. In lawki, we have a group of 15 year old kids and one having a younger brother who looks to be about 10 or 11 yet he is not there when mom and coach are caught. The kids on Raymond were there from what I remember.
Now, the PTC has given Raymond a "green light" rating while they go to the FCC and get this show censored in many places. Sorry but the content is, in my opinion, equal. Same level, around the same age in the kids. Similar but not idenical circumstances. There is, in my opinion, no
consistency in this.
On DH, we have a married woman having an affair with a 17 year old kid. On lawki, we have a unmarried teacher having an affair with a student. Not much of a difference in the ages of the kids. However, America is beyond obsessed with DH and they are bringing in the money so.....uh no, they are not going to whine to the FCC and get the show censored because they know they can't get it censored or taken off as long as it brings in the almighty dollar. Sure, the commercial with Nicolette Sheridan and the football player in the locker room, they went to the FCC about. They have given DH a "red" light and can understand that also.
The DH rating I understand. No, it is not for kids. lawki was not for kids younger than high school. Raymond has viewers of all age and is considered a family show. Yet, there are references to sex and other things on there. Patricia Heaton even stated in an interview once that she does NOT let her own kids watch Raymond because she feels it is not designed for kids.
If the PTC had not been able to censor lawki in different places in the country, the ratings would have been a lot higher I think yet the Neilsens were counting, what I felt, were invalid results because of this. It would have remained on the air because people WERE watching it. It was not
advertised as much as DH. Parents were using this show as an educational tool to teach their kids. I know because they wrote me and told me so when I got involved in this Save lawki campaign. It was finding an audience and people liked it. It was not given the chance to grow in my opinion.
So, with all of this, I felt that the PTC was not only inconsistent but they had to find SOMEONE or SOME SHOW to pick on. Plus, there is so much WORSE on television now and yeah, they complain about it. However, they do not try to censor it like they did this one. Heck, I saw an episode of "The Surreal Life" where the guy who played "Mini Me" in the Austin Powers movies was peeing in a corner for the whole world to see. Yet it is not censored????
So, I ask, is this not scapegoating or what???
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